我是谁，这真是一个复杂的哲学问题。毕竟这不是用“名字”可以回答得了的。
我们可能会以为，我之所以是我，都是我们自己选择的，包括了我的生活现状。但是，人在很大程度上是可以被塑造的。首先是我们的环境，然后才是我们的认知，最后我们按我们的认知去选择，最后成了“我”。
比如，我们在幼儿的时期，如果我们摔玩具，如果大人们的脸色是难看的，我们的行为是受到责罚的，那么我们就知道这个行为至少是不被提倡的。但是如果大人们觉得摔玩具也是个趣味事，为此乐呵呵的表示赞赏，那么这个行为就会进行下去。
家长们和老师们的影响力已经大大缩小了，因为商业广告无处不在。即时满足被提倡，所以现在的年轻人，至于是我们这些早就成年的人，“动物性”的直觉与原始诉求的即时满足效用都被鼓励、甚至是夸大。我们变得更加冲动，难以克制自己的感情和欲求。
所以，文森特·鲁吉罗在Beyond feelings给我们四条指导性原则，希望帮助我们形成自己的个体。
- 察觉自己对人或事物的第一直觉反应。但不就此下定论。
- 探寻自己为什么会有这个反应。回想这种反应是来自于家人、朋友或是某个名人吗？自己有没有过类似的经历。
- 考虑其他还可能的反应有哪些？
- 想想是不是有比第一直觉反应更适合的呢？在思考这点时，尽量排除可能造成影响或限制你开放性思考的因素。
下面是一些原文提炼或摘抄：
Who you are?
It'a question in Chapter 1 of Beyond feelings. Suppose someone ask you this question, what's your answer for it?
Name? And more information in detail? Such as your height and age and weight?
In addition, your sentiments and preference sand attitudes couldn't be overlook.
So, the answer for "Who you are?" is really a complex one.
How did you get the way you are?
Then, let's dig out more. How did you get the way you are?
"I'm the way because I choose to be, because I've considered other sentiments and preferences and attitudes and made my selection. The ones I chose fit my style and personality best."
That answer is a natural enough one, and in part it's true. But in a larger sense it's not true.
Influences on Identity
People's daily thoughts and actions vary from the different circumstance we are in. Family, country, belief, value, political affiliation, economic level, attitudes towards one another, all have made some contribution to our identity.
Different from the dominant influence of family and teachers in centuries, mass culture (but broadcast media, newspapers, magazines and popular music) is often greater.
What effects does mass culture have on young people and adults? Modern advertising typically bombards the public to appeal to emotions and create artificial needs for products and services. As a result, many people develop the habit of responding emotionally, impulsively, and gullibly to such appeals.
In fact, mass culture today has made people impatient with the normal rhythms of life because it seems so boring.
effects on self-image
The circumstance of our lives are so influential that they effect not only our view of the world but also our view of ourselves. Our experiences can work a kind of self-hypnotism on us, suggesting a conclusion about ourselves and then urging us to make it come true.
Becoming an individual
"Doing your own thing" seems a natural life situation, but this notion ignores all the shaping forces and it denies the fact that each of us has been channeled and conditioned to a great degree.
So, here are four guidelines helping us achieve individuality:
1.Tree your first reaction to any person, issue, or situation as tentative. No matter how appealing it may be, refuse to embrace it until after you have examined it.
2.Decide why you reacted as you did. Consider whether you borrowed the reaction from someone else – a parent or friend, perhaps, or a celebrity or fictional character on television. If possible, determine what specific experiences conditioned you to react this way.
3.Think of other reactions your might have had to the person, issue, or situation.
4.Ask yourself whether one of the other reactions is more appropriate than your first reaction. And when you answer, resist the influence of your conditioning.
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