如何转换头脑默认的负面思维 How to change the

作者: backtonature | 来源:发表于2017-10-30 09:07 被阅读25次

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当我们遇到不符合我们预期的事情时，我们很快容易下结论，而且通常是负面的结论，或者往最坏的情况想。

Whenever we see an incident that is not what we expected or what we had in mind, we are quick to draw conclusions, especially negative conclusions and even worst-case scenarios.

比如说你遇到你的男（女）朋友和异性吃饭，但没有提前告诉你，你的自动反应可能会觉得他（她）对你不诚实。而事实上他（她）只是和一个普通朋友在吃饭，他（她）没有告诉你的原因正是因为怕你产生误解。

For instance, if you bumped into your gf/bf who is having dinner with the opposite sex, whom did not inform you earlier. Your automatic response might be s/he is cheating on you. When in fact, s/he is just having dinner with a normal friend and s/he chooses not to tell you because you might misunderstand.

又或者是你远距离的伴侣没有及时回复你的短信可能因为时差或者他（她）比较忙。但你的自动反应可能是他（她）有外遇或者他（她）不关心你。事实上他（她）可能只是那晚比较早睡，并且没有看手机。

Or when your long-distance relationship partner cannot reply your texts earlier due to time differences and the fact that s/he might be busy, you may automatically assume that maybe s/he is having an affair and s/he doesn’t care about you. When in fact s/he just went to bed earlier than usual and did not check the phone.

又或者你走进一家店发现服务员不太热情，没有得到应有招呼。你可能会觉得这个服务员没有礼貌或者她瞧不起你觉得你买不起。而事实上她可能只是那天早上心情很糟糕因为刚和男朋友在电话里吵架。

Or if a person walked into the shop and the salesgirl did not seem to be too friendly or chatty. You might accuse the salesgirl for being rude and thinking she might think you don't have money. When in fact she might just had a terrible morning and argued with her boyfriend on the phone before this.

又或者你刚和一个人约会，你感觉很好，但是对方没有及时给你发信息，你可能马上认定对方对你没有感觉。而事实上对方可能也是个害羞不主动的人。

Or maybe you just went on a date with someone. You felt good but the other party did not contact you later. You probably automatically assume the other party is not interested. When in fact s/he may also be very shy to make the first move.

类似以上在我们生活中发生例子我可能能举出上千个......

I can possibly list more than a thousand more similar incidences like the above that happen in our daily life...

我们的头脑，和我们的意识不一样，如果没有得到很好的训练，总会感觉害怕，没有安全感，容易执着，所以我们自动的反应一般都是以恐惧为基础。我们很容易进入“战斗或者逃离”的模式，就像动物看到威胁一样，是动物的本能反应。所以这就是为什么头脑容易产生负面的结论。

Unlike our consciousness, our minds, if not well-trained, seem to have the natural tendency to feel scared, insecure, easily attached and our automatic responses are largely driven by fear...we are easily being caught up in the fight or flight mode, like animals when reacting to threats, that is the animal instinct. That is why our minds are quick to draw negative conclusions easily.

当我们陷入头脑的负面思考的陷阱时，其后果对我们的健康，生活中的关系和生活的其他方面都是非常不利的。

When we fall into the traps of our minds and negative thinking, the consequences of that may be quite detrimental to our well-beings, relationships and other aspects in life.

如果你能思考得更深，你会发现我们对现实的理解其实是基于我们的看法。就像一杯装满一半水的杯子，你认为这杯水是一半满还是一半空，你都是对的。

If you delve deeper upon this topic, you might realise that our interpretations of reality are largely based on by our perceptions. Whether you think the glass is half-full or half-empty, you are both right.

对与错其实完全取决于我们对这件事的看法。所以为什么不选择“杯子是一半满”的态度来看这个世界呢？

The right or wrong answers in our mind actually depend on what perceptions you choose to believe. So why not choose to view this world with the lense of 'the glass is half-full' perspective?

你要知道我们在地球上只有短暂的时间（当然我相信轮回，但在这里我们就谈这辈子吧 :)），而且在我们生活中的每时每刻都有可能是我们生命中最后一刻，所以为什么不让每一时刻都变得精彩，变得愉悦呢？为什么还要给自己制造更多没有必要的烦恼呢？

Given that we only have limited time on earth (although I believe in reincarnation, but let's just talk about this lifetime :)) and each and every moment of our life could potentially all be the last moment of our life, why not make each moment as joyous as possible? Why even bother creating even more miseries for yourself in life?

今天小编想分享给大家如何以“杯子是一半满”的态度来生活。

So here is how to live life through ‘the glass is half-full’ perspective.

1. 明白可能还有另一边你不知道的故事

1.Understand that there may be another side of the story

几乎在任何情况下总有另一边的故事。如果你的爱人没有像平时那样及时回复你的信息，可能他（她）正在忙。如果你的伴侣选择不告诉你一些事情，可能因为他（她）怕你误解。

There is often always another side of the story in almost all the circumstances. If your loved one did not reply your texts earlier than usual, it could be s/he was busy in the middle of something. If your partner chooses not to disclose certain things to you, it could be she/he might worry that you might misunderstand.

因此我们不应该太容易根据我们的想法和偏见下结论。

Therefore, one should not draw conclusions too easily and too quickly according to one’s own perceptions and biases.

2. 在下结论前给对方解释的机会，耐心倾听

2.Offering a chance for explanation beforedrawing definite conclusions and listen patiently

这点对很多关系都非常重要。这就是为什么沟通尤其重要。如果一方觉得另一方的行为不太正确，以其马上厉声指责，我们应该给对方一个解释的机会，并且试图明白为什么对方会这样做。

This is especially important in relationships. That is when communications become crucial. If one partner feels the other partner’s behaviours may be inappropriate, instead of accusing straight away, one should probably offering the other party a chance for explanation, try to understand why the other party might have behaved in this way.

我们都应该耐心的倾听，用宽容的耳朵和慈悲的眼神去倾听。

And we should all listen patiently and listen with ears of tolerance and eyes of compassion.

3. 选择相信积极的一面－‘杯子总是一半满’

3.Choose to think positively –

‘glass is always half-full’

如果对方无法解释，比如说我们根本不认识对方。那我们应该选择相信积极的一面。毕竟选择相信负面对我们一点益处的没有，除了破坏我们的心情，浪费我们的精力以及生活中宝贵的时间。

If explanations cannot be given, for instance, we may not even know the person. Then perhaps choose to think positively. After all, how does thinking negative serving us in any beneficially way instead of ruining our mood, wasting our energy and precious moments in life.

所以以其认为那个服务员不礼貌瞧不起你，为什么不选择相信她可能度过了很糟糕的的一天，可能刚和男朋友在电话吵架，所以她工作不在状态。

So instead of assuming the absent-minded salesgirl being rude, perhaps choose to think that she has had a horrible day and perhaps just argued with the boyfriend on the phone, hence explained her absent-mindedness at work.

以其认为我们的伴侣可能在欺骗我们，为什么不愿意选择相信他（她）可能真的是在忙所以无法及时回复信息。选择相信对方的解释，选择相信总有我们不知道的故事。

Instead of assuming our partner is cheating on us, perhaps choose to think that s/he might be really busy with work or other matters thus s/he could not reply our texts promptly. Try to believe the others' explainations and believing that there are always other sides of the stories that we did not know.

4. 试图理解和培养同理心

4.Be understandable and be compassionate

我们都是独特的，有独特的看法及交流方式，根深蒂固于我们成长的文化以及社会和他人给我们条条框框的条件。

We are all unique individuals with unique perspectives and ways of communications, sometimes deeply rooted in the culture we brought up and conditions we have been imposed on by society and others.

有的人可能对直接的‘摊牌’沟通没有问题，而有的人可能比较倾向于不沟通来‘解决’冲突。而有的人可能根本无法直接面对面用语言沟通，更倾向于写作。

Some people may be very comfortable in straightforward confrontations whereas others may tend to withdraw from communicating outwardly in order to 'mitigate problems' (in their perspectives). Some people probably just cannot communicate verbally at all and prefer writing.

如果我们都能对每个人产生更多的同理心，理解并且接受每个人都是独特的，试图不要强加自己的想法于他人并且太快的对他人的行为下结论。如果我们都能换位思考－把自己放在别人的位置上考虑。我相信这个世界可能会少很多痛苦，而且我们都能活得更快乐和圆满。

If we could all cultivate more compassion towards our own beings, and understanding and accepting that each of us is unique, try not to impose our own views and drawing definite conclusions on others’ behaviours too quickly, and also try to put ourselves in other people’s shoes more often.I’m sure there will be less miseries in the world and we could all live a much happier and fulfilled life.

希望我们的生命都充满爱，理解和慈悲。

May our lives befilled with love,

understanding and compassion.