For you, a thousand times over——

1. For you, a thousand times over.

这是一句印在封面上的话，一句烙在阿米尔心底的话，一句让我潸然泪下的话。它在这本书的第二页就出现了，之后则在书中反复出现。每当阿米尔想起哈桑时，他便会想起这句话。现在，每当我想起这本书时，脑海里浮现的第一句话也是这一句。在我的心目中，它是友情的最高体现。书的最后，同样出现了这句话，此时阿米尔将哈桑对他的爱传递给了XX，这样的结局让人心瞬间温暖。

2. But in none of his stories did Baba ever refer to Ali as his friend. The curious thing was, I never thought of Hassan and me as friends either.

或许，不平等的所谓友谊也只能是这样了。在阿米尔的父亲心里，阿里究竟意味着什么？我有点不明白。阿里毅然决然的离去时，他的心里恐怕是极为不舍的。但平时呢？阿里更多的像一个佣人，而不是朋友，不是兄弟。他对其他朋友的态度和对阿里的态度是那么不同，他和阿里就像是古时候的皇子和伴读罢。至多也就是这样了，甚至还不如，因为民族。于是乎，有其父必有其子。

3. Hassan and I feed from the same breasts. We took our first step on the same lawn inthe same yard. And, under the same roof, we spoke our first words.

Mine was Baba.

His was Amir. My name.

Looking back on it now, Ithink the foundation for what happened in the winter of 1975—and all thatfollowed—was already laid in those first words.

阿米尔和哈桑有那么多相同的地方，甚至有同一个父亲。然而对于阿米尔最重要的是他的父亲，他在这世上的唯一一个亲人。对于哈桑，那个人则是阿米尔，他这辈子最珍重的人。每每看到这几行，心就重重的摔在了地上，是心碎的感觉，为哈桑心碎。

4. “Well everyone in my school knows what it means,”I said.“Let’s see.‘Imbecile’It means smart, intelligent. I’ll use it in a sentence for you. ‘When it comes to words, Hassan is an imbecile.’”

“Aaah,”he said, nodding.

I would always feel guilty about it later. So I’d try to make up for it by giving him one of my old shirts or a broken toy. I would tell myself that was amends enough for harmless prank.

不得不说，阿米尔小时候挺顽劣的，经常欺负哈桑，欺负他不识字。那个时候的阿米尔想必还没有意识到哈桑在自己心目中的地位；更不会想到日后他想起哈桑，想起这一幕时心里泛起多么浓厚的愧疚。

5. “To late for Hitler,”he said.“But not for us.”

阿塞夫果然和阿道夫是同类人。那种奇怪的民族主义，简直让人又惊又怒。这样的人为什么在这世上层出不穷，我对此就像阿米尔一样害怕，或许也一样怯懦，无能为力。想起这句话，实是浑身发冷啊！

6. But he’s not my friend! I almost blurted. He’s my servant! Had I really thought that? Of course I hadn’t. I hadn’t. I treatedHassan well, just like a friend, better even, more like a brother. But if so, then why, when Baba’s friend came to visit with their kids, didn’t I ever include Hassan in our games？Why did I play with Hassan only when no one else was around?

人们常说爱情要门当户对，或许友情也需要门当户对。富二代和普通人都很难成为真正的朋友，更何况富家少爷和佣人一般在他家的人呢？这或许也不是阿米尔的过。阿米尔那么一个热爱文学的孩子，心里大抵看不上不识字的哈桑吧！哈桑还给他准备早餐、熨衣服，哪里是朋友做的事呢？而哈桑的一声声少爷更是将他们的距离放大了。

7. I turned and came face to face with Hassan’s slingshot. Hassan had pulled the wide elastic band al the way back In the cup was a rock the size of a walnut. Hassan held the slingshot pointed to Assef’s face. His hand trembled with the strain of the pulled elastic band and beads of sweat had erupted on his brow.

小说的第一个高潮出现在这里。哈桑用颤抖的手举起了弹弓瞄准了意图打倒阿米尔的阿塞夫。多么地勇敢，令人心痛的勇敢。阿塞夫最终被吓退，却在某种程度上种下了祸根。

8. I open my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t. I just watched. Paralyzed.

情景重现，只是阿塞夫即将落下的铁拳下的人变成了哈桑。阿米尔却没有挺身而出，像哈桑为他挺身而出一样。即使平日里，他们两人一起玩得那么开心，哈桑在阿米尔心里依然没有多重要。所以，同样是畏惧阿塞夫，哈桑选择举起弹弓，阿米尔选择默不作声。正如阿米尔父亲所言，阿米尔是有些过分文弱、优柔寡断了，缺少他自己身上的某种特质。那种特质被遗传给了哈桑。

9. I had one last chance to make a decision. One final opportunity to decide who I was going to be. I could step into that alley, stand up for Hassan—the way he’d stood up for me all those times in the past—and accept what ever would happen to me. Or I could run.

In the end, I ran.

I ran because I was a coward.I was afraid of Assef and what he would do to me. I was afraid of getting hurt.That’s what I told myself as I turned my back to the alley, to Hassan. That’s what I made my self believe. I actually aspired to cowardice, because the alternative, the real reason I was running, was that Assef was right: Nothing was free in this world. Maybe Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to slay, to win Baba. Was it a fair price? The answer floated to my conscious mind before I could thwart it: He was just a Hazara, wasn’t he?

阿米尔跑了，这是改变命运的逃跑。在阿米尔心中他的父亲太过于重要。人总是无比渴望自己不曾得到的东西，而不是守护在手的东西，所以才会有无数捡了芝麻，丢了西瓜的状况出现。那时候的阿米尔不知道哈桑对于他连城的价值，不知道不彻底改变个性，他的父亲根本不可能长期对他明显的好，更不知道父亲不是可以赢来的，不知道他父亲想看到他和哈桑是一种怎样的关系。他那时候大概不会想到，如果当时他挺身而出，就像哈桑曾无数次为他做的那样，说不定他们就能击败阿塞夫一伙，都比较健康，他的父亲对他会是一种什么样的态度。我想，那会是一种比他抛弃哈桑更好的一种对待，只不过他们之间依然会有哈桑不断出现。然，历一番生死，阿米尔和哈桑的友谊必定会更加坚固，也就乐意看到哈桑的出现了。无论如何，那会是一种更佳的情况，或许阿米尔后来也意识到了这一点，可惜这世上没有后悔药。

10. “I want you to stop harassing me. I want you to go away,” I snapped. I wished he would give it right back tome, break the door open and tell me off—it would have made things easier, better. But he didn’t do anything like that, and when I opened the door minutes later, he wasn’t there. I fell o my bed, buried my head under the pillow, and cried.

从看到阿米尔选择逃跑开始，我看这本书时的心情就无比沉重，看到这里我突然就笑了，虽然它是短暂的。这一段让我觉得阿米尔是一个很傲娇的人，有时傲娇是可爱的，或者说让人觉得很萌；有的时候傲娇又是坏事的，就像文中。阿米尔的傲娇就毁掉了他和哈桑重归于好的最后机会。我想起这一段的时候，也有点怨哈桑，为什么不多叫一次呢？为什么不推门而入呢？但若是这样也有点太偏袒阿米尔了。小说就是这样，总是有那些不圆满的地方，让人有点郁闷，有点不甘心，可哪能事事遂愿呢？

11. And that led to another understanding: Hassan knew. He knew I’d seen everything in that alley, that I’d stood there and done nothing. He knew I had betrayed him and yet he was rescuing me once again, maybe for the last time.

看到这里的时候我对哈桑的心酸心疼几乎达到了极点，对阿米尔来说此时他的愧疚、担忧等种种负面情绪恐怕也到达了最高点。哈桑是一个真正无私的人，他首先想到的永远是他人，无论何时。

无论别人对他做了什么，即使阿米尔弃他于不顾，他依然选择守护他们的情谊，不愿说出真相，让一切四分五裂。或许忍是哈桑的信条，那锋利的刃一定已在他的心上划下深深的伤痕，他全力试图愈合的伤痕。

12. My whole life, I had been“Baba’s son.” Now he was gone. Baba couldn’t show me the way anymore; I’d have to find it on my own.

The thought of it terrified me.

每当亲人离开的时候，在世的人都会有无数的情绪，特别在是那个人是他的父母时。阿米尔的情况更特殊些，他是单亲家庭的孩子，并且他人生的导向是他的父亲，做的大多事情都是为了得到父亲的肯定和关爱。父亲死了，意味着阿米尔的人生连那个算不上目标的目标都没有了，方向全失。幸好，他的父亲并非突然离世，他还走过了父亲重病这一段让他坚强起来、独立起来的路。然而，父亲的死对阿米尔来说算不上坏事，因为正是父亲的死，让他真正得到了成长，他不再只是Baba’s son，他是阿米尔，他是一个独立的人，他是一个丈夫，是一个女婿。父亲的死让阿米尔学会了寻找自己的路，即使这个过程极为艰难，但在后半本书里，阿米尔最终令人欣慰地找到了自己。

13. And now fifteen years afterI’d buried him, I was learning that Baba had been a thief. And a thief of the worst kind, because the things he’d stolen had been sacred: from me the right to know I had a brother, from Hassan his identity, and from Ali his honor. His nang. His namoos.

我想此时阿米尔心中高大的、无限光辉的父亲的形象忽然就蒙上了一层灰。说那个形象坍塌可能有点过分，但它确实是受到了严重打击。阿米尔这时才恍然明白过去为什么他的父亲会为哈桑准备那么好的生日礼物，明白为什么在很多方面他与哈桑得到了相同的待遇。他们的父亲隐瞒着一切确乎是伤害了很多人的。但又或许保护了阿里，他到死大概都不知道这一切。最可怜的无疑是哈桑，没能得到正视，没能光明正大的享受父亲的爱。也对不起阿米尔，如果当时阿米尔知道这一切，恐怕当年他和哈桑的友谊就不可能走向破灭。不过，如果大家都知道了，不知还会发生些什么。想起这事时，有时觉得这个父亲很丑陋，有时又觉得他选择自己承受这件事，是对他人无私地保护。事情总是那么的复杂，牵一发而动全身，于是那些做下的错事，只能就这么被湮没在时光中，无人可断。

14. There is a way to be good again, he’d said.

A way to end the cycle.

With a little boy. An orphan. Hassan’s son. Somewhere in Kabul.

人欠下的债总有一天是要还的。一个有良心的人但凡做下一件坏事，良知都会谴责他一辈子。午夜梦回的时候，心绪都会翻滚起来，搅得他不得安宁。就此说，阿米尔是幸运的，此时他得到了一个赎罪的机会，一个摆脱梦魇的机会，一个把自己的灵魂从地狱里救起的机会。他在面对救哈桑的机会时选择了退缩，而这一次他不能再选择退缩了，他必须去到危险的喀布尔，解救困在那里的哈桑之子，也是他的侄子。这是阿米尔的希望，他最后也终于勇敢了一次，踏上了返乡之旅。这显然是比当年他想救哈桑时危险的多的境况。不禁令人慨叹，若不愿意付出，总有一天会不得不付出，那一天付出的必然是多得多的。

15. “Why are you here? I mean, why are you really here.”

“I told you.”

“For a boy?”

“For a boy.”

战火让阿富汗人的心伤痕累累。也许是太多的人回到故土，不带感情，只为转移财产。以至于阿富汗曾经的富人回到故乡，都会被看做是那样的人。阿米尔呢？他为着更重要的东西，他来寻找他的救赎。这份救赎于阿米尔几乎胜过一切。

16.It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn’t make everything all right. It didn’t make anything all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird’s flight.

But I’ll take it. With open arms. Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting.

I ran. A grown man running with a swarm of screaming children. But I didn’t care. I ran with the wind blowing in my face, and a smile as wide as the Valley of Panjsher on my lips.

I ran.

Runner is always running. 奔跑是一个贯穿整本书的意象。阿米尔最终完成了跑着逃走到为他人奔跑的转变，终于成为了一个真正的Runner。他从一个被动的人变成了一个主动的人，他从一个为别人活的人变成了一个为自己活的人，他终究收获了他父亲希望他继承的那种担当。同时也出现笑，哈桑三十年前的笑容终是在他儿子的脸上重现了，那一抹笑正是阿米尔最后的救赎。结束前的几章已不如开头那么好看，但这个结尾着实让这本小说走向圆满。读完，合上书，心绪中的几许温暖清清浅浅的荡开，久久不散。