全文翻译5：城乡转移+混合类题目写作要点+开头段的写作

题目：Many people are moving from rural areas to big cities.Why has this happened ? To what extent do you think it is a good trend?

很多人现在从农村移居到城市。为什么如此？多大程度上你觉得这是一个好的趋势？

自学步骤一：阅读题目后，写出三个观点：

原因：

1.社会发展，经济发展，需要集中劳动力

2.更多的就业机会，更好的居住环境。

多大程度

1.加快经济发展

2.有一些人际关系问题，人情味和家乡味淡了。

自学步骤二：翻译句子：先想词伙，在想句型，然后写句子。

自学步骤三：检查自己的翻译：先看正确的句子的词伙和句子结构，然后看错误的句子，看是否能够发现问题。

介绍段：

句子作用	中文	我写的	答案句	错误纠正	错误类型
背景句，	1.目前，很多人从农村移居到城市。	Nowadays,many people used to live in rural areas has migrated to cities.	These days many people from rural areas have chosen to migrate to cities.	升级表达	词伙搭配
改写题目	2.他们认为在城市更好找工作，生活也更舒适，不过，这个趋势会带来许多问题。	They argue that it is easy for them to find a job and live a comfortable life in a city.However,this trend will lead to some problems.	They may believe that they are more likely to find employment and enjoy a better quality of life,but the movement of population to urban areas can cause many problems	升级表达	词伙搭配，

主题部分第一段：

句子作用	中文	我写的	答案句	错误纠正	错误类型
中心句	3.人们会选择城市居住有二个原因。	There two reasons of people living in cities.	There are two main reasons why these people have flocked to cities.	have flocked to cities.	词伙搭配,时态
原因一	4.首先，城市人口比较密集，工作机会比较多，相对来说，人们比较容易获得高的收入。	First of all,the population in cities is density.By comparison,there are many employment opportunities ,and it is easy for people to earn higher income.	Firstly, cities are more densely populated and there are more job opportunities available, so people may earn more money.	density,n 密度。densely, 密集的	词伙借词搭配
结果	5.这就意味着人们生活水平提高，可以购买更多的产品。	This means that the quality of living is rising,so they can buy more products.	This means that they can improve living standards and afford more consumer goods than ever before.	没有因果关系，而是并列。	词伙搭配，语态
对比	6.相比之下，乡村地区的工作机会很少，因为行业发展不完善，消费力比较低。	By comparison, rural areas's job opportunities are fewer,because the industry in there is not balanced,and the consumption is lower.	By contrast, employment opportunities are scarce in rural areas,due to the fact that many industries are underdeveloped and many inhabitants' buying power is limited.	词伙搭配，scarce,不足的，缺乏的，稀少的	词伙搭配
原因二	7.另外一个原因是城市居民比乡村居民更加容易获得公共服务，包括教育和医疗保健并享有更好的生活水平。	Another reason is that citizens in urban areas are easier to get public service than rural areas, including education, health care and the better quality of living.	Another reason is that city dwellers have easy access to public services, including education and health care, and enjoy better standards of living.	have easy access to ,public services,复数,standards of living.生活水平。	词伙搭配，地道表达。
结果	8.年轻夫妇希望孩子在城市接受良好的教育，从而可以摆脱贫穷。	Youth couple hope their children have great education ,so they can get rid of poverty	Young couples intend to send their children to good schools in urban areas, so as to break the cycle of poverty.	Youth n,青年人 Young couple,so as to. the cycle of poverty.	词伙搭配

主题部分第二段：

句子作用	中文	我的	答案	改正	错误类型
附加观点	9.城市居民的数量增加会对城市的设施和住房造成压力。	However,the increasing number of city dwells has posed a large pressure on city's instruction and living house.	The increased number of urban dwellers can put huge pressure on housing and facilities in cities.	housing,facilities,dwellers,put a huge pressure on,	词伙
原因	10.一些城市土地比较稀缺，很难容纳大量的人口。	Some cities' gland is fewer,and it is hard to contain large population.	Some cities are unable to accommodate a large population because of the shortage of land.	Some cities which lack of land are hard to accommodate a huge number of population. lack of ,这里的lack 是名词，lack in 这是做动词.不能说城市或人 are hard to...; a number of 后面只能加名词复数。	词伙,语法
举例1	11.很多移居者最后要住在贫民并忍受恶劣的生活条件，因为他们买不起房子。	Many migrates have to live a poor standards of living and live in a poor place.They have to accept because they can not afford to buy a house.	Many migrates end up living in slums and enduring poor living conditions,because they cannot afford home ownership.	end up living in slums and enduring poor living conditions,home ownership.	词伙，语法搭配。
举例2	12，人们更加容易生病，因为城市的设施不能够满足清洁水的供应，家庭垃圾的处理，污水的处理等。	People are more likely to have diseases, because cities facilities are not able to satisfy people's need of fresh water,dispose of rubbish and sewage.	People are prone to poor health because urban facilities fail to meet to the growing demand for clean water, dispose of household waste effectively and manage sewage.	manage sewage,dispose of household waste,	词伙，语境。

主体部分第三段（折中段）：

句子作用	中文	我的	答案	改正	错误类型
中心句	13，乡村转移的一个主要问题就是城乡收入差距大，而不是减少。	One main problem of the transformation form rural to urban is that it increases the income gab between rural areas and urban areas,instead of decreasing.	Another problem associated with a rural-to-urban shift is that rural-urban income disparity will grow,instead of diminishing.	rural-to-urban shift,rural-urban income disparity.n. 不同；不一致；不等	语法，词伙
解释	14.有野心的，精力充沛的，勤奋的和有创造力的年轻人会去城市上学和找工作。	Ambitious ,energetic,diligent young people will go to school and find a job in cities.	Young people who are ambitious,energetic,hardworking and creative prefer to go to the cities in search of educational and employment opportunities.	prefer to go,in search of ,educational,employment opportunities.	词伙，语法,语境
结果	15，乡村地区的劳动力不足，重新振兴乡村经济就变得很难。	It is difficult to promote countrysides' ecomomy because of the lack of workforce.	The shortage of labour has become a problem in rural communities and it is not easy to revitalise the local economy.revitalisevt. 使有新的活力；使新生	The shortage of labour,revitalise, local economy,	词伙，单复数
扩展结果	16.而在城市，有些年轻人因为贫富差距的问题就会选择犯罪。	However, in cities,some young people have chosen to commit crime because the poor and wealth 's gap	In cities,some young people may choose to commit crimes because of the widening gap between rich and poor.	commit crimes 复数，词伙搭配，	词伙

结论段：

句子作用	中文	我的	答案	改正	错误类型
总结观点（原因）	17.总之，农村的就业前景不好和经济落后导致了人口迁移。	In summarize,the bad working prospects and the behind of economy lead to people's migration.	In conclusion,poor employment prospects and sluggish local economies have caused the population shift to cities.	poor employment prospects, sluggish local economies,population shift,have caused ,	词伙，时态，
表明立场	18.这是一个让人担忧的趋势。	This is a trend lets people to worry.	This is a worrying trend.	中式英语，worry,v,vi. 担心；烦恼；撕咬	词伙

自学步骤四：整体学习和检查范文，看看是否符合TELCCS原则。

Task-oriented：每句话要注意扣题，尽量出现 题目的关键词。

Extension：句子要懂得扩展，在简单的想法上增加信息，使句子变得丰富。

Linking devices：句子链接要精密，连接方法灵活有变化，前后句子要保持很好的逻辑。

Consistency ：每个句子要和中心句保持一致，和前面一句话论述保持逻辑一致。

Collocations：用词要尽量使用词伙，尊重单词的搭配习惯。

Syntax：句子结构要准确，变化要合理恰当。

粗线是词伙，横线是不同

These day many people from rural areas have chosen to migrate to cities.They may believe that they are more likely to find employment and enjoy a better quality of life,but the movement of pupulation to urban areas can cause many problems.

They may believe that they are 连续二个they,读起来很不好。

提升：
These days many people from rural areas have chosen to migrate to cities,<u>believing that</u> they are more likely to find employment and enjoy a better quality of life <u>in urban areas</u>,but the movement of population can cause many problems.

There are two main reasons why these people have flocked to cities.
these people have flocked to cities... 和前面的migrate to cities 重复

Firstly,cities are more densely populated and there are more job opportunities available, so people may earn more money.
前面也有people，可用 代词代替 so 之后的people.


This means that they can improve living standards and afford more comsumer goods than ever before.By contrast,employment opportunities are scarce in rural areas,due to the fact that many industries are underdeveloped and many inhabitants'buying power is limited.

Another reason is that city dwellers have easy access to public services,including education and health care,and enjoy better standards of living.
Another reason is that 和上面的 due to the fact 有点重复

Young couples intend to send their children to good schools in urban areas so as to break the cycle poverty.
Young couples 应该是突出乡村的夫妇
break the cycle povery, 跳跃，难道去好学校就可以摆脱贫穷？

提升：

There two main reasons why these people have <u>made this decision</u>.Firstly,cities are more densely populated and there are more job opportunities available,so <u>they</u> may earn more money.This means that they can improve living standards and afford more consumer goods than ever before.By contrast, employment opportunities are scarce in rural areas,due to the fact that many industries are underdeveloped and many inhabitants' buying power is limited.<u>Another advantages of urban life</u> is that city dwellers have easy access to public services, including education and health care, and <u>young couples who used to live in the countryside</u> intend to send their children to urban schools to get prepared for better job opportunities in the future.

This increased number of urban dwellers can put huge pressure on housing and facilities in cities.Some cities are unable to accommodate a large population because of the shortage of land.Many migrants end up living in slums and enduring  poor living conditions, because they cannot afford home ownership.People are prone to poor health because urban facilities fail to meet the growing demand for clean water,dispose of household waste effectively and manage sewage.

people 代指不明确，所有的city people 吗？？
for clean water,dispose of household waste, dispose of 是和meet 对称还是和 fail to 对称。

提升：

The increased number of urban dwellers can put huge pressure on hosing and facilities in cities.Some cities are unable to accommodate a large population because of the shortage of land.Many migrants end up living in slums and enduring poor living conditions,because they cannot afford home ownership.All city dwellers are prone to to poor living conditions, because they cannot afford home ownership.<u>All city dwellers are prone to poor health because urban facilities do not have the capacity to manage waste and sewage effectively and to match the growing demand of clean water.</u>

• /'sʊɪdʒ/ sewage n. 污水；下水道；污物

Another problem associated with a rural-to-urban shift is that rural-urban income disparity will grow,instead of diminishing.Young people who are ambitious,energetic,hardworking and creative prefer to go to the cities in search of educational and employment opportunities.
The shortage of labour has become a problem in rural communities and it is not easy to revitialise the local economy.
这二个句子的主语没有直接关系，可以加连接词，thus

In cities,some young people may choose to commit crimes because of the widening gap between rich and poor.
这句话可以去掉，有歧义，前面说的是城乡的贫富差距，这里又变成了城市的贫富差距。

提升：

Another problem associated with a rural-to-urban shift is that rural-urban income disparity will grow,instead of diminishing.Young people who are ambitious, energetic,hardworking and creative prefer to go to the cities in search of educational and employment opportunities.The shortage of labour has <u>thus</u> become a problem in rural communities and it is not easy to revitalise the local economy.

vt. 使有新的活力；使新生（等于revitalize） revitalise

In conclution, poor employment prospects and sluggish local economies have casued the population shift to cities.This is a worrying trend.

提升：

In conclusion, poor employment prospects and sluggish local economies have caused the population shift to cities.This is a worrying trend.