美国大学最有影响力的十大毕业典礼演讲【下】

据美国知名媒体评选，下面是近年来美国大学最有影响力的十大毕业典礼演讲：
参考来源：
http://www.managetrainlearn.com/page/top-10-commencement-speeches-01

http://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/topten.htm

https://www.sec.gov/news/speech/spch558.htm

https://news.wisc.edu/address-by-jerry-zucker/

##　1、史蒂芬·乔布斯（Steve Jobs）苹果电脑CEO 2006年，斯坦福大学
　　“记住你即将死去”是我一生中遇到的最重要箴言。它帮我指明了生命中重要的选择。
因为几乎所有的事情，包括所有的荣誉、所有的骄傲、所有对难堪和失败的恐惧，这些在死亡面前都会消失。我看到的是留下的真正重要的东西。
　　你们的时间有限，所以不要将他们浪费在重复其他人的生活上。不要被教条束缚，那意味着你和其他人思考的结果一起生活。
不要被其他人喧嚣的观点掩盖你真正的内心的声音。还有最重要的是，你要有勇气去听从你直觉和心灵的指引——它们在某种程度上知道你想要成为什么样子，所有其他的事情都是次要的。
　　求知若饥，虛心若愚！
　　
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
我今天很荣幸能和你们一起参加毕业典礼，斯坦福大学是世界上最好的大学之一。我从来没有从大学中毕业。说实话,今天也许是在我的生命中离大学毕业最近的一天了。今天我想向你们讲述我生活中的三个故事。不是什么大不了的事情,只是三个故事而已。

The first story is about connecting the dots.
第一个故事是关于如何把生命中的点点滴滴串连起来。

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
我在Reed大学读了六个月之后就退学了，但是在十八个月以后——我真正的作出退学决定之前，我还经常去学校。我为什么要退学呢？

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
故事从我出生的时候讲起。我的亲生母亲是一个年轻的、没有结婚的大学毕业生。她决定让别人收养我，她十分想让我被大学毕业生收养。所以在我出生的时候，她已经做好了一切的准备工作，能使得我被一个律师和他的妻子所收养。但是她没有料到，当我出生之后，律师夫妇突然决定他们想要一个女孩。所以我的生养父母（他们还在我亲生父母的观察名单上）突然在半夜接到了一个电话：“我们现在这儿有一个不小心生出来的男婴,你们想要他吗？”他们回答道：“当然！”但是我亲生母亲随后发现，我的养母从来没有上过大学，我的父亲甚至从没有读过高中。她拒绝签这个收养合同。只是在几个月以后，我的父母答应她一定要让我上大学，那个时候她才同意。

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
在十七岁那年，我真的上了大学。但是我很愚蠢的选择了一个几乎和你们斯坦福大学一样贵的学校，我父母还处于蓝领阶层，他们几乎把所有积蓄都花在了我的学费上面。在六个月后, 我已经看不到其中的价值所在。我不知道我想要在生命中做什么,我也不知道大学能帮助我找到怎样的答案。但是在这里，我几乎花光了我父母这一辈子的所有积蓄。所以我决定要退学，我觉得这是个正确的决定。不能否认，我当时确实非常的害怕，但是现在回头看看，那的确是我这一生中最棒的一个决定。在我做出退学决定的那一刻，我终于可以不必去读那些令我提不起丝毫兴趣的课程了。然后我还可以去修那些看起来有点意思的课程。

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
但是这并不是那么浪漫。我失去了我的宿舍，所以我只能在朋友房间的地板上面睡觉，我去捡5美分的可乐瓶子，仅仅为了填饱肚子，在星期天的晚上，我需要走七英里的路程，穿过这个城市到Hare Krishna寺庙（注：位于纽约Brooklyn下城），只是为了能吃上饭——这个星期唯一一顿好一点的饭。但是我喜欢这样。我跟着我的直觉和好奇心走，遇到的很多东西，此后被证明是无价之宝。让我给你们举一个例子吧：

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
Reed 大学在那时提供也许是全美最好的美术字课程。在这个大学里面的每个海报，每个抽屉的标签上面全都是漂亮的美术字。因为我退学了，没有受到正规的训练，所以我决定去参加这个课程，去学学怎样写出漂亮的美术字。我学到了san serif 和 serif 字体，我学会了怎么样在不同的字母组合之中改变空格的长度，还有怎么样才能作出最棒的印刷式样。那是一种科学永远不能捕捉到的、美丽的、真实的艺术精妙， 我发现那实在是太美妙了。

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
当时看起来这些东西在我的生命中，好像都没有什么实际应用的可能。但是十年之后，当我们在设计第一台 Macintosh 电脑的时候，就不是那样了。我把当时我学的那些家伙全都设计进了苹果电脑。那是第一台使用了漂亮的印刷字体的电脑。如果我当时没有退学, 就不会有机会去参加这个我感兴趣的美术字课程，苹果电脑就不会有这么多丰富的字体，以及赏心悦目的字体间距。那么现在个人电脑就不会有现在这么美妙的字型了。当然我在大学的时候，还不可能把从前的点点滴滴串连起来,但是当我十年后回顾这一切的时候，真的豁然开朗了。

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
再次说明的是,你在向前展望的时候不可能将这些片断串连起来；你只能在回顾的时候将点点滴滴串连起来。所以你必须相信这些片断会在你未来的某一天串连起来。你必须要相信某些东西：你的勇气、目的、生命、因缘。这个过程从来没有令我失望，只是让我的生命更加地与众不同而已。

My second story is about love and loss.
我的第二个故事是关于爱和损失的。

I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
我非常幸运，因为我在很早的时候就找到了我钟爱的东西。沃兹和我在二十岁的时候就在父母的车库里面开创了苹果公司。我们工作得很努力，十年之后，这个公司从那两个车库中的穷光蛋发展到了超过四千名的雇员、价值超过二十亿的大公司。在公司成立的第九年，我们刚刚发布了最好的产品，那就是 Macintosh。我也快要到三十岁了。在那一年，我被炒了鱿鱼。你怎么可能被你自己创立的公司炒了鱿鱼呢？嗯，在苹果快速成长的时候，我们雇用了一个很有天分的家伙和我一起管理这个公司，在最初的几年，公司运转的很好。但是后来我们对未来的看法发生了分歧, 最终我们吵了起来。当争吵不可开交的时候，董事会站在了他的那一边。所以在三十岁的时候，我被炒了。在这么多人的眼皮下我被炒了。在而立之年，我生命的全部支柱离自己远去，这真是毁灭性的打击。

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
在最初的几个月里，我真是不知道该做些什么。我把从前的创业激情给丢了，我觉得自己让与我一同创业的人都很沮丧。我和 David Pack 和 Bob Boyce 见面，并试图向他们道歉。我把事情弄得糟糕透顶了。但是我渐渐发现了曙光，我仍然喜爱我从事的这些东西。苹果公司发生的这些事情丝毫的没有改变这些，一点也没有。我被驱逐了，但是我仍然钟爱它。所以我决定从头再来。

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
我当时没有觉察，但是事后证明，从苹果公司被炒是我这辈子发生的最棒的事情。因为，作为一个成功者的极乐感觉被作为一个创业者的轻松感觉所重新代替：对任何事情都不那么特别看重。这让我觉得如此自由，进入了我生命中最有创造力的一个阶段。

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
在接下来的五年里, 我创立了一个名叫 NeXT 的公司，还有一个叫Pixar的公司，然后和一个后来成为我妻子的优雅女人相识。Pixar 制作了世界上第一个用电脑制作的动画电影——“”玩具总动员”，Pixar 现在也是世界上最成功的电脑制作工作室。在后来的一系列运转中，Apple 收购了NeXT，然后我又回到了苹果公司。我们在NeXT 发展的技术在 Apple 的复兴之中发挥了关键的作用。我还和 Laurence 一起建立了一个幸福的家庭。

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
我可以非常肯定,如果我不被苹果公司开除的话，这其中一件事情也不会发生的。这个良药的味道实在是太苦了，但是我想病人需要这个药。有些时候，生活会拿起一块砖头向你的脑袋上猛拍一下。不要失去信心，我很清楚唯一使我一直走下去的，就是我做的事情令我无比钟爱。你需要去找到你所爱的东西，对于工作是如此，对于你的爱人也是如此。你的工作将会占据生活中很大的一部分。你只有相信自己所做的是伟大的工作，你才能怡然自得。如果你现在还没有找到，那么继续找、不要停下来、全心全意的去找，当你找到的时候你就会知道的。就像任何真诚的关系，随着岁月的流逝只会越来越紧密。所以继续找，直到你找到它，不要停下来。

My third story is about death.
我的第三个故事是关于死亡的。

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
当我十七岁的时候，我读到了一句话：“如果你把每一天都当作生命中最后一天去生活的话，那么有一天你会发现你是正确的。”这句话给我留下了深刻的印象。从那时开始，过了33年，我在每天早晨都会对着镜子问自己：“如果今天是我生命中的最后一天，你会不会完成你今天想做的事情呢？”当答案连续很多次被给予“不是”的时候，我知道自己需要改变某些事情了。

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
“记住你即将死去”是我一生中遇到的最重要箴言。它帮我指明了生命中重要的选择。因为几乎所有的事情，包括所有的荣誉、所有的骄傲、所有对难堪和失败的恐惧，这些在死亡面前都会消失。我看到的是留下的真正重要的东西。你有时候会思考你将会失去某些东西，“记住你即将死去”是我知道的避免这些想法的最好办法。你已经赤身裸体了，你没有理由不去跟随自己的心一起跳动。

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
大概一年以前，我被诊断出癌症。我在早晨七点半做了一个检查，检查清楚的显示在我的胰腺有一个肿瘤。我当时都不知道胰腺是什么东西。医生告诉我那很可能是一种无法治愈的癌症，我还有三到六个月的时间活在这个世界上。我的医生叫我回家，然后整理好我的一切，那就是医生准备死亡的程序。那意味着你将要把未来十年对你小孩说的话在几个月里面说完；那意味着把每件事情都搞定，让你的家人会尽可能轻松的生活；那意味着你要说“再见了”。

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
我整天和那个诊断书一起生活。后来有一天早上我作了一个活切片检查，医生将一个内窥镜从我的喉咙伸进去,通过我的胃，然后进入我的肠子，用一根针在我的胰腺上的肿瘤上取了几个细胞。我当时很镇静，因为我被注射了镇定剂。但是我的妻子在那里，后来告诉我，当医生在显微镜地下观察这些细胞的时候他们开始尖叫，因为这些细胞最后竟然是一种非常罕见的可以用手术治愈的胰腺癌症。我做了这个手术，现在我痊愈了。

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
那是我最接近死亡的时候，我还希望这也是以后的几十年最接近的一次。从死亡线上又活了过来，死亡对我来说，只是一个有用但是纯粹是知识上的概念的时候，我可以更肯定一点地对你们说：

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
没有人愿意死，即使人们想上天堂，人们也不会为了去那里而死。但是死亡是我们每个人共同的终点。从来没有人能够逃脱它。也应该如此。因为死亡就是生命中最好的一个发明。它将旧的清除以便给新的让路。你们现在是新的，但是从现在开始不久以后，你们将会逐渐的变成旧的然后被清除。我很抱歉这很戏剧性，但是这十分的真实。

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
你们的时间很有限，所以不要将他们浪费在重复其他人的生活上。不要被教条束缚，那意味着你和其他人思考的结果一起生活。不要被其他人喧嚣的观点掩盖你真正的内心的声音。还有最重要的是，你要有勇气去听从你直觉和心灵的指示——它们在某种程度上知道你想要成为什么样子，所有其他的事情都是次要的。

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
当我年轻的时候，有一本叫做“整个地球的目录”振聋发聩的杂志，它是我们那一代人的圣经之一。它是一个叫 Stewart Brand 的家伙在离这里不远的 Menlo Park 书写的，他象诗一般神奇地将这本书带到了这个世界。那是六十年代后期，在个人电脑出现之前，所以这本书全部是用打字机、剪刀还有偏光镜制造的。有点像用软皮包装的 google ，在 google 出现三十五年之前：这是理想主义的， 其中有许多灵巧的工具和伟大的想法。

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stewart和他的伙伴出版了几期的“整个地球的目录”，当它完成了自己使命的时候，他们做出了最后一期的目录。那是在七十年代的中期，你们的时代。在最后一期的封底上是清晨乡村公路的照片（如果你有冒险精神的话，你可以自己找到这条路的），在照片之下有这样一段话：“求知若饥，虚心若愚。”这是他们停止了发刊的告别语。“求知若饥，虚心若愚。”我总是希望自己能够那样，现在，在你们即将毕业，开始新的旅程的时候，我也希望你们能这样：

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
求知若饥，虚心若愚。

Thank you all very much.
非常感谢你们。

##　2、杰瑞·朱克（Jerry Zucker）导演、电影制片人 2003年，威斯康辛大学
　　如果你一生都在睡觉，你的梦想是否实现就无关紧要了。

问你自己一个问题：如果我不是必须做得完美，那我还努力什么呢？
　　没有人会像你自己那样对自己的失败那么在意。你是唯一沉湎于你自己的重要性的人。对于其他所有人来说，你只是雷达荧光屏上的一个光点。所以，只管前行吧。

全文：

My Five Rules

To think about, quickly forget, but years from now kick yourself for not having listened to.

Thank you Chancellor Wiley, distinguished platform party, friends, guests and the very reason for our presence here today — the members of the class of 2003.

Before I start my remarks, I'd like everyone just to do something for me. Very simply — so everyone can kind of just get to know everyone else — on the count of three, I'd like everyone to turn around and shake the hand of the person sitting right behind you. One, two, three — right now, everybody, please do that.

So, I guess you still have a few things to learn.

My parents cried when I left for California. Not because I was leaving, (but) rather, I think, because they were afraid I'd be coming back. Not one teacher I ever had in grade school, high school or college would've believed that there was even the slightest chance that one day I would be asked to give the commencement address at a major university.

Many, given the opportunity, would've bet large sums of money against it, putting up their homes and children as collateral. Actually, I really like the idea of that, not because I'm vindictive — although in a few minutes I'm going to read the names of all the people in my life who never thought I would amount to anything — but because life should be unpredictable. And I'm very grateful that I never wasted any time trying to become somebody else's image of what I should be.

So, thirty-one years ago today, I drove from Madison, Wisconsin, to Los Angeles, California. On the way, I passed Camp Randall, where my college graduation ceremony was in progress. I thought about going to the ceremony, but it meant I would've arrived in Hollywood one day later, and at the time I just didn't see the point. I wanted to get there.

Gertrude Stein once said about Hollywood, "When you get there, there is no 'there' there." That's true. However, there will be a swimming pool and tennis court. In the end, though, it's probably not enough to justify a life's journey. Getting there, particularly in show business, is tough enough. You need a combination of talent, ambition, luck and a willingness to tell actors how beautiful they look today.

In retrospect, getting there was the easy part. Finding a "there" there is much harder. So today, before you get into your cars and race off to the rest of your lives, I want to give you some advice on how to get there. And I want to help make sure that when you get there, you find a "there" there.

To that end, I will give you my five rules to think about, quickly forget, but years from now kick yourself for not having listened to.

1. Don't think about your future, especially right now.

You'll miss my speech. There will be plenty of time to contemplate your future right after the ceremony, but then you'll miss all the celebrating and adulation. So just wait until you get home and have a good think about something that will happen in the future that will make you happy.

When I graduated from college, I spent a lot of time thinking about how cool it would be to be on the Johnny Carson show. A few years later, it happened. We appeared on the "Tonight" show, Joey Bishop was the guest host. We were dreadful. For years I ran into people who would stop me and say, "Hey, I saw you on the "Tonight" show. Huh... What's Joey Bishop like?" Eventually I got over the embarrassment, but I never got those years back — years I spent waiting for some future event to make me happy. I had tricked myself into thinking, "As soon as I get there, I'll be OK."

I work in a business where almost everyone is waiting for the next big thing. Sometimes it comes, and sometimes it doesn't. But it doesn't matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping. So get out there and go for it, but don't be caught waiting. It's great to plan for your future. Just don't live there, because really nothing ever happens in the future. Whatever happens happens now, so live your life where the action is — now. And one more thing: If you're going to be on television, don't call your friends and tell them to watch until after you've seen it.

2. Don't do anything that 30 years from now you'll look back at and say, "Oh, my God, why the hell did I do that?!"

I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard someone start a sentence with, "If only, when I was younger, I would have...." So I did a little informal survey for you, and I found out that, amazingly, all these people had the same regret. When they graduated from college, sadly, they bought furniture.

This probably needs a little explanation. Right at this moment in your life, you are in a unique position that you may never ever be in again. You have nothing to lose. Everything you have acquired of value is locked inside you. If you have a dream, now is the time to pursue it, before you buy furniture.

I was one of the lucky ones. I graduated from the University of Wisconsin with no employable skills, unless you count jury duty. It meant I had to start from scratch and figure out where I fit in. I didn't have money, but I could afford to fail, and there were many failures. But I found out what I was good at. I found something I loved. And now I have furniture — lots of furniture.

3. Mrs. Zubatsky's law.

One day when I was a kid, our house caught on fire in Milwaukee. A large section of the wood shingle roof was burning as the fire trucks pulled up. The firemen ran into the back yard with a large hose and began assembling their metal ladders and positioning them against the house.

Mrs. Zubatsky was our next door neighbor and, at the time, she was standing on her upstairs porch taking in the laundry. She watched anxiously as the firemen struggled with their ladders. Suddenly she leaned over the balcony and shouted down to the professional firefighters, "Forget the ladders! Just point the hose at the fire!" The firemen, to their credit, responded immediately. They dropped their ladders, pointed the hose at the fire and extinguished the blaze in about 40 seconds.

There are two morals to this story. One, never assume that just because it's someone's job, they know how to do it. And two, don't let yourself be intimidated by professionals or their uniforms.

Growing up in Wisconsin, I never knew anyone in the movie business. I never even knew anyone who knew anyone in the movie business. That world had a mystique that made it seem unattainable to me. But, like Mrs. Zubatsky, I sat on my porch and I watched someone else do it, and I said, "I have a better idea." And like her, I seized the moment.

If you have a better idea, if your plan makes more sense, if you have a vision, then put down your laundry and scream a little bit. Throw your hat into the ring and never let professionals or their uniforms prevent you from telling anyone where to point their hose.

4. If you're going to fail, fail big.

If you don't, you're never going to make a difference. Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. Ask yourself one question: If I didn't have to do it perfectly, what would I try? For many of you, the biggest obstacle to getting there will be a fear that you have carried with your since childhood — the fear of humiliation, of embarrassment, of ridicule. That is SO stupid! Oh ... sorry. But really, you have to stop caring about that, which brings me to Travolta's law.

My brother David and Jim Abrahams and I were having pie at Rumpelmeyer's Coffee Shop in New York on the day after our third movie, "Top Secret," opened. The reviews were terrible and it was bombing at the box office. We were really getting into some serious moping and self-flagellation when John Travolta walked in. We knew him from the Paramount lot and he could see right away that we were in a funk. We immediately poured out our heart to him, explaining the pain of our humiliating misfortune.

I'm not sure what we were expecting, but John just smiled and said, "Guys, the thing you have to remember is (that) nobody else is paying as much attention to your failures as you are. You're the only ones who are obsessed with the importance of your own life. To everyone else, it's just a blip on the radar screen, so just move on. By the way, are you going to finish that pie?"

I found that advice very liberating — that the only one who my big failure was truly big for was me. So I thanked him and told him how beautiful he looked today, and now when I fail big, I just go out and have a piece of apple pie and I move on. And I always save a little piece for John Travolta. Amazingly, more often than not he shows up to eat it.

5. The next time you go into a restaurant, please don't look at the waitress and say, "Can I get some ketchup?" You're supposed to say, "May I please have some ketchup?" Sorry — that doesn't count. Just a personal pet peeve of mine.

The real #5: Don't overuse the word "love."

Everyone overuses the word "love." "I love your shoes." "I just love the new Justin Guarini CD." "I really love those little things they put on the chicken sandwiches at Subway." In Hollywood, they say "Love ya, babe!" So, OK, I get it. It's just the way people talk and it's probably harmless, but you shouldn't forget the real thing. The real thing is great. It's just not so easy with actual human beings, but if you work at it and you get it right, it will make you happier than anything else you do in your life.

Think of the world as a big glass of water with some salt in it. You have a choice. You can try to pick out all the salt or you can keep pouring in more water so eventually it gets less bitter. As you begin your new journey, you can try to remove everything that you find distasteful in the world, or you can just pour in more love. It's the only thing that the more you give away, the more you have.

So take all that warm, fuzzy stuff you've been hiding and spread it around a little. And then judge yourself not by your accomplishments, but by the happiness of the people around you. If you do that, you can do anything, you can go anywhere, you can fail at anything, and wherever you are, you will find a "there" there, because you'll bring it with you.

I would like to conclude with a sad, but true, story from my childhood. When I was a young boy of only 7, it was decided that I should take piano lessons. This is a true story, by the way. I swear. I studied piano for three years and learned to play one song poorly, which actually turned out to be an improvement over high school. Nobody was willing to tell me that I had no musical talent whatsoever. Finally, after three years, I was invited by my piano teacher, Mr. Dillman, to play in a recital. I was told recently that Mr. Dillman twitched visibly when my name was mentioned at his funeral.

I can't answer for others, but I was very excited that I was at last going to play my song in front of an audience. The day of the recital arrived. That morning, I got the chicken pox and, tragically, I never got to play my song. But today I've taken the liberty of bringing with me a small keyboard and, with your permission, I will finally get to play my song in front of an audience. I swear to you (that) this is the song that I learned to play after three years — the only song I know how to play on the piano. I think you will see that the lesson is patience. There comes a time for everything.

(Jerry played a flawed version of "On Wisconsin," inviting the audience to sing along, and then concluded his remarks.)

Congratulations! Welcome to real life! You graduated from the University of Wisconsin! You can do anything! Thank you.

Hollywood producer & director Jerry Zucker earned a bachelor of science degree in radio, TV and film from the University of Wisconsin in 1972. Along with his brother David and friend Jim Abrahams, Zucker has been responsible for such comedy classics as "Ruthless People," "Airplane" and "Kentucky Fried Movie," as well as the television series "Police Squad."

Read the full commencement address »

University of Wisconsin
Madison, WI
May 17, 2003

## 3、马克·刘易斯（Mark Lewis）教授、临床心理学家 2000年，德克萨斯大学（奥斯汀）

有时候你会干得很漂亮，有时候会失败。
但这两者都不是成功的量度。成功的量度是你自己对你的所做所为怎么看。让我换一句话说：让自己幸福的办法是喜欢你自己，喜欢你自己的办法是只做让你自己感到骄傲的事情。
　　有一个老的笑话，不是很好笑，它是这么说的：“无论你去到哪里，你总是你。”这是真的。
你一生中跟你在一起最多的人是你自己，如果你不喜欢你自己，那你就会总是跟你不喜欢的人在一起。

全文：

University of Wisconsin–Madison Spring Commencement
Kohl Center
May 17 and 18, 2003

Thank you Chancellor Wiley, distinguished platform party, friends, guests and the very reason for our presence here today — the members of the class of 2003.

Before I start my remarks, I’d like everyone just to do something for me. Very simply — so everyone can kind of just get to know everyone else — on the count of three, I’d like everyone to turn around and shake the hand of the person sitting right behind you. One, two, three — right now, everybody, please do that.

So, I guess you still have a few things to learn.

My parents cried when I left for California. Not because I was leaving, (but) rather, I think, because they were afraid I’d be coming back. Not one teacher I ever had in grade school, high school or college would’ve believed that there was even the slightest chance that one day I would be asked to give the commencement address at a major university.

Many, given the opportunity, would’ve bet large sums of money against it, putting up their homes and children as collateral. Actually, I really like the idea of that, not because I’m vindictive — although in a few minutes I’m going to read the names of all the people in my life who never thought I would amount to anything — but because life should be unpredictable. And I’m very grateful that I never wasted any time trying to become somebody else’s image of what I should be.

So, thirty-one years ago today, I drove from Madison, Wisconsin, to Los Angeles, California. On the way, I passed Camp Randall, where my college graduation ceremony was in progress. I thought about going to the ceremony, but it meant I would’ve arrived in Hollywood one day later, and at the time I just didn’t see the point. I wanted to get there.

Gertrude Stein once said about Hollywood, “When you get there, there is no ‘there’ there.” That’s true. However, there will be a swimming pool and tennis court. In the end, though, it’s probably not enough to justify a life’s journey. Getting there, particularly in show business, is tough enough. You need a combination of talent, ambition, luck and a willingness to tell actors how beautiful they look today.

In retrospect, getting there was the easy part. Finding a “there” there is much harder. So today, before you get into your cars and race off to the rest of your lives, I want to give you some advice on how to get there. And I want to help make sure that when you get there, you find a “there” there.

To that end, I will give you my five rules to think about, quickly forget, but years from now kick yourself for not having listened to.

#1. Don’t think about your future, especially right now. You’ll miss my speech. There will be plenty of time to contemplate your future right after the ceremony, but then you’ll miss all the celebrating and adulation. So just wait until you get home and have a good think about something that will happen in the future that will make you happy.

When I graduated from college, I spent a lot of time thinking about how cool it would be to be on the Johnny Carson show. A few years later, it happened. We appeared on the “Tonight” show, Joey Bishop was the guest host. We were dreadful. For years I ran into people who would stop me and say, “Hey, I saw you on the “Tonight” show. Huh… What’s Joey Bishop like?” Eventually I got over the embarrassment, but I never got those years back — years I spent waiting for some future event to make me happy. I had tricked myself into thinking, “As soon as I get there, I’ll be OK.”

I work in a business where almost everyone is waiting for the next big thing. Sometimes it comes, and sometimes it doesn’t. But it doesn’t matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping. So get out there and go for it, but don’t be caught waiting. It’s great to plan for your future. Just don’t live there, because really nothing ever happens in the future. Whatever happens happens now, so live your life where the action is — now. And one more thing: If you’re going to be on television, don’t call your friends and tell them to watch until after you’ve seen it.

#2: Don’t do anything that 30 years from now you’ll look back at and say, “Oh, my God, why the hell did I do that?!” I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard someone start a sentence with, “If only, when I was younger, I would have….” So I did a little informal survey for you, and I found out that, amazingly, all these people had the same regret. When they graduated from college, sadly, they bought furniture.

This probably needs a little explanation. Right at this moment in your life, you are in a unique position that you may never ever be in again. You have nothing to lose. Everything you have acquired of value is locked inside you. If you have a dream, now is the time to pursue it, before you buy furniture.

I was one of the lucky ones. I graduated from the University of Wisconsin with no employable skills, unless you count jury duty. It meant I had to start from scratch and figure out where I fit in. I didn’t have money, but I could afford to fail, and there were many failures. But I found out what I was good at. I found something I loved. And now I have furniture — lots of furniture.

#3: Mrs. Zubatsky’s law. One day when I was a kid, our house caught on fire in Milwaukee. A large section of the wood shingle roof was burning as the fire trucks pulled up. The firemen ran into the back yard with a large hose and began assembling their metal ladders and positioning them against the house.

Mrs. Zubatsky was our next door neighbor and, at the time, she was standing on her upstairs porch taking in the laundry. She watched anxiously as the firemen struggled with their ladders. Suddenly she leaned over the balcony and shouted down to the professional firefighters, “Forget the ladders! Just point the hose at the fire!” The firemen, to their credit, responded immediately. They dropped their ladders, pointed the hose at the fire and extinguished the blaze in about 40 seconds.

There are two morals to this story. One, never assume that just because it’s someone’s job, they know how to do it. And two, don’t let yourself be intimidated by professionals or their uniforms.

Growing up in Wisconsin, I never knew anyone in the movie business. I never even knew anyone who knew anyone in the movie business. That world had a mystique that made it seem unattainable to me. But, like Mrs. Zubatsky, I sat on my porch and I watched someone else do it, and I said, “I have a better idea.” And like her, I seized the moment.

If you have a better idea, if your plan makes more sense, if you have a vision, then put down your laundry and scream a little bit. Throw your hat into the ring and never let professionals or their uniforms prevent you from telling anyone where to point their hose.

#4: If you’re going to fail, fail big. If you don’t, you’re never going to make a difference. Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. Ask yourself one question: If I didn’t have to do it perfectly, what would I try? For many of you, the biggest obstacle to getting there will be a fear that you have carried with your since childhood — the fear of humiliation, of embarrassment, of ridicule. That is SO stupid! Oh … sorry. But really, you have to stop caring about that, which brings me to Travolta’s law.

My brother David and Jim Abrahams and I were having pie at Rumpelmeyer’s Coffee Shop in New York on the day after our third movie, “Top Secret,” opened. The reviews were terrible and it was bombing at the box office. We were really getting into some serious moping and self-flagellation when John Travolta walked in. We knew him from the Paramount lot and he could see right away that we were in a funk. We immediately poured out our heart to him, explaining the pain of our humiliating misfortune.

I’m not sure what we were expecting, but John just smiled and said, “Guys, the thing you have to remember is (that) nobody else is paying as much attention to your failures as you are. You’re the only ones who are obsessed with the importance of your own life. To everyone else, it’s just a blip on the radar screen, so just move on. By the way, are you going to finish that pie?”

I found that advice very liberating — that the only one who my big failure was truly big for was me. So I thanked him and told him how beautiful he looked today, and now when I fail big, I just go out and have a piece of apple pie and I move on. And I always save a little piece for John Travolta. Amazingly, more often than not he shows up to eat it.

#5: The next time you go into a restaurant, please don’t look at the waitress and say, “Can I getsome ketchup?” You’re supposed to say, “May I please have some ketchup?” Sorry — that doesn’t count. Just a personal pet peeve of mine.

The real #5: Don’t overuse the word “love.” Everyone overuses the word “love.” “I love your shoes.” “I just love the new Justin Guarini CD.” “I really love those little things they put on the chicken sandwiches at Subway.” In Hollywood, they say “Love ya, babe!” So, OK, I get it. It’s just the way people talk and it’s probably harmless, but you shouldn’t forget the real thing. The real thing is great. It’s just not so easy with actual human beings, but if you work at it and you get it right, it will make you happier than anything else you do in your life.

Think of the world as a big glass of water with some salt in it. You have a choice. You can try to pick out all the salt or you can keep pouring in more water so eventually it gets less bitter. As you begin your new journey, you can try to remove everything that you find distasteful in the world, or you can just pour in more love. It’s the only thing that the more you give away, the more you have.

So take all that warm, fuzzy stuff you’ve been hiding and spread it around a little. And then judge yourself not by your accomplishments, but by the happiness of the people around you. If you do that, you can do anything, you can go anywhere, you can fail at anything, and wherever you are, you will find a “there” there, because you’ll bring it with you.

I would like to conclude with a sad, but true, story from my childhood. When I was a young boy of only 7, it was decided that I should take piano lessons. This is a true story, by the way. I swear. I studied piano for three years and learned to play one song poorly, which actually turned out to be an improvement over high school. Nobody was willing to tell me that I had no musical talent whatsoever. Finally, after three years, I was invited by my piano teacher, Mr. Dillman, to play in a recital. I was told recently that Mr. Dillman twitched visibly when my name was mentioned at his funeral.

I can’t answer for others, but I was very excited that I was at last going to play my song in front of an audience. The day of the recital arrived. That morning, I got the chicken pox and, tragically, I never got to play my song. But today I’ve taken the liberty of bringing with me a small keyboard and, with your permission, I will finally get to play my song in front of an audience. I swear to you (that) this is the song that I learned to play after three years — the only song I know how to play on the piano. I think you will see that the lesson is patience. There comes a time for everything.

(Jerry played a flawed version of “On Wisconsin,” inviting the audience to sing along, and then concluded his remarks.)

Congratulations! Welcome to real life! You graduated from the University of Wisconsin! You can do anything! Thank you.

Hollywood producer & director Jerry Zucker earned a bachelor of science degree in radio, TV and film from the University of Wisconsin in 1972. Along with his brother David and friend Jim Abrahams, Zucker has been responsible for such comedy classics as “Ruthless People,” “Airplane” and “Kentucky Fried Movie,” as well as the television series “Police Squad.”

4、大卫·福斯特·华莱士（David Foster Wallace）小说家 2005年，肯尼恩学院
　　有两条小鱼一起游泳，有一天他们遇到了一条老鱼。
老鱼向他们点头，并说：“早上好，孩子们。水怎么样？”这两条小鱼继续往前游，其中一条小鱼实在忍不住了，问另一条小鱼：“水是什么东西？”
　　……
　　简单的意识，对我们生活中如此真实、如此必不可少、无处不在、无时不在的事物的意识，需要我们一遍一遍地提醒自己：
　　“这是水。
”
　“这是水。”
　　在一天又一天的成人世界中做到这点，保持意识清醒而鲜活，是不可想象的难。

正文：

欢迎并恭喜2005年毕业班的同学。

两条小鱼在水里游，恰好遇到一条老鱼迎面游过来。老鱼对他们点头致意，然后说：”小朋友早！水怎么样啊？”

小鱼继续游。游了一会儿，其中一条终于忍不住，看着它的同伴说：“水是什么东西？“

这是标准的毕业演讲要求：要使用几个教化人心的寓言体小故事。

和那些喜欢瞎扯的文学比起来，这个故事的手法还不错。但如果你们担心，我今天会当那条睿智的老鱼，来向你们这些小鱼解释水为何物，那大可不必。我不是睿智的老鱼。

这个故事的重点只有一个：显而易见，且至关重要的事实，通常难以察觉，无法言说。

如果通过文字来表达，这段话就显得很平庸。但事实上，对日常生活即战场的成年人来说，这段平庸的文字，却有着关乎生与死的力量。因此，在这样一个清爽宜人的早晨，我希望能为你们指出这一点。

当然，类似这种演讲的主要目的，应该是由我来告诉你们，人文教育的意义何在；应该由我来试着解释，为什么你们即将被授与的学位，有其真正的人文价值，而非只是物质上的回报。

所以，来聊聊毕业演讲中最常出现的陈词旧调。人文教育的目的，与其说是用知识填满你们，不如说是教会你们如何思考。

如果你们像学生时代的我一样，一定不会想听这种话。说不定还会觉得有点被侮辱，竟然说你们需要人教，才能知道如何思考？毕竟能被这么优秀的大学录取，就足以证明你们已经懂得如何思考。

但我要指出，人文教育里的陈词旧调一点也不侮辱人。因为像这样一个如此重要的思考教育，并非关于思考的能力，而是关于思考内容的选择。

如果你们觉得，讨论你们原本就能够自主选择的思考内容，显然是在浪费时间，那么请想一下鱼和水，请将这个显而易见的事物究竟有何价值的疑虑，暂时地搁置一边。

还有另外一个教化人心的小故事：

在荒蛮的阿拉斯加郊区，两个男人并肩坐在酒吧里。其中一个信仰虔诚，另一个则是无神论者。两人因为上帝是否存在而发生激辩。酒过三巡，气氛格外热烈。

无神论者说：“听我说，其实我不是毫无根据就否定神，我也不是没经历过那些奇迹和祈祷之类的事。就在上个月，我被一场可怕的暴风雪困住，完全搞不清方向，什么也看不见，当时的气温是零下五十度。

所以我就试了，我跪在雪地，大声呼喊：“上帝啊！如果你真的存在，我被暴风雪困住了，如果你不帮忙，我就会死啊！”

听到这，信仰者一脸纳闷地看着无神论者：“那你现在应该是信了神啊！毕竟你好好地活下来了啊！”

无神论者双眼一翻，继续说到：“才不是呢！是因为刚巧有几个爱斯基摩人经过，他们告诉了我要怎么回营区。”

如果用所谓的人文教育的标准去分析这个故事，其实相当简单：两个人的经历即使完全相同，也有可能产生两种完全不同的认知。

这是因为，他们各自信奉的思考模式不同，根据各自经历来构建认知的方式也不同。

因为我们推崇，要对不同的信奉模式，要对多样性，采取宽容的态度，所以人文教育不会要求我们去分析哪一种诠释为真，哪一种诠释为缪。

这样也很好，只不过我们从未讨论，这些来自个人的不一样的思考模式，究竟来自何处？也就是说，在他们的内心深处，这些不同，究竟来自何处？

我们每个人对这世界的基本态度，以及如何看待自己的经历，仿佛是天生注定，就像身高，鞋子的尺寸那样。

或者说，这和语言一样，是一种吸收母体文化的自然产物。仿佛我们构建意义的方式，并不是出于个人有意识的选择，而是本就该如此。

此外，傲慢也是一个很重要的因素。这个没有信仰的家伙完全笃定，经过的爱斯基摩人，跟他祈求帮助这件事完全地没有任何关联。

话又说回来，许多有信仰的人也很傲慢，坚信着他们自己对事物的解读与诠释。对我们大多数人来说，他们甚至都有可能比那些无神论者更加地让人讨厌，

但宗教教条主义者们所面临的问题，其实和故事中那位不信神的人完全一样：毫不质疑，盲目深信；思想的封闭程度近乎自闭，甚至都意识不到自己已被囚禁。

怎么才算真正地教会思考？其中的一部分真意是：稍微地，将姿态放低一点；稍微地，对自我，对百分百的确信，进行一下质疑。

那些不加思索就让我轻信的事，到后来发现，它们很多都错得离谱，让我深受其骗。我吃了不少苦头才学到这个教训。我想你们毕业后，估计也会遭遇类似经历。

接下来要说的，就是一个例子，错得离谱，但我不加思索就信了，而且我的所有经历，都在支撑我的这种深信。

这个错误就是：“所有一切，都应以我为中心；宇宙万物中，就数我最真实，我最生动，我最重要。”

我们很少去思考这种与生俱来的自我中心观，因为这会让人反感。但几乎我们每人都这样，这是我们的一个默认设置，从我们一出生起，就被写入大脑。

想想看，过去所有的经验都在告诉你：你才是世界的中心。你所经历的世界，就在你的眼前，身后，左右；就在你看的电视，你看的荧屏上......

别人的想法，感觉，会通过某种方式传递给你，但即使这样，只有来自你自己的想法，感觉，才更直接，更迫切，更真实。

请不要担心，我不会开始训诫你们何谓同理心，为他人想，或者所谓的美德。

这也无关美德，而是一种选择。试着以某种方式，改变或者跳脱自有的天性。这种天性，这种已经默认好的设置，深深地以自我为中心，用一种叫做自我的滤镜，来诠释一切。

那些可以做到调整自我中心预设的人，通常被称之为“适应力高超”。你们要知道，这种描述并非只是随口一说。

就以这所校史显赫的学院为例，一个显而易见的问题是：在调整这种以自我为中心的默认设置的过程中，究竟有多少内容，需要我们用到实际的知识，或者智力呢？

这个问题不好回答。而且很有可能就是学术教育中的最危险一环——至少我的个人体会是这样——学术教育，让我有了一种过度理智的倾向，让我沉浸于各种抽象辩证，而忽略了近在眼前的各种发生，忽略了由外向内地去看自己。

我想你们已经意识到，保持警醒与关注，比用滔滔不绝的内心独白来催眠自己（说不定你们此刻就是如此），要困难得多。

毕业二十年，我逐渐体会到，使我学会如何思考的，看似是陈词旧调式的人文教育，其实是萃取智慧后的吉光片羽，是更为深刻，更为严肃的思想：

学习如何思考，其实就是在锻练，对思考什么，对怎样思考，去做有意识地控制与引导。

你得拥有足够清醒的意识力，能够选择自己的关注所在，能够决定通过怎样的方式，对自己的经历进行解读。

当你们进入成人阶段，如果还无法运用这种有意识的控制能力，你们会被暴虐的。

想想那句老话：心智，是优秀的仆人，糟糕的主人。

这话像许多陈腔滥调那样，从表面看，没有说服力，苍白又无趣。但实则却说出了一个伟大且可怕的事实。

比如，几乎每个开枪自杀的人，都会选择自己的脑袋，而这绝非巧合。因为他们要打死的，是那个糟糕的主人。事实上，在扣下板机之前，大部份的自杀者，早已死去。

在去掉华而不实的部份后，我认为人文教育真正的价值应该是：在经历舒适富足，受人尊敬的成年生活时，如何不流于行尸走肉，毫无意识；如何不被大脑奴役，不被自我中心奴役；不会因为认为自己是完完全全独一无二的主宰，而不幸陷入日复一日，年复一年的循环往复中。

这些听起来或许夸张，好像在瞎扯一些抽象的道理。

那我们来说点具体的。摆在眼前的事实是，你们这些毕业生，到现在为止，对【日复一日】的真正意义还不是很了解。但这刚好就是大多数美国成年人的生活写照，一般的毕业演讲也不会和你们说这些。

它包含了无趣，一成不变的日常，以及散乱琐碎的挫败。在场的父母，以及年纪稍长的人，都很清楚我在说什么。

举个例子，就拿一个成年人的一天作息来说明。

早上起床，迎接那份需要大学学历，且富有挑战的白领工作。你辛苦工作八到十小时，一日将尽时，身心疲惫，压力莫名。只想回家好好吃顿饭，然后把自己放空半把个小时。之后早早上床，因为明天起床后，这一切一切，还得重来。

但此时，你想到家里没有吃的了。做着这样一份处处挑战的工作，你已经一个星期都没空出时间进行采购。所以一下班，你就得把自己塞进车里，开去超市。

下班高峰，交通堵到爆，路上花的时间远远超预期。当你终于抵达，超市却人满为患。因为当然啦，所有上班族都想趁着这个时间，挤进超市，采购生活用品。

超市里的照明亮得可怕，充斥着闷人的背景音乐，偶像团体的流行歌曲。可以说，此刻你最不想待的地方，就是这。

但你却无法速战速决：在这巨大的，灯光刺眼的商店里，为了找到自己想要的物品，你得在一条条拥挤的过道上来回穿梭。你还得指挥眼前的这辆破推车，在同样推着购物车，满脸倦容，行色匆匆的人群中，迂回前进。

人群中，有面色冷淡的老者，嗑药迷幻的顾客，还有精力过于充沛的顽童，他们堵在过道，你不得不咬紧牙关，竭力保持风度，请他们让你过去。

终于，晚餐的材料凑齐了。你发现，虽然正值下班的高峰时段，开放结帐的柜台却不够多，所以结帐的队伍长到不可思议。

这种破事真是让人火大，但你又不能将自己的挫败，发泄在那位因为负责结帐而忙到发疯的女士身上。

她超时工作，而且这份工作的单调程度，并不是你们这些名校的毕业生们所能想象到。

无论如何，你终于排到了柜台前。你付了钱，听到一句"祝您今天愉快”，说话的语气却是死气沉沉，听起来好丧。

你推着购物车，载着那些薄薄的看起来有些诡异的塑料购物袋；推车的一个轮子也像发了疯似地，总是往左偏。

你费力地，一颠一簸地，穿过拥挤杂乱的停车场。你开车回家，道路继续拥堵，你加入了缓慢笨拙的车潮中......

在场的每个人应该都有过这种经历，但它还没成为你们这些毕业生日常生活的一部分，日复一日，年复一年，周而复始。

但这是迟早的事，而且除此外，你们还会遇到更多的例行琐碎，枯燥乏味，让人讨厌，看起来毫无意义。

但这不是重点。重点是，当这些琐碎又让人挫败的事情发生时，正是发挥出你的决择能力的绝好时刻。

塞车，拥挤的走道，以及排成长龙的结帐队伍，都会让我有时间思考。如果没有足够的自我觉察，对自己的思考方式以及关注目标，做到有意识地控制与引导，那么之后的每次购物，我都会很生气，很痛苦。

因为我自有的默认设置，我会认定这种情况都是冲我而来。因为我饥肠辘辘，因为我疲惫不堪，因为我归心似箭，所以看起来就好像，整个世界，所有所有人，都在此时此刻，挡在我面前。

那些挡路的人是谁？几乎每个都面目可憎，相貌愚蠢，笨得跟牛一样，还有一双死鱼眼。排队结帐也没个人样，有些还特没品，大声讲着手机不懂得克制音量。看看，看看，这些对我个人来说，是多大的不公平！

如果我自己的默认设置，更具社会意识与人文素养，那么我会在黄昏的车阵中花上一点时间，对所有巨大的，笨重的，又特别碍事的休旅车，悍马车，以及十二汽缸卡车，心生厌恶。它们自私又浪费，正在消耗着油箱里的四十加仑油。

我可以详尽地说出一个我自以为真的事实：那些保险杆上的爱国标语，宗教箴言，总是贴在最大，最自私，最令人厌恶的汽车上，由最丑陋，最不体谅人，最好斗的司机驾驶着。

我也能想像到我们的子孙后代会如何鄙视我们，因为我们正在浪费未来的石油，或许把气候也给搞坏了！

我们如此地娇纵，愚笨，自私，可憎。这个现代的以消费为主的社会，实在是太糟太烂了！......类似的想法，还可以说上很多很多，你们懂我意思。

在商店，在高速公路，如果我选择像刚才说的那样想，无可厚非，毕竟我们很多人都会这么做。不过这种思维方式很容易自动产生，以至于我甚至连选都不用选。这是我的先天预设，已经默认好的设置。

当我的思考处于自动模式，而无法察觉我已将自己放在世界的中心时，顺理成章地，我就会去经历成年生活中的无趣，挫败，拥挤。我自己的当下需求与感受，决定了这个世界的轻重缓急。

我想说的是，遇到这些状况时，我们可以采取完全不同的思考方式。

当身处车阵，当所有车子都好像停下来挡住了我的去路时，这些开着大型休旅车的人，或许有的曾经遭遇过可怕的交通事故，觉得开车很恐怖，以至于他们的心理治疗师都要求他们去弄一辆又大又重的车，从而保证足够的安全感。这种情况不是不可能。

或者刚刚超我车的那辆悍马，说不定就是由一位父亲驾驶，坐在他旁边的小孩受伤了，生病了，他想赶快带着孩子去医院。他的理由要比我的正当且迫切得多。事实上，其实是我，在挡他的路。

或者我也可以选择强迫自己，去考虑一种可能：结帐队伍中的每个人都跟我一样，厌烦，挫败。其中有些人的生活，说不定比我的更艰难，更无趣，更痛苦。

我要再说一次，请不要认为我在对你们进行道德劝戒，告诉你们应当这样这样去思考，或者期望你们可以自发地这么做。

因为这很难，需要意志力，需要努力。如果你们跟我一样，有一天也会感到力不从心，或是干脆就选择放弃。

然而大部分的日子里，如果你们的清醒程度可以帮助你们做出选择，你们就可以做到，从另外一个角度，去看结帐队伍中的那位胖女人。

她两眼呆滞，浓妆艳抹，对着自己的小孩大声吼叫。也许她平常不是这样，也许她为了陪伴自己骨癌末期的丈夫，一直握着他的手，已经连续三晚没有睡。

又或者这位女士就是汽车监理所的基层员工，昨天刚刚发挥了公务人员的一点善举，顺手帮助你的爱人解决了一些令人火大又讨怒的繁文缛节。

当然，这些看起来好像都不太像，但也不是没可能。这取决于你们自己想要怎么看。

如果你们不加思索地就认为自己知道真相，如果你们一直遵循已有的默认设置，那么你们会和我一样，不太会去考虑说，事情本身也许还有其他可能，也许并不恼人，并不痛苦。

如果你们真的学会如何控制思考方向，就会发现还有其他情境可以选，而这会成为你们内在的真正力量。

即使身处拥挤，闷热，迟钝，给你带来极大痛苦的场景中，也能感受到其中的意义与神圣，感受到烈火燃烧中，繁星得以诞生的力量：爱，义，宇宙万物皆为一，内在深处的神秘。

不是说神秘事物必为真理。事实上，独一无二的真理是，你们要去决定，将以何种角度去看这身边万物。

这才是真正的教育，真正地学会如何高度适应，所能孕育出的心灵自由。

你们能够有意识地去选择，什么有意义，什么只为虚。你们能够决定，什么才是自己的崇拜与追寻。

有些事情看似诡异却是事实：在成年人的日常战场上，其实没有所谓的无神论者。没有人不崇拜某种事物，我们每个人都崇拜。

我们唯一能够选择的，是崇拜的对象。

我们之所以选择某个神祇，某种心灵皈依，不论是耶稣基督，阿拉，耶和华，现代巫术的母神，佛教的四圣谛，抑或某种神圣不容质疑的道德准则，那是因为，若是做了其他选择，我们的生命，也就差不多都会被其吞噬掉。

如果崇拜金钱与物质，认为这些才是生命的意义，那么你们所得的，将会永远不够，你们也将永远都不会感到足够。

事实就是如此。如果崇拜身体，美貌，性魅力，永远都会自觉丑陋。当岁月的痕迹开始浮现，即使生命并未终结，也将死过千百回。

道理我们多少都懂。这个道理也被编入神话，谚语，陈词，警句，寓言中，是所有伟大故事的基本框架。

这其中的诀窍只有一个：通过日常的意识觉察，从而意识到，真相在前，而非已知。

崇拜权力，会使自己感到虚弱，害怕，因此便会追求更多权力，以求凌驾他人，好能麻痹自己的内心恐惧。

崇拜自己的智识，希望被视为一个聪明的人，最后会觉得自己其实是个愚蠢的骗子，永远处于害怕事迹败露的恐惧中。

这些隐隐而生的崇拜模式，并非本质邪恶，或者罪不可赦，而是因为，它们是无意识的反应，是我们对自己的默认设置。

这些崇拜之心会让人逐渐沉沦，日复一日，在毫无意识，并不自知的情况下，对自己的所见所闻，对自己的评价标准，逐渐有了越来越多的片面选择。

这个所谓的真实世界，并不会阻挡你们去遵循自己的默认设置。因为这个由人，财富，权力所组成的世界，正愉悦地浸泡在恐惧，愤怒，挫败，欲望，以及自我崇拜的染缸中。

我们当前的文化，又推崇了这样一种趋势的产生，以求带来惊人的财富，舒适的生活，还有个体的自由。

然而，能够自由掌控这颗头颅大小的王国，才是万事万物的中心，才是值得我们去极力推崇的自由。

自由有很多种，可以控制自己头脑意识的自由，才是最最重要的。只不过在这样一个充满欲望与企图的大千世界中，我们很少听到它，说起它。

这种自由非常重要。它需要注意力，觉察力，自制力；需要在每天的日常中，在各种细微琐碎中，用不那么惊天动地的方式，对他人的经历，想法，做上自己的思考，并能保持，在思考后，做出一个平衡选择。

这才是真正的自由，这才是何谓接受教育，何谓懂得如何思考。否则则会进入没有意识的默认设置，本能反应。在激烈的且毫无意义的竞争中，在得与失的无限循环往复中，一直地，痛苦着。

我知道我的这些话，大概既无聊又沉闷，不像你们对一个毕业演讲所有的预期，发人深省，引人深思。

我想说的是，在我已知的范围内，这是褪去了所有华美修辞，独一无二的真理。当然，你们可以用自己的角度去诠释。

但请不要把它看成是一场摇摇手指就好了的布道大会，而对它毫不在意。我说的这些，无关道德，无关宗教，信仰，教条，也无关死后世界的各种疑问与探寻。

我说的这些，关于我们人的这一生在世。

关于教育的真正价值，不是知识，而是意识的觉察。对事物的本真进行觉察，对隐于我们身边的平凡无奇进行觉察。

简单的意识，对我们生活中如此真实、如此必不可少、无处不在、无时不在的事物的意识，需要我们一遍一遍地提醒自己：

“这是水。”

“这是水。”

在一天又一天的成人世界中做到这点，保持意识清醒而鲜活，是不可想象地难。

这刚好验证了另一句老话：

活到老，学到老。开始于现在，终其这一生。

.....

最后，祝你们拥有的，不止是运气。

## 5、约翰·沃尔什（John Walsh）作家和艺术历史学家 2000年，惠顿神学院

一次做一件事情，给你每一次经历全部的注意力。努力抵抗被别的声色之物和其他想法、任务分心。一旦分心了，引导你的内心重新回到你做的事情上。

我不是在反对学习多个学科的众多知识，鉴赏力真的很有用。我所警告的是分心与干扰，无论是你主动招惹的，还是被动发生的，就像我一生所做的那样。在棒球场上，得分高的击球员对此有更深体会：他们谈的是“专注”，他们把它看得跟力量一样重要。
在心理学家的描述中，高技能的攀岩者、网球运动员、钢琴家已经超越了专注，达到了他们所称的经验之“流”，那是一种跟岩石、网球或音乐融为一体的感觉，“我vs。它”已然消失，跟任务合二为一，给人以更高水平的愉悦体验，而不仅仅是成功地完成了任务。我有这种体验，虽然很少，但来得还不算迟，或许你也有这种体验。
这是最高形式的快乐。如果你一次专注于做一件事情，你就会有更多这样的体验。
　　
全文：

8 Things I Wish I Have Been Told At My Commencement

Chairman Beard, President Marshall, President Shaw, Trustees, faculty members, parents and friends, alumnae/i reunion classes (especially the unsurpassed Class of 1960): thank you for giving me a great honor as well as the chance to be part of this wonderful day at Wheaton.
My impressions of Wheaton were formed while I was busy forming impressions of the president of the Class of 1960, Jill Galston, whom I was dating in her freshman year. To some extent, both sets of impressions fused together in my mind. Jill was the only girl in my experience who, saying goodnight after our first couple of dates, each time gave me a firm handshake. I attributed something of her sturdy confidence to Wheaton. It was clear that this was a person, and perhaps a college, that expected you to earn what you got, and where it wouldn't come easily! Later she introduced me to two teachers who changed her life: Mary Heuser, who gave her a lifelong interest in art, and Clinton McCoy, who introduced her to the invertebrates of a noxious little pond outside town and made her a biologist. Both teachers were plain-spoken, warm, and best of all, demanding. I have always taken their qualities to be Wheaton College's qualities. Candidates for degrees of the Class of 2000: it's my task as commencement speaker to delay your achieving what you came here for. The idea is that the delay is supposed to be worth it, that in your last hour of college life I can make you better equipped to lead the rest of your lives. Never mind that most of you have parents ready to supply you with advice for as long as there is breath in their bodies, or yours. I, a perfect stranger, am supposed to reveal to you some deep general truths about the world that have so far remained hidden from you. Here is my problem: I have no taste for generalizations, and in the course of my work I may actually have lost all capacity for abstract thought. I've spent my career on specifics, on works of art - grappling with them, buying them, putting buildings around them, exhibiting them to the public, all the while trying to wring sense out of them in all their vivid individuality. I comfort myself with the words of the artist and poet William Blake: "To generalize is to be an Idiot. To particularize is alone Distinction of Merit. General knowledge are those knowledge that idiots possess." If I'm going to do you any good at all this morning, I'd best be specific. Forty years ago in New Haven at my commencement we may have had a speaker, but honestly, I forget. If we did, he or she must have generalized a lot. I have been musing on what I wish I had been told that day, on the advice I needed then and for most of my life afterward. Practical, specific stuff, things Blake might have told us. I idly made a list, and soon I had written the speech I never heard. I might have ignored the advice, of course and so may you. Nevertheless, here are eight things I wish I'd been told at my commencement.

1. Put the alarm clock in the bathroom.
   (And keep the door open,) This can be ignored by those of you whose irrepressible need to get going in the morning make it unnecessary. Others - I promise! - will find it the most important thing I have to say this afternoon.

2. Do one thing at a time.
   Give each experience all your attention.Try to resist being distracted by other sights and sounds, other thoughts and tasks, and when it is, guide your mind back to what you're doing.
   Longo before we taught "multi-tasking" to machines, I was brought up with some crude prototype Windows software in my head. I usually ran several programs at once, clicking back and forth, and always looking for a pull-down menu of new distractions. What's more, I thought that virtuosity would be a social advantage to me - the ability to impress people by doing a lot of things at once, none of them very well. And there were a lot of things: in high school I thought I'd be admired for switching effortlessly from Calypso lyrics to baseball statistics, to Latin, to brands of single malt whiskey. In graduate school I met my ideal in life when I studied the career of the Flemish painter Peter Paul Roberts, who was described by a Danish man who visited Rubens at work in his studio in the 1630s in Antwerp:

"While he was still painting, [Rubens] was having Tacitus read aloud to him, and was dictating a letter. When [we were] silent so we wouldn't disturb him, he began to talk to us, while continuing to paint, listening to the reading, and dictating his letter, answering our questions and thus displaying his astonishing powers."

A few geniuses can succeed this way; most of us can't and shouldn't try. I'm not warning against learning many things on many subjects, and virtuosity can indeed be useful. My warning is against distraction, whether you invite it or just let it happen, as I've done all my life. In baseball, high-percentage hitters know better: it's "focus" they talk about, and they prize it as much as strength. Psychologists describe skilled rockclimbers and tennis players and pianists as going beyond focus, to what they have called a "flow" experience, a sense of absorption with the rock or the ball or the music in which the "me versus it" disappears and there's a kind of oneness with the task that brings a joyful higher awareness, as well as successful performance. I've had these experiences, too little but not too late, and probably you have, too. They are a supreme kind of pleasure. You will have more of them if you do one thing at a time.

3. Spend more time listening.
   Lawyers have a saying about conferences between legal opponents: "The side doing the talking is losing," For the longest time I thought that the test of my value was what I had to say. When I wasn't talking, I did listen to others, but with half my mind figuring out what I'd say next. It's as though I had been listening to music and just registering the melody but not hearing the harmony, the instruments, the subtleties of phrasing. To really listen takes active attention. To have listened and absorbed the whole message, with all its connotations, its unspoken and maybe unintended shadings, makes it likelier that when you do speak, you will contribute more, and do so with fewer words.
   Lest this sound like a lesson in tactics, let me say that it's not just other people to whom you might listen more attentively, Try it on yourself. Pay attention not just to your voice, but also to your unvoiced sensations, your pleasure, your anger, your unease, your unspoken but genuine sense of things. (Here I should admit that if I'd gotten this advice at my New England commencement I'd have written it off as pure California.) It took me years to learn to pay attention to my complex reactions to situations, which were often so different from the friendly, constructive attitudes I thought I should have, and pretended to have. I've learned that if I didn't attend honestly to my own state of mind, I couldn't pay honest attention to others. I couldn't give empathetic help to others, or get it, either. So spend more time listening to yourself as well as others.

4. Make yourself clear.
   This is risky. To say clearly what you think is to risk being more clearly wrong. To fudge what you think - to qualify it, complicate it, overload it - is usually a defensive move. It's a strategy for getting partial credit: you figure you may be wrong but at least you're clever, you're eloquent... and maybe not that far wrong.
   I work in a field - art history - that is rich in adjectives, poor in provable statements, just right for somebody who hides from clarity behind vivid, entertaining language. The best antidote I ever heard prescribed to writers came from the art historian Howard Hibbard, who told us students what to do when we'd written a sentence: "Take your favorite word and strike it out." Hibbard meant that often we put the word there not for clarity but for vanity. Now that I've been spending most of my time as a manager, by the way, clarity has become a necessity, and my best friend. It saves my time and other people's. As to the risk of clarity I mentioned just now, that's mostly imaginary; after all, I do still have my job.

5. You educate yourself.
   From now on, you had better put yourself in charge of your own education, if you haven't already, You may have to buck the system. American graduate education is a lot more clearly structured and scheduled than its British and European models. The menu and the timetable are there in the catalogue: take your choice of degree programs, sign up, take the courses, pass the exams, write the thesis, and out you come - certified - a doctor, lawyer, art historian, computer scientist, philosopher. Along the way, most graduate programs confine you to the professional cultures you are preparing to enter. In medicine and law, don't expect to be taught much about the minds and spirits of the people you are preparing to serve. In the humanities and social sciences, everything will conspire to keep you close to the library and the computer, and away from the real subject of your study, whether it's Renaissance paintings, or the Balkans, or family farmers.
   Here is an example. During, the past generation art history has been preoccupied with questions of art theory and the social and economic and political contexts of art, which can be answered from illustrations in books. This has made the field richer intellectually, but it's excused faculty members and graduate students from going to real works of art in the original and dealing with them, looking hard and long, trying to grasp their peculiar way of communicating, enjoying their pleasures, appreciating how they elude simple classification and undermine theories. Learning art history without looking at art in the original is like learning about Shakespeare and Ibsen by reading plays and never going to the theater. Our graduate schools produce a lot of half-baked bread in the interest of getting it on the shelf quicker. Don't let the weaknesses of the system become weaknesses of your own. Look critically at what you're asked to learn and how. If it's too little, and too confined to the campus, then swallow the need to stretch out the time you spend, take courses not on the prescribed menu, and travel. In the humanities, nothing substitutes for travel abroad, though it takes time, money and the courage to risk being thought un-serious by the faculty, by your family and maybe by yourself. Parents, listen. You may have to subsidize even more education than you imagined, and it won't all took like work. But it's in a good cause.

6. Learn to draw. Or to play the cello. Or to tap dance,
   Something impractical, even useless. Whatever it is, it ought to be hard for you, something you haven't really got time for, and that by professional standards you probably won't ever do well. I recommend drawing because when you get it right, maybe only once in a while, you will have such amazing waves of surprise and joy. And I promise that you'll have always be able to draw on a personal insight, a visceral empathy, with centuries of artists and their struggles to get it right.

7. Keep a journal.
   For a lot of people this is harder than tap dancing. Knowing you're going to write something every day sharpens your attention to everything that happens, With a journal, you have this companion you're going to point things out to, so you stockpile impressions and passing thoughts, or, if you have a fitful memory like mine, you jot down notes to yourself It's good to begin with modest expectations - a spiral notebook from the drugstore, not a leatherbound diary with little red ribbon. Limit the time you spend at it, but do it every day. When you fail, start again. And again. For the longest time, I didn't keep a journal, and as a result much of my pretty long and interesting life is lost to me. That's a waste, one that you needn't let happen to you.

8. You will be more like your parents than you imagine, or want to be.
   One morning at the age of 45, I looked in the mirror to shave and there was my father looking back at me. Around the same time my kids started noticing that I was sounding like my mother, and even now Jill helpfully points out that when conversation gets tedious or embarrassing, I tend to leave the room -just like my mother. Now I notice I've got Dad's speech mannerisms and his walk, and my closet has his smells. My parents are both dead now, and there are days when I feel that I'm not just like my parents, I am my parents. Something like this will happen to you, but it needn't creep up on you and surprise you. Many of your parents have made sacrifices to give you the chance to be different from them, including send you to Wheaton, and of course you may be even more different as time passes. At some point, though, you will discover your similarities, count on it. To sharpen the irony, the qualities in your parents that annoy you today are likely to be exactly the ones that, later on, your kids will point out in you. So, until then, try giving your parents a break and have a sense of humor about all their qualities.
   Dear almost-graduates: this is more than enough advice. You need to reflect on your own feelings, your own desires. The world badly wants your brains and energy: give them freely, but try to stay conscious of what it is you're giving of yourself and why. Meanwhile, celebrate your success at Wheaton and bask in the pride we all feel for you this morning.

Read the full commencement address (link no longer available as of 8/11/10): http://www.wheatoncollege.edu/cr/2000/keynote.html»

Wheaton College
Norton, MA
2000