Dear 20-year-old me,
Much to your disappointment and shock, you ended up in a small West Yorkshire town instead of your dream city in California or New York, despite plenty preparation of your TOEFL test and all relevant reading for moving to the States. But darling, with the help of university partnerships and your extremely supportive mentor Ann, you will soon find out that these upcoming three years in Britain are going to be the best years of your life.
I hope that you appreciate the opportunity you hold in your hands---living independently in a foreign country in your 20s and exploring the western lifestyle. It is the very time when world views and the sense of value are forming in your mind. First things first, drop your obsessive assumption of the perfect BBC English accent, because it’s just not quite true in the North of England, your first stop in Britain. Just like all international students in a foreign situation, cultural shock, isolation and alienation are unavoidable. During the subjective loneliness, how would you ever know that you would make some awesome Lithuanian friends on a Halloween Party just a few months later, and they will definitely bring laughter and excitement to your life. Soon after that you will find you own tribe too.
Let me tell you about some great parts of the three years ahead. It’s really nice to embrace people from different cultural backgrounds; you are going to find the differences within their identity truly fascinating. Whenever interacting with them, the curiosity about their birth place will gradually increase and lead you to travel to those places to get a first-hand experience of the local community and people. Even now, the older you still stares at a mysterious globe and wonders about the places you never been to. The quote “before it’s your favorite place, it is a place you have never been” will become deeply embedded into your heart. Therefore, your passion for travelling and desire to explore more leads you to take on several trips to nine countries. Looking back, it was really helpful in terms of shaping your character as you discover more of your true self on the road. A few months before 2017, you took on a very adventurous trip to Stockholm on your own, for that, I salute you and just want to say that small act of bravery has made me proud <3
You will start to pay a lot of attention to women’s power and rights as you become a long-time loyal listener to “women’s hour” podcast and you are thoroughly moved by Emma Watson’s speech at the United Union and the campaign she launched to help women lean in. In fact, you will admire many great women as your role model in all sorts of professional industries, Selena Gomez, Rosie Huntington Whiteley, Alicia Vikander, Michelle Dockery, to name a few.
As for the academic part, you will be given very different forms of assignment - individual essays, group papers and class presentations etc. You will find these challenging but also fulfilling. Especially when you chose to continue post-graduate study, you will be grateful for the hard work and effort you have put in, since you know the system a lot better than other international freshers. Also, having been living in both of the north and south part of England for a while, you rather know the place quite well than others. More importantly, you will acquire the knowledge of critical thinking, work ethic and the importance of references, a significant factor that has been unfortunately left out and somehow belittled in your home country.
Since your daily diet is completely disorganized and not provided by others, you have to learn to cook and you will also discover that fish and chips are not your best preferred choice. I’m afraid you’ll miss your mom’s flavors and only manage the basics after burning a pot and several minor accidents. Eventually, you’ll reach the conclusion that: Italian is quick to learn, Mexican is surprisingly tasty and French is never meant to be within your capability, aka better dine out for that.
In terms of the cultural integration, you will also start to notice the story behind Christmas and explore your understanding of Christianity with the help of some of your lovely church friends; they will be so kind to take you out for great activities and fun trips, including the annual gathering “Word Alive” in north Wales. They are all going to make you think about world from another perspective and humbly believe the power of faith.
And honey you are in your 20s, a very beautiful age, so you know you might as well fall into several relationships with local boys. Try to learn how to love and how to care for people, also always be honest and open with each other, it meant a lot when you acknowledge their words. You will realize the privilege when somebody wants to support you that much and believe you deserve the absolute best. Love comes in many ways.
In one way or another, you will open Pandora’s Box and therefore you might have to accept all levels of critiques. Sometimes you will get lost and feel badly nostalgic, particularly when things don’t go well or you run into people who are tough to get along with. It really hurts, I know, but I want you to know it is okay to miss your sweet home as long as you find a way to pull yourself up together later. It will actually make you respect your parents more, reflecting on the things/love you used to take for granted. Still, they will be the most supportive parents, and will always be there to talk whenever you need it, for that you should be forever grateful. At some point, you will probably learn how to go to bed each night, at peace with yourself.
Now the older you is about to embark on a career, a good platform to shine and make a difference. It is the first ring on the ladder, as you climb ever higher. I hope that you learn the discipline, be more respectful and always eager to learn and grow. Since you know, a girl can always dream.
Signed and regards,
Your 23-year-old self
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