小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到本期“国外也有段子手”栏目！世界杯闭幕的第一周里，国际足坛稍显沉寂，但依然有不少看点吸引了全世界球迷的目光。利物浦官方宣布签下巴西国门阿利松，而拜仁、巴黎、多特、曼城等球队也纷纷开启了新赛季前的系列热身赛事。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！
重磅引援！利物浦签下阿利松
HappyWarsFan(巴萨球迷)：都TM赖本泽马！(Fuck Benzema.)
Overweightdog(狼队球迷)：今年的英超更加精彩了！有曼联、曼城、利物浦和狼队的竞争，联赛冠军终将鹿死谁手？(Should be interesting watching the title race this year. With United, City, Liverpool and Wolves who knows who will win it.)
Drparrish09(罗马球迷)：要不我也当个利物浦球迷吧，这样我们最好的球员参军的时候，我也不会太难过…( Should I just be a Liverpool fan too so I don't have to be sad when they get our best men?)
Grendila(利物浦球迷)：我再也不爱南安普顿了，现在罗马才是我最好的朋友！(Friendship ended with Southampton, now Roma is my best friend.)
ArrestedDevelopments(利物浦球迷)：阿利松快到我碗里来！ ლ(ಠ益ಠლ). (GIVE ALISSON ლ(ಠ益ಠლ).)
(“益”字竟然躺枪成了歪果仁的表情包…)
Brangein(未知主队球迷)：阿利松走的正是时候！现在C罗来了意甲，阿利松肯定会因为丢球增多而贬值…(Better change league, Ronaldo’s here so his value will only drop in series A with more goals conceded :
Kaniyan(利物浦球迷)：上次我们有个好门将的时候，奥巴马还只是在当议员…(Last time we had a good goalkeeper , Obama was still a senator.)
sean85(休斯顿迪纳摩球迷)：这个夏天克洛普引援所花的钱，比之前在多特蒙德7年时间的总和还要多了…(Jürgen Klopp has now spent more money on transfers with Liverpool just this summer than Borussia Dortmund did in his entire 7 years at the club.)
普利希奇造三球，多特3-1利物浦
Martialsgloves(英格兰球迷)：仅就今年夏天的季前赛，卡里乌斯都能做出一个10分钟的失误集锦了…(You could make a 10 min compilation of the mistakes Karius has made just this pre season.)
OkWill4(格陵兰球迷)：这场比赛卡里乌斯也就失误了2次而已，他一直在进步！(Just the 2 mistakes from Karius today, he's improving.)
重在练兵，拜仁3-1巴黎
Manere(拜仁球迷)：都32分钟了,R-桑切斯还没有传丢球，我好像看到了点希望…(32 min and no missed pass by Sanches. This gives me way to much hope then it should be.)
Chenkurzjacob(未知主队球迷)：拜仁球员是故意都踢得稀烂，但他们没有告诉R-桑切斯，这样他就能成为场上表现最好的球员，在转会市场上不就能卖个高价啦！(Bayern playing shitty on purpose but they haven't told Sanches. Now he looks like (basically is) their best player and will get payed higher in transfer market.)
Kurzjacob(拜仁球迷)：我们的战术就是在前60分钟让布冯无所事事，这样就能催眠他了，非常完美！(Our tactic of lulling Buffon to sleep for 60 minutes worked flawlessly.)
AaronQ94(美国球迷)：看到布冯在大巴黎踢球，还是感觉怪怪的…(It's still weird seeing Buffon playing for PSG.)
Warcrocco(巴黎球迷)：我看我们的个别球员得免费送到法乙去练级了！(Looks like somebody’s getting a free loan to Ligue 2.)
Jganzo132(拜仁球迷)：我看别人的个别球员得被大巴黎2.2亿买走了！(Looks like somebody’s getting a 2.2 million transfer to PSG.)
Gungerz(曼联球迷)：这不公平！人家拜仁的球员都早早回来训练了，而大巴黎的主力却在世界杯耽搁了太久！(Pretty much all of PSG's squad went to the WC compared to Bayern who have a lot that didn't. Unfairly.)
Abedtime(法国球迷)：是啊，在世界杯年还能看到罗贝里在踢季前赛，确实挺奇怪的…(Yeah weird to see Robbery on a pre season match sheet in a WC year.)
格策进球，多特蒙德1-0曼城
MintyRainforest(曼城球迷)：布拉沃这是硬生生的把曼城的首发平均年龄拉大了10岁…(Lol Bravo dragging the average age of City's starting XI up by like 10 years.)
Robcoo(曼城球迷)：美职联平时比赛的观众，和这场比赛简直相差千里啊！(The MLS’s audience was nothing compared to the visitors this game is gonna bring!)
Itsjofa(瑞典球迷)：也许是他们都很激动的想来看看津琴科踢中后卫吧…(Everyone exited to see Zinchenkos break out at CB.)
好了，亲爱的伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”播报就到此为止了，咱们下周继续！
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