The concept of assertiveness is usually misunderstood. Most people hear assertive and they associate it with mean, rude, or even manipulative.
In truth, assertiveness is the healthy middle ground between passivity and aggression. When we learn to communicate assertively it means that we are able to communicate in a way that is honest to our own wants and needs but also respectful of the rights of other people.
Basically, assertiveness boils down to this:
The ability to ask for what you want — or say no to what you don’t want — confidently and respectfully.
Unfortunately, this is a difficult thing for many of us to do — mostly because we’re afraid of conflict:
- We worry about others getting bad or angry with us.
- We worry that people will think badly of us or not approve.
- We worry that we’ll look dumb or foolish if we express ourselves honestly.
But here’s the deal:
You will never have true peace of mind if you can’t communicate honestly with the most important people in your life — your spouse, your boss, your parents, etc.
If you constantly feel afraid to express yourself, your mind will be filled with worries and insecurities, or frustrations and resentments — or more than likely, both!
One of the best ways to cultivate a happier, more content attitude and outlook on life is to cultivate the courage to communicate assertively.
It takes practice and patience, but anyone can learn to be more assertive.
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