孩子离家再远,家长总是悬着一颗心
Parents, whose child stays far away, are kept in an agony of suspense
in agony:疼痛;痛苦挣扎
I was in agony. 我极度痛苦。
He groaned in agony. 他痛苦地呻吟着。
She waited in an agony of suspense.她提心吊胆地等待。
in suspense:悬而未决;紧张状态; 焦虑状态
昨天深夜,我困意十足、睡眼朦胧、哈欠连天,所以干脆爬上床,好好睡一觉。这时,我的手机突然响了,龙佳打来电话,我赶紧接听。
困意十足Last night, I was tired out with the sleepy eyes dim, yawning incessantly, so I hurried to hit the hay for a good sleep when my cell phone rang. It was Long Jia who made the call, so I answered the call without hesitation.
龙佳:“阎老师,打扰您休息了吧,可我有事请教!”
Long Jia: “Hi, Mr. Yan, sorry for bothering you late at night, but I do have a question to consult with you!”
我急忙说:“没事儿,我还没有休息,有事请讲!”
I said quickly, “that’s all right. I still stay up. Please let me know what it is.”
龙佳:“是这样,白天白杨跟他爸爸说,想报雅思辅导班。我和他爸就想咨询一下:目前我们没有让白杨出国读书的计划,雅思考试成绩有用吗?”
Long Jia: “You know what? Bai Yang told his daddy that he was going to sign up for an IELTS remedial class. So we'd like to inquire about it. But we don’t have the plan to send Bai Yang abroad for academic pursuit yet, so is there any good having IELTS sources in China?”
我不假思索地说:“雅思考试(IELTS-International English Language Testing System),是向全世界推出的标准化考试,主要是测试和评估希望到讲英语国家学习或工作或移民定居人士的综合英语能力。考试分听、说、读、写四个部分,总分9分。”
I blurted out, “IELTS represents a standardized test open to the whole world, mainly measuring and evaluating the comprehensive English competency and proficiency of people who want to study or work or immigrate and settle where English is used as a language of communication. It uses a nine-band scale to clearly identify levels of proficiency, from non-user (band score 1) through to expert (band score 9).”
我接着说:“按照其定义,不难看出,雅思考试的对象主要是三类人群:留学者、海外从业者或移居海外人士。说白了,雅思成绩在国内几乎没有什么参考意义。白杨想参加雅思辅导班,是不是身边有同学希望出国学习,孩子可能受到一定的影响,也想报班。所以你们要弄清楚报班的目的。再说,雅思辅导班费用可不低呀!”
I continued, “By definition, it's not hard to see IELTS examinees are mainly three categories of people: overseas students, overseas practitioners or emigrants respectively. Let me put it bluntly, IELTS result does not make any sense in China. Does any of Bai Yang’s classmates or friends want to go abroad? So Bai Yang wants to follow suit. So you’d better find out the true purpose of the matter. What’s more, just trust me: IELTS Class may cost you an arm and a leg!”
龙佳:“我和他爸也搞不明白,他突然提出报班。所以就请教您,想问问能不能让白杨报雅思班吗?”
Long Jia: “We don’t get it at all when we were dazed by his sudden request. So do us a favor by letting us know whether we’d satisfy his desire!”
我说:“关键看孩子报班的动机和目的。如果没有出国的打算,不如鼓励孩子报研究生英语辅导班,终归孩子大学毕业了还要考研,未雨绸缪,早点着手做好准备。”
I pointed out, “The key lies in the real purpose of motive of the child. If he has no intention of going abroad, it would be better to encourage him to sign up for a postgraduate English class. After all, Bai Yang will sit for postgraduate entrance exams prior to his graduation. He can take precautions beforehand and get an early start for a satisfactory result.”
龙佳:“这倒是正事,我也觉得报雅思班不靠谱!”
Long Jia: “Good idea! Anyway I think the IELTS Prep is wide of the mark(毫不相关;远离目标;离谱)!”
我接着提醒龙佳:“是不是白杨在学校需要钱呀?会不会急需要钱,才以报班为名向父母要钱呀?”
I also gave her a reminder: “Did you think whether Bai Yang is in urgent need of some money? He just wanted some more money on the pretext that he needs to attend a training class?”
龙佳:“每月给他的生活费不少呀!”
Long Jia: “We give him more money than his living cost on campus each month?”
我还是想多提醒龙佳:“孩子离家到外地读书,我们应该放手,让他自己走自己的道路。不过,也要看孩子是不是具备独立生活和学习的能力。所以家长一定要注重和孩子的沟通,每天例行公事打个电话不成呀!你和白先生应该找个理由,经常到校陪孩子过周末。”
I also reminded her, saying, “When a child stays somewhere else for studies, we should learn how to let go so that the child can go his own way. However, the key lies whether the child is resourceful and able to live and work independently. So parents must lay stress on the communication with the child. It makes little sense to make a daily call as a matter of routine! You and Mr. Bai try to make an excuse and stay with the child on the weekend.”
我补充说:“另外,你们最好和他的班主任保持联络,将孩子的一些学习和生活习惯告诉老师,便于监督和管理。”
I added, “Also, you’d better keep in touch with his class adviser by telling him about Bai Yang’s learning and living habits for the purpose of effective monitoring and management.”
龙佳:“这倒是,我和老白下周末就说是公事出差,过去和白杨一起度周末。当然,我们尽快和班主任取得联系。说句实话,我们也怕孩子不懂事,在学校不用心读书,反而出现不应有的偏差。”
Long Jia: “You said it! We will visit him next weekend on the excuse of traveling on business. Sure, we will make contract with his class adviser. And truth be told, we are afraid he won’t put effort into his studies on campus as he does not know any better(年纪小;不懂事). But worse still, things may go awry/go amiss (he may go astray).”
这时,我也想到:大学生成天呆在校园里,时常也会感到寂寞难耐,唯一的精神慰籍就是谈恋爱,所以我再次提醒说:“白杨这孩子长相出众,人品又好,又会吹拉弹唱,肯定会引起女同学的关注,你们可别阻拦他谈恋爱哟,大学生谈恋非常正常!”
At the very moment, something arose in my mind: college students are stranded on campus all day long and they, more often than not, feel unbearably lonely, so the only spiritual comfort they can get is nothing but to go out with a girl, so I gave her another reminder: “Bai Yang was a good-looking boy of good character and also excels at musical instruments, so he is sure to draw attention of some girls. Be sure not to interfere in a love affair. It is perfect normal on campus.”
“慰籍”应该是“慰藉”。“慰藉”的“藉”读“jiè ”,不是“jí ”。“藉”有两个读音,意思不同:(1) jiè ,可构词“慰藉”,意思是“安慰,抚慰”;(2) jí ,可构词“狼藉”,意思是“乱七八糟”。由于有人把“狼藉”写成“狼籍”,于是造成形近别字“慰籍”(《现代汉语词典》、《新华字典》都注明“狼藉”也作“狼籍”)。
龙佳:“我们倒不反对他谈恋爱,只要不影响学习,我们还在支持的。”
Long Jia: “We sure make no difficulties in this respect. As long as it does not affect his normal studies, we stand up for him.”
我最后说:“一定记住:孩子离家再远,父母总是悬着一颗心呀!”
At last I emphasized, “Do make sure: Parents, whose child stays far away, are kept in an agony of suspense.”
我那么耐心龙佳的回答,因为龙佳和她丈夫白先生都是我们多年的朋友,年龄相差不了几岁,但他们儿子比我家儿子小许多,我儿子都工作了,他们的儿子才读大一。
I answered her questions with great patience in that Long Jia and her husband, Mr. Bai, are my good buddies over years. Though we are not a few years apart in age, Bai Yang is much younger than my son who works not, but Bai Yang is a freshmen now.
这么多年来,我是看着白杨慢慢成长起来的。家庭教育还算比较正统,孩子也很听话。白杨现在都有1.89米了,是个很阳光的孩子,很懂礼貌,也善于交流,人际关系比较好。
I’ve seen Bai Yang grow up little by little all these years. This child has been long exposed to the very traditional family education, so he is quite obedient. Now Bai Yang stands at 1.89 m as a sunny young lad. Moreover, he is good at interpersonal communication and can easily hit it off well with people around.
高中期间,白杨学习任务重,很多业务爱好都暂且放到一边,专心备考,结果也考上了比较理想的985大学,他父母心中的一块大石头终于落地了。
During his senior high school year, Bai Yang was heavily loaded with studies and had to put aside many hobbies with full devotion to the preparation for the final exam. As a result, he was enrolled into a university under Project 985. They felt as if relieved of a heavy load.
不过,白杨也有一个小毛病,特别喜欢网络游戏。今年春节期间,我们两家一起吃饭,我发现他好像对游戏依然那样痴迷,甚至有点上瘾。
However, I could smell a rat in Bai Yang for he was quite crazy about online games. During the Spring Festival, two families got together for dinner, and I still found Bai Yang still obsessed with games, even a little addicted.
我想这可能是因为孩子初高中阶段,家长管理太严,没有时间玩,现在获得“自由”,加之年幼不懂事,疏于对自己严格要求,甚至有些放任,那岂不是“不务正业”,反而会“荒废学业”了呀。
I thought there might be some reasons behind: in the middle school years, the child was strictly disciplined by parents without time to go after his hobbies. But now he is “totally free” and does not know any better than conduct himself, thus neglecting the self-control or even indulging himself in online games. Wouldn't that be “fooling around” so that he may be “derelict in studies and run irrelevant business”.
接完电话,我不由自主想起我儿子大学期间,我也时常担惊受怕,生怕孩子不懂事惹出什么麻烦来,所以有时半夜做梦都会惊醒。
After the call, I couldn’t help thinking the years when my son stayed on campus. Actually I remained in a state of apprehension ever and again for fear that my son might get into trouble and come to a sticky end, so I even woke up from a midnight dream with a start at times.
我家条件不怎么好,儿子又非常喜欢电脑,当然他不玩游戏,而是玩程序设计之类的东西。同时他也喜欢高级的电子类产品,所以我总对老婆说:“每月按时汇生活费,尽量多给点,咱在家里吃差点没事儿,儿子要是因为缺钱偷人家钱财惹出事端,那就麻烦大咯!”
Ours is a cash-strapped family, but my son was completely besotted with the computer not for games but for something like the program design. He was also carried away with the sophisticated electronic gadgets into the bargain. So I often said to my wife, “”You’ll remit the money to our son on schedule and that a little more. It does not matter that we just live a plain and frugal life at home. However, if our son brought trouble on himself due to the lack of money, we would be really in for it.
cash-strapped: adj. 缺乏现金的;没有足够资本的
e.g. School dropouts will have to cope with a life of cash-strapped insecurity.辍学者将要过着经济困难(生活拮据)的不安定生活。
Cash-strapped governments find it easy to cut spending on cultural events, or spectacular new public buildings.经济吃紧的政府发现减少文化界活动或者新的公共建筑的开销更为容易一点。
be in for it: 势必倒霉;难免受罚;势必受罚;难免受罚;深陷困境;骑虎难下;势必倒霉;
e.g. He will be in for it if he doesn't get home on time. 他如果不准时回家,势必倒霉。
Heavens! he was for it now, sure enough.天哪,现在他肯定脱不了关系了。
She was in for it(trouble)before marriage 她婚前就怀孕了,这是倒霉透顶。
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