上一次更新翻译思路拆解还是去年的事情了……今年翻译思路第一更,依旧献给为翻译界伟大的CATTI……原素材是2020年秋季CATTI三级笔译实务。
在开始之前,老规矩,复习上一弹:翻译思路拆解 | 2020年CATTI三级笔译实务:今天你吃水稻了么
今天的原文是:
中国在超级杂交水稻 (super hybrid rice)生产方面成就突出,关键人物便是袁隆平。被誉为“中国杂交水稻之父”。他的名字不仅在中国家喻户晓,在国际上也享有盛誉。
袁隆平于上世纪 60 年代开始杂交水稻研究。他带领科研团队使中国杂交水稻一直领先于世界水平,不仅不断实现杂交水稻的高产量目标,而且在生产实践中不断推广应用,从实际上解决了中国人吃饭难的问题。
第一句
中国在超级杂交水稻 (super hybrid rice)生产方面成就突出,关键人物便是袁隆平。
A在某方面成就突出,如果用成就(后置定语)+系动词+突出,句子容易头重脚轻。可以用A做主语,A在某方面作出了突出的成就,这样结构就平衡了。
作出成就,谓语可以用score:to succeed; to have an advantage 获得胜利;取得优势。
China has scored remarkable achievements in...
也可以转译为中国在这方面领先:
China excels in...
关键人物,用名词的话首先考虑figure, a leading/key figure。也可以转译为“归功于”,这样可选的表达就非常多了,be attributed to, be credited, give sb. credit, sb. get the credit...
第一句译文就出来了:
China has scored remarkable achievements in the production of super hybrid rice and this is attributed to Yuan Longping.
China excels in the production of super hybrid rice and a key figure behind this is Yuan Longping.
第二句
被誉为“中国杂交水稻之父”。他的名字不仅在中国家喻户晓,在国际上也享有盛誉。
这句话用了三个表示“誉”的词,被誉为,家喻户晓,享有盛誉,可选的词先罗列出来,然后一个个去挑:
被誉为:Hailed as, be considered, be acclaimed as, be extolled as, distinguish oneself as...
家喻户晓:become a household name, be known by all, be widely-known...
享有盛誉:enjoy/boast/has, etc. a high reputation, be venerated, be world-famous, of world renown...
这句话和上一句联系得非常紧密,其实是可以做上一句Yuan Longping的同位语的,比如:
China has scored remarkable achievements in the production of super hybrid rice and this is attributed to Yuan Longping, a household name in China and “China's Father of Hybrid Rice” known internationally.
另起一句的话,“被誉为……”这部分结构比较简单,可以放在枝叶部分做状语:
Being a household name in China, Yuan has been venerated across the globe as China’s “Father of Hybrid Rice”.
第三句
袁隆平于上世纪 60 年代开始杂交水稻研究。
喜提本篇最简单的一句话,主谓宾+时间状语,都非常清晰:
Yuan started his research on hybrid rice in the 1960s.
第四句
他带领科研团队使中国杂交水稻一直领先于世界水平,不仅不断实现杂交水稻的高产量目标,而且在生产实践中不断推广应用,从实际上解决了中国人吃饭难的问题。
喜提本篇最复杂的一句话……
先从语义逻辑分析一下这句话的层次:
他带领科研团队使中国杂交水稻一直领先于世界水平,(本句核心,放主干)
不仅不断实现杂交水稻的高产量目标,而且在生产实践中不断推广应用,(联系比较紧密,两个“不断”合并,做状语)
从实际上解决了中国人吃饭难的问题。(前句“不仅而且”的结果,也可考虑做状语)
慢慢抠……
他带领团队,可不可以直接理解为“他的团队”his team,或“他和他的团队”Yuan and his team;
使……领先于世界水平,那就是让中国成为领军者,establish sb. as sth., 或者看到这个“使”,优先考虑因果关系,China has thus stayed ahead of the world...
实现杂交水稻的高产量目标,这个要怎么理解?超级杂交水稻是培育出来的,不是农民伯伯一株株插秧出来的,所以要实现杂交水稻的高产量,关键在于去改良品种,而不是搞996。
动词可以考虑improve, improve rice varieties,为什么改良呢?for higher yields原因状语跟上;或者把“高产量”作为杂交水稻的定语,转译为“不断推出高产量水稻”roll out higher-yielding rice varieties;
从实际上解决了中国人吃饭难的问题,这句话有没有点似曾相识的感觉?
解决中国人看病难、看病贵的问题 make medical care more accessible and affordable
解决了村民们饮水难的问题 provide access to water for villagers
解决了偏远山区孩子上学难的问题 provide access to schooling for children in the mountainous areas
……
这句话译文大概就出来了:
His team, by continuously improving rice varieties for higher yields and promoting their application, has established China as a world leader in this respect and helped China overcome its food shortage problem/provide access to food for its population/ensuring that all Chinese people have adequate access to food/making rice more accessible and affordable.
再看这句话的袁的团队的这些动作“实现高产量”、“推广应用”,是不是都是发生在上一句“袁隆平于上世纪 60 年代开始杂交水稻研究”之后?同时也是上句的结果?
合并到一起:
Yuan and his team began research on hybrid rice in the 1960s to continuously roll out higher-yielding rice varieties and promote the technology in rice production.
然后“中国领先于世界水平”和“解决中国人吃饭难的问题”都是上述动作的结果,同时也都是站在国家的角度来写的:
China has thus stayed ahead of the world in hybrid rice and has enough food to feed its population.
未完待续。
虽然平日里小姐姐们工作缠身,更新慢,但每一次,我们都诚意满满。
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