你为何而学？

  很久没提笔写文了，文笔功底low的一批，写这文"章"出发点是家人群里在谈论关于学习的问题，所以我萌发出了总结下我当初求学的心理历程。我为何而学？我最大的动力是什么？
在真正下定决心学好学校里的课程之前我一直很废(原谅这老土的语气，没法)，废到都是班里的倒数，因为我就是个不爱学习的人！
  当我长时间接触学校的各种思想品德、德智体美、文化课等等课程的熏陶时，全天候甚少离教室、被动的接收着课堂老师的熏陶，我的意识也在潜默移化中发生了改变，各种观念纷扰而至，自此我对自己是谁变得更加模糊。回想起作为人的各种不足，我发觉我自身的品质糟糕透了，我自己是如此不完美，不知从啥时候开始，我开始寻找人生意义，找到那个纯粹自己的历程，但是，学校教育能让我找到人生真理的答案吗，试试吧，我明白人自身的局限性，而各种课程是如此枯燥，而我想要的答案在哪里呢？当我偶然间(不知是幸运还是不幸)接触到关于这个世界的未解之谜时顿时上了瘾，我感觉就像憋见了曙光，然而现实与此却那么的遥不可及，那种让我满足于思想上的超能我想给我带来的是双面性，一方面驱使我远离世俗的繁杂、另一方面让我醉心于科学的幻妙，我想根据这种感觉进一步的认识自我，我艰难的拾起对我来说真的很痛苦的数理课程，咬牙切齿的想弄懂物理、化学、数学里一些概念原理，我想我当初的心更多的动力是基于这个在学，至于后面我为啥能考上重点高中、本科大学不过是学校一番顺势推舟罢了，当这波顺势的潮流太凶猛以至于我已经忘却了自己的初心，开始起了学习虚荣的一面，这时我离当初那个想要搞懂的人生目标没近反而更远，多么讽刺。人的心灵本身就充满着各种可能性，人们却总是在背道而驰让心流变得枯竭而不是让它健壮成长会向心海。至于一直在寻找所谓"真理"的我来说可以肯定的一点是，人自身掌握着命运的金钥匙，至于是解锁还是被锁，就该问问那受"贪嗔痴"所障的心灵了。
  言归正传，你为何而学？

  I haven't written for a long time. The starting point of writing this "chapter" is that my family is talking about learning, so I sprouted to summarize my psychological journey of studying at the beginning. Why do I learn? What is my biggest motivation?
Before I really make up my mind to learn the courses in school, I has been very useless (forgive this old-fashioned tone, can't help it), and my grades were the countdown in the class, because I'm a person who doesn't love learning!
  when I has been exposed to the edification of various ideological and moral, moral, intellectual, physical and aesthetic, cultural courses and other courses in the school for a long time, I rarely leaved the classroom all day and passively received the edification of classroom teachers. My consciousness has also changed in the subtle shift, and various ideas has come in, and since then I has become more vague about who I was. Recalling all kinds of shortcomings as a person, I found that my own quality was terrible. I was so imperfect. I don't know when to start, I began to look for the meaning of life and find the pure process of myself. However, can school education let me found the answer to the truth of life? Try it, I understanded the limitations of people, and all kinds of courses were so boring, and where was the answer I want? When I came into contact with the unsolved mystery about the world by chance (I don't know whether it's lucky or unlucky), I suddenly became addicted. I felt like I saw the dawn, but the reality was so far away from it. What I wanted to bring to me was duality, which drove me away from the worldly complexity on the one hand, and fascinated me with the magic of science on the other hand. I wanted to further understand myself based on this feeling, I struggled to pick up the math courses that were really painful for me, and I gnashed my teeth to understand some concepts and principles in physics, chemistry and mathematics. I thought my original motivation was based on this. As for why I could be admitted to key high schools and undergraduate universities in the future, it was only the school that pushed the boat along the trend. When the trend of this trend was so fierce that I had forgotten my original intention, I began to learn vanity. At this time, I was not close to the original goal of life that I wanted to understand, but far away. How ironic! The human mind itself is full of various possibilities, but people are always running counter to let the heart flow dry rather than let it grow healthily and turn to the heart sea. As for me, who has been looking for the so-called "truth", one thing I can be sure of is that man himself holds the golden key of fate. As for whether to unlock or be locked, it is time to ask the mind blocked by "greed, anger and ignorance".
  Back to business, why did you learn?