Singing Snowberg
Chapter One
Frost Forest <7>
Chros©
Sunder tosses her umbrella into the air, it flies and spins out of sight, "no importance. A deer that is walking in the forest doesn't have to know everything."
The bus is flowing in silence. On the joint line of two glass walls, the lamps above leave flashes on the windows and the vehicles that are moving from our opposite direction. My eyes feel tired soon.
Mystery mystery, don’t know when my life started to veil itself, the thing is, this is my life, yet uncontrollable? My present seems miles away from the past, and the past seems light years away from the past I used to know, which is the state so unfamiliar to me.
I try to look at Devo, he is looking at me the same time. This time I realised something. "You have blue eyes!" "Yes, it is." He could be a bluenised one. He saw through my doubt, "No I am not the bluenised, I was born like this." "Are you a mixed-blood? Do you have Russian blood?" "No and no. My parents have brown eyes, and we don’t have Russian in our family."
Perhaps I just omitted all these details. Am I alive? Am I escaping? The life behind me and before me, are as empty and meaningless as the present me, I am blind to their colours.
I look at him again, shattered light is flying across his young face. I never tried to guess how old is he? Or why he treats me so good? Or what made him became a biologist? Or why did he come this long way to Southpole? I never cared to know anyone. Now I want to ask him, but why couldn't I open my mouth? I look out again, still wondering about me, what a vile person I've became.
We arrived at the deposit centre at midday, the sky is lead grey, apparently storms are hovering on the mountains. No building within sight. Yellow grasses all over the vast moor, scattered ponds and puddles reflect the sky, some are already icebound. This sight mutes us, we can't speak to break the dominating isolation. After a long walk, I think I'm sweating. A sign stands on the foot of the mountain, pointing downwards. It is written in Spanish, "El corazón del depósito".
We descend into the underground by stairs, ten minutes later we're at the counter, but there are no receptionist.
"219B, Rosa Sapphire." He talked to the scanner rose behind the counter, then one of the doors opens in silence. Walked into the creepy corridor illuminated with green lights, we walked for a moment, suddenly the door at my right side opened.
"I will wait."
It is an olivine-coloured room. After I walked through the door I hear the shutting sound. I look back, his shadow is on the semi-transparent glass, like a man in the mist.
I start to panic, my stomach shrinks. There are many chambers, embedded in each side of the walls, and several steel chairs almost as tall as the ceiling. I walk around the room searching for a code, 219B. That chamber is already opened, I can see her body floating behind the container wall, no her hair isn’t moving, that is like she is frozen in time, trapped in a timepoint. I wish she could tell me something right now. She has magic power when she talks, maybe we could use her magic to have a mind talking. So I close my eyes, think with my heart, to feel her. She's there in front of me, I knew all wireless was gone, but we have sound and light, they transmit through space, right? We could have another kind of telecommunication. But I see nothing within, open my eyes, and see she is wearing my purple gem necklace, lovely, but wait, shouldn’t be me wearing it? Oh just forget it. I concentrate on her face again, I could see but don't understand, just witness this moment while there is nothing I can do. Then what's the point to see this world? Even sometimes I could do something but the end won't change, then what's the point to be alive? I have to figure it out, before the visit ends. The timer showing the countdown is on the wall before me, 30 minutes and 23 seconds left, oh 20 seconds. I try to forget the time, walking around, anxiety is accumulating. No, no, you can leave here, think it through on the bus, or on your bed. No, no, she will tell you, the answer, the answer. I look at her again, anxiety is accumulating.
I turn and turn around, an urge is pulling me to leave. At the door I see Devo's figure again, he didn't move an inch at all, as if the time never acts on him. I don't know if he's feeling me or something else, I see his hand is slowly rising, then pressing on the glass. The black shadow on the centre of his palm where the light can't reach is now a black hole, sucking out my emotion. Feeling a pull, I put my hand on the shadow, I fell it's getting stronger. Some hot water running down, now I could see the rain drops while knowing they are hot. I could hear and smell and touch the shine, I think it's starshine.
"Rosa, we don’t have to see that star, right?" "You mean Lejanía?"
I'm getting answers from her.
"You're encaged in the container." "It’s your heart that’s encaged. Everywhere you go, you don’t feel free."
The door opens. Time's up. I look at that closed container once more. Rosa, I will come back again!
"You must be hungry," he hands me a sandwich. I had just flew to the other dimension and back, still not feeling my body. He stares at me, blue eyes are shining, really can't tell anything from his rigid expression. Out of the blue, he gives me a hug. I feel the warmth and peace. I like the green light here, and the smell.
On the way back, when the bus stopped at the frost forest station, I looked over that arc door, this time I see the blue.
Walking in a frost forest, I feel the coldness around me. If everything is untouchable, then what’s the difference between touching and seeing?
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