Who is  the  thief

上台就开始表演Oh my God,where is my cellphone? I just put it in my pocket, someone has stolen it . help!help! Could you help me to call the police.I lost my cellphone.(Sherrie老师告诉我，在开场的7s钟就可以决定观众是否愿意听下去了)

The guy who has stolen my cellphone is the typical thief in my life.But ,in my life,there is another kind thief. And this thief have stolen a lot of treasures from me. I even don't know where he is .when he shows up .These days , I have been fighting with this thief. So, my dear friend please help to find him.who is the thief?So ,Let’s talk about Lulu after work.“Hi, everybody this is Lulu after work, this evening my plan is to continue with my postgraduate thesis .（这里要写下我的目标在白板上）so,let’s get started. I was siting with my computer.(加上在电脑前的动作，打字)  wow ! My goodness, my idol super Dan had a love affair with a young model. How could he do this? What would his newly born son think of him?.It’s such a pain. what did his wife actually say to this?.I continued searching for further news on this topic, then I was attracted by another news title“Baobao's wife has been pregnant, but the baby is not his”. So I clicked the title to check it out , shit ,fake!

What’s the time now?  half an hour has gone by ,what was I supposed to do tonight. Yes, the thesis. Lulu,no garbage news,thesis,thesis,only thesis (此时手机的微信声音响了) haha, it's Lily . she sent me her new dance video. Let me see,(放神曲) lily awesome funny moves. As I was answering lily,my phone rang（电话铃声响起）ok，ok , It's Shawn.“hello, lulu speaking”“lulu, the skirt you mentioned last time.  Its on sale now. the discount time is only 1 hour. so be quick ! be super quick…. by the way, I have bought one.(Shawn一口气很急促地说)

ok , ok .I’ll be quick. Its a really nice discount! 50% off. so within 10 minutes, I bought one.(开心，响指）but now, another problem; what do I match this skirt with？What about? (there is a voice in my mind saying,"Lulu ,go ahead, learn to love yourself.go searching for a matching shirt ).  Definitely, go on" so ,I began searching a shirt ,no no, this one is too pink,  this one doesn’t fit me, I’d like this one but the price.......,

（伸个懒腰，打个哈欠,按一下自己酸痛的脖子）what’s the time now? Oh, No , it's 12:00 o’clock. I have to go to bed. but what was I supposed to do this evening?(看一眼黑板) I totally forgot about my plan.（拍脑门）

This is just one scenario from my daily life, what about one week ,one month ,one year? Everyday I am busy, I even don’t know what I am busy with?   where has my time gone and what of my youth?

Someone has stolen my time?

Who is the thief?(稍作停顿)

My cellphone? yes, you!Ｉplayed with you every minute, everywhere.from morning to night when I have meals , on the bus ,even when I go to the WC. I wanna stop u. Dame it ,you has stolen so much precious time.

looking at my broken cellphone,

“Are u the real thief?(苦恼的样子)

it seemed to say," no ,Ｉam not the thief, you are the thief who stole your time, you are the thief who stole your plans ,who stole your dreams!It’s you!”

Yeah ,Who is the real thief?  It’s me.

演讲现场