Don’t think too much

      For years I’ve been a girl who practices “Look before you leap” all the time. Hearing this, you may regard me as a rational girl. However, I’m not. Thinking it over may be a good thing while thinking too much is quite another thing. Unfortunately, I’m the latter.

    At the beginning ,I’d like to ask you a question? Have you ever called a friend(including your BF/GF) without hesitation when it’s not necessary? You might wonder why I raise such a silly question? Isn’t it obvious that the answer is of course? When we fall in love with someone, isn’t it natural to call him/her whenever you feel the sense of missing. Believe it or not, my answer is no, never. I’ve never called a friend without hesitation, even my BF. I’m not kidding you. And I’m not lying. I’m just such kind of person who thinks too much. No matter how I want to hear his voice, before I click the dial button, thousands of ideas crowd my mind. Is he busy now? Will he be bothered by me? What if he doesn’t expect my calling? Will he think I’m a troublesome GF and gradually be fed up with me? After asking myself so many questions, the impulse to call escaped. Luckily, there’s one human-friendly thing named “text message”. If I want to call someone, I’ll send him a message first. If he is available, he’ll usually call me back. Then another question puzzles me, will he think I’m so stingy that I send message to suggest he phone back in order to save my mobile phone fare? As time goes by, I form the habit not to contact my friends on my own initiative. Thinking too much makes others take me as an arrogant girl since I never contact them. What’s worse, at that time, X was my BF. He complained many times about it .In today’s words he thought he might have an unreal GF. finally he can’t stand it. We broke up. I hate myself so much but I just couldn’t change myself.

    Things didn’t change until I met Melody. We were roommates during our internship in the summer of 2015.Although we do different intern jobs, under that circumstance, summer holiday,, while others are traveling around, we , two junior-to-bes shared a bed in a renting room, live as economically as possible, we easily become fellow sufferers. Sometimes after a day’s tiring work, we lay on the bed, chatting. I told her how much I adore her, since she’s always full of positive energy. She can do so many things alone without caring about what others think. While I think eating in the restaurant alone can be weird, running alone looks stupid，calling friends may bother others, etc. I thought she must laugh at the me the next moment. She didn’t, rather she encouraged me, she invited me to run with her the next morning. During our running, she said to me, look, Polly, there are so many people who run alone. Do you think they look stupid? No, of course not. I replied. That’s it. You just think too much. Be confident. It’s not a big deal. If you run alone, people will only think you’re a person who cares about your health by action. Eating alone shows your love for life. Also, call your friends when you miss them. Maybe she’s missing you at the same time. If she’s available, she’ll answer the phone and you can have a nice chat. if not, she’ll call you later. It’s just so simple. But if you don’t call, she’ll never know that she is an important friend to you. Suddenly, my world was righted. I told her I’ll try.

However, easier said than done. I tried but I still couldn’t help thinking that much. Then the speech contest of the national scholarship came. It’s the third but also the last chance for me to be named as “Cai  eight thousand”. I failed last two times not only because I wasn’t that excellent but also for the reason that thinking too much got in the way for me to ask experienced seniors for help. I was afraid that they would think I’m showing off that I’ve got such opportunity. Again. I was standing at the intersection. Melody was a wonderful speaker and she won the national scholarship last year. Nothing can be better but to turn to her. But will she be willing to share her experience, will she  look down upon me ? I began to think. Suddenly , there’s a voice in my heart saying “don’t think too much. it’s not a big deal, Go and ask her.” For the first time, I picked up the phone and called her. I told her why I called and also talked about my struggling. She was mad and shouted at me how dare you be tangled. You silly girl .Did you forget what I told you last summer? Isn’t it better to use the time you wasted on tangling to hunt a good job? I’m always ready to help since you’re my friend, Then she told me what I can prepare for the contest. With her help, I performed well at the contest. Finally, I can be named as “Cai Eight Thousand”. Although it’s not all because of the speech, I learned a lot. If I hadn’t think too much, I could have been “Cai 16 thousand” now, If I hadn’t think too much, I could save much time. If I hadn’t think too much, I could be a much better me.

So my dear friends, don’t think too much. When you miss someone, go and tell him/her. When you need help, just turn to your friends or anyone around you. when you hesitate, just ask yourself is that really what you want, if the answer is yes, do it, no ,quit it.