The issue is important,because many people simply do not take the time necessary to solve many of life's intellectual,social or spiritual problems,just as I did not take the time to solve mechanical problems.Before my mechanical enlightenment I would have awkwardly stuck my head under the dashboard of my patient's car,immediately yanked at a few wires without having the foggiest idea of what I was doing,and then when nothing constructive resulted,would have thrown up my hands and proclaimed "It's beyond me."And this is precisely the way that so many of us approach other dilemmas of day-to-day living.The aforementioned financial analyst was a basically loving and dedicated but rather helpless mother to her young children.She was alert and concerned enough to perceive when her children were having some sort of emotional problem or when something was not working out in her child-raising.But then she inevitably took one of two courses of action with the children:either she made the very first change that came to her mind within a matter of seconds--making them eat more breakfast or sending them to bed earlier--regardless of whether such a change had anything to do with the problem,or else she came to her next therapy session with me(the repairman),despairing:"It's beyond me.What shall I do?" This woman had a perfectly keen and anlytical mind,and when she didn't procrastinate,she quite capable of solving complex problems at work.Yet when cofronted with a personal problem,she behaved as if she were totally lacking in intelligence. The issue was one of time.Once she became aware of a personal problem,she felt so discomfited that she demanded an immediate solution,and she was not willing to tolerate her discomfort long enough to analyze the problem.The solution to the problem represented gratification to her,but she was unable to delay this gratification for more than a minute or two,with the result that her solutions were usually inappropriate and her family in chronic turmoil.Fortunately,through her own perseverance in therapy she was gradually able to analyze family problems so as to develop well-thought-out and effective solutions.
这个问题很重要，因为很多人简单地不花费必要的时间去解决人生中的智力、社会和精神上的问题，就像我原来不花时间去解决机械相关的问题。在我对机械启蒙以前，我会笨拙地把我的头卡在病人车的仪表板下面，立即猛击几根电线对我所做的事情没有最模糊的想法，当没有建设性的结果，会摊开我的双手宣布“这超出了我的能力范围。”而这正是我们许多人处理日常生活中其他困境的方式。上述金融分析师基本上是一个热爱和专注的人但对她年幼的孩子却是无助的母亲。她有足够的警觉和关心来感知到当她的孩子有某种情绪问题时或当她抚养孩子的时候有些事情不起作用。但后来她不可避免地与孩子们采取了两种行动：要么她做了第一个改变根据她脑海中几秒钟浮现的想法--让他们早点吃早餐或送他们早点上床睡觉--不管这种改变与这个问题有什么关系,或者她来参加我的下一个治疗疗程(这个修理工)，绝望道:"这超出了我的能力范围。我该怎么办？"这个女人拥有一个敏锐的分析头脑，当她没有拖延的时候，她能很好地解决工作中的复杂问题。然而，当遇到一个私人问题时，她表现得好像完全缺乏智力。这个问题是时间问题之一。一旦她意识到一个私人问题时，她感到非常沮丧，要求立即解决，她不愿意忍受她的不适足够长的时间来分析这个问题。这个问题的解决办法使她感到欣慰，但她不能拖延一两分钟以上的满足感，结果她的解决方案通常是不合适的而且使她的家庭陷入慢性动荡中。幸运的是，通过她自己的毅力在治疗中她逐渐能够分析家庭问题以开发出妥当有效的解决方案。
We are not talking here about esoteric defects in problem-solving associated only with people who clearly manifest psychiatric disturbances.The financial anlyst is everyman.Who among us can say that they unfailing devote sufficient time to analyzing their children's problems or tensions within the faminly?Who among us is so self-disciplined that he or she never says resignedly in the face of family problems,"It's beyond me?"
我们不是在谈论问题解决中的只与明显精神障碍的人相关的深奥的缺陷。这个金融分析师是我们每个人。我们之中谁能说他们不遗余力地花时间分析孩子的问题或家庭内部的紧张状态？我们之中谁是如此自律在面对家庭问题时他或她从未妥协，“这超出了我的能力范围？”
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