家长如何向孩子解释生死？
清明扫墓，若孩子问起有关生死的问题，我们该如何解释呢？
解释孩子对有关死亡的各种疑问，引导他们树立积极正面的生死观，是家长无法逃避的责任之一。一个人，面对死亡命题的态度，也决定了他如何选择和对待生命。
今天，向各位父母推荐一本英文版的儿童读物，书名叫《Cry, Heart, But Never Break》（好好哭泣）。通过这本书，可以在孩子幼小心灵里播种下有关死亡的理解，引导他们树立积极正面的生死观。
“Who would enjoy the sun if it never rained? Who would yearn for the day if there were no night?”
如果天气从不下雨，谁还会享受阳光？如果没有黑夜，谁还会在乎白天？
BY MARIA POPOVA
作者是丹麦儿童作家葛伦.林特威德（Glenn Ringtved）
插画师是丹麦画家夏洛特.帕蒂（Charlotte Pardi）
This warmly wistful story begins outside the “small snug house” where four children live with their beloved grandmother. Not wanting to scare the young ones, Death, who has come for the old lady, has left his scythe by the door. Immediately, in this small and enormously thoughtful gesture, we are met with Death’s unexpected tenderness.
在一条安静的小街上，有一栋小房子，房子里住着一个老奶奶和四个小孩子。老奶奶年纪大了，身患重病，终于有一天，死神悄悄来到这户人家的们前，准备进去释放老奶奶的灵魂。死神怕吓到孩子，他把和自己随身不离的镰刀留到门外，只身走进房门。从这个细节，我们可以看到死神有着多么柔软的内心。
Inside, he sits down at the kitchen table, where only the youngest of the kids, little Leah, dares look straight at him.
死神走进小屋，先和四个孩子围坐在餐桌旁。孩子们知道死神到来的目的是什么，他们痛苦和紧张。四个孩子中，只有最年幼的一个，利亚（Little Leah），敢直视死神的脸。
What makes the book particularly touching, thanks to Pardi’s immensely expressive illustration, is just how crestfallen — broken, even — Death himself looks the entire time he is executing his mission, choked up with some indiscernible fusion of resignation and recompense.
这本书非常与众不同的地方，是插画师对死神的刻画。死神不再是令人恐怖催命鬼，相反，他内心善良和富有同情心，在执行死亡任务的时候，他自己也很无可奈何。
In the quiet, the children could hear their grandmother upstairs, breathing with the same raspy breaths as the figure at the table. They knew Death had come for her and that time was short.
孩子和死神围坐在客厅，默不作声，他们都能听到楼上的重病的奶奶发出沉重的呼吸声。孩子们知道死神为何而来，更知道，那个时候快到了。
To stall the inevitable, the children devise a plan — believing that Death only works at night, they decide to keep refilling his coffee cup until dawn comes, at which point he would have to leave without their grandmother.
为了不让死神带走奶奶，孩子们有一个计划：孩子们以为死神只在夜里出没，因此，他们一杯杯给死神斟满咖啡，希望尽快天亮。
Here, too, one is struck by the ordinariness of Death, for what can be more ordinary — and life-loving, even — than to enjoy a cup of coffee at the kitchen table?
死神喝着孩子们的咖啡，内心十分纠结：对死神来说，他必须要执行自己的使命，另一方面，他能理解孩子们心中的痛苦，希望自己真的可以立即起身离去。从这个细节，我们可以看到死神柔软的一面，他内心纠结着一杯接着一杯地喝着咖啡。
But Death eventually curls his bony hand over the cup to signal that the time has come. Leah reaches her own tiny hand, taking his in hers, and beseeches him not to take their darling grandmother. Why, she insists, does grandma have to die?
最终，死神用手盖住咖啡的杯口，示意时间到了，他要开始执行任务了。小利亚这时用小手握住死神的手，求他不要带走奶奶，她询问死神“为什么？为什么奶奶必须要死？”
Some people say Death’s heart is as dead and black as a piece of coal, but that is not true. Beneath his inky cloak, Death’s heart is as red as the most beautiful sunset and beats with a great love of life.
有人说，死神的心就像煤块那样漆黑和冰冷，这不是真的。在墨黑的外袍下面，死神有着朝霞一样红彤彤的温暖的心，那颗新跳动着，带着对生命的爱。
Death is once more overcome with kindness and compassion for the children, so he decides to answer Leah’s question with a story, hoping it would help them understand why dying is natural and necessary.
死神带着慈爱和温情，看着孩子，他决定给孩子们讲一个故事，用故事来回答利亚的问题，希望孩子们可以理解，为什么死亡是自然和必须的。
He tells them of two brothers named Sorrow and Grief, who lived in a somber valley and went about their days “slowly and heavily” because they never looked up, because “they never saw through the shadows on the tops of the hills.”
很久以前，有两个兄弟，一个叫缺憾（Sorrow），一个叫悲伤（Grief）。他们生活在一个忧郁的山谷里，过着缓慢和沉重的生活。两兄弟从不向上看，漂浮在山顶的悲伤之云挡住了他们的视线，他们看不到外面的世界。
Beyond those shadows, Death tells the kids, lived two sisters, Joy and Delight.
在悲伤之云的上门，住着两个小姐妹，一个叫开心（Joy），一个叫快乐（Delight）。
They were bright and sunny and their days were full of happiness. The only shadow was their sense that something was missing. They didn’t know what, but they felt they couldn’t fully enjoy their happiness.
两姐妹过着明亮充满阳光的日子。她们在快乐之余会有一丝不安，她们感觉生活里好像缺了一些什么，她们不知道具体是什么，但她们知道，她们所缺的不能让她们尽情的去享受快乐。
As Death is telling the story, little Leah nods her head, for she can tell what is to come — the two boys meet the two girls and they fall in love, two perfectly balanced couples: Sorrow and Joy, Grief and Delight.
当死神在讲述这个故事的时候，小利亚在不停点头，她能猜到故事的结局：两个男孩遇见了两个女孩，缺憾和开心，悲伤和快乐，他们彼此相爱，成为了夫妻。
Death tells the kids:
It is the same with life and death… What would life be worth if there were no death? Who would enjoy the sun if it never rained? Who would yearn for the day if there were no night?
死神继续说到：
生和死也是一样，如果没有死，生还有什么意思？如果天气从不下雨，谁还会享受阳光？如果没有黑夜，谁还会在乎白天？
Something difficult and beautiful has sunk in.
When death finally gets up from the table to head upstairs, the youngest boy is moved to stop him — but his older brother puts a rueful hand on his shoulder and gently discourages him.
死神最后站起来，慢慢走上楼。最小的男孩要站起来，挡住死神的去路。他的哥哥把手放到轻轻他的肩膀上，阻止了他。
Moments later, the children heard the upstairs window open. Then, in a voice somewhere between a cry and a whisper, Death said, “Fly, Soul. Fly, fly away.”
不一会，孩子们听到奶奶房间里的窗户打开了。房间里传出低沉地带着哭腔的吟唱，那是死神的声音：“灵魂，飞走吧！灵魂，飞到遥远的地方去吧！”
They hurry upstairs, where their grandmother has died — a moment of great sadness, enveloped in warm peacefulness.
孩子们跑上楼，老奶奶已经死了。一阵难以忍受的悲伤和沉默之后，孩子们有一股温暖的平静。始终，死神都陪在他们身边。
The curtains were blowing in the gentle morning breeze. Looking at the children, Death said quietly, “Cry, Heart, but never break. Let your tears of grief and sadness help begin new life.”
房间里的窗帘伴着清晨的微风轻轻抖动。死神看着孩子们，轻轻的说：“哭吧，让心好好哭吧，但不要让它破碎，让你悲伤的眼泪帮助你们开始生命的另一段旅程”。
Then he was gone.然后，死神消失了。
Ever after, whenever the children opened a window, they would think of their grandmother. And when the breeze caressed their faces, they could feel her touch.
从那之后，每当孩子们打开窗子，他们都会想起奶奶，当微风拂过脸颊，他们都能感受到她轻轻的爱抚。
这是一本适合5到10岁孩子看的图画书，除了故事本身，我还特别喜欢这本书的画风，那种颜色明丽中流露出的某种淡淡忧郁，那种不经意就带出出童话王国的色泽和景致。这本书值得爸爸妈妈带着孩子一起阅读和讲述，更值得爸爸妈妈替孩子收藏。
THE END
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