男人最明智的遗书

今天我想到如何给男人们建议写遗书了，尤其是比老婆年纪大的老男人们一定要看哟。否则吃亏了还不知道为什么？

My honey, the house  I bought before I married you belongs to me for ever. No matter how many years you have been with me, and no matter how many years you will be with me, I do not care. You do not make day-dream to make bargain with me! The house we bought after marriage, only half  belongs to you according to Laws. All the money we saved after marriage, only half belongs to you, too. I'm fair enough and kind enough, or I will give you a big egg. You should be thankful to what I did  for you.

So here my will is: the whole house that I bought before marriage, and half of the house we are living in now, plus half money we save will be donated to... let me think,  if I can find somebody in my life even a little better than you. Sucks, I can't find anyone. Maybe I can donate to my kid,wait...my kid belongs to you, too. If I donate to my kid, that means  all will belongs to you at last. I hate this result... Let me think harder...  I found one...haha..haha. Can you imagine whom I'm going to donate to?  I'm smart. It is the dog, even I do not really like dogs. I think my marriage life with you for years is worse that living with a dog. Honey, so sorry,  I must donate all my belongs to the dogs.

However, my honey,  don't forget the last thing: after my lawyer donated all my belongs to the dogs according to my will , you do not forget to donate me to the dogs, too. I do not want you to have me either!!

翻译如下：

亲爱的，我们婚前购买的房产永远属于我，不管你与我结婚多少年，也不管你以后还想与我在一起多少年，我不在乎。为此你就不要做白日梦想和我讨价还价了。依照法律婚后购买的房子只有一半属于你，我们婚后存的钱也只有一半属于你。我足够公平和善良了吧，你应该感谢我为你所做的一切。为此遗嘱如下：婚前所有房产，婚后房产的一半，婚后存款的一半，我准备捐给。。。让我想一下，是否还有哪怕比你对我好一点点的人。惨了，想不出来。兴许我可以把财产捐给我的孩子，等一下，想起来了，孩子也是你的呢，岂不是最后所有财产又都落到你手中了吗？我讨厌这种结果。让我再使劲想想。。。哇，好幸运，我想到了，你能猜猜我会捐给谁吗？我好聪明哟，就是捐给狗狗。因为与你多年的婚姻生活比和狗生活在一起还不如。亲爱的，很对不起，我必须把属于我的一切捐给狗狗。然后，亲爱的，不要忘记最后一件事情，那就是我的律师依照我的遗嘱把属于我的财产捐给狗狗后，你可不要忘记把我也捐给狗狗哈，我可不想你拥有我。

这样的遗嘱大快人心！！女人就不要做梦了哈！！