Growing up, I often heard stuff like, “You can be anything you want!” And that motivated me to do well in school, to take care of my body, and to dedicate time and energy to building a career. The idea that you and I can do anything we want is very inspiring, but it’s also false.
Another thing I often heard was, “You’re the director of your own movie!” That’s supposed to motivate you to take matters into your own hands, to be the maker of your own life. While there’s some wisdom in that, the Stoic philosopher Epictetus had a slightly different perspective on what life actually is. He said:
“Consider yourself as an actor in a play. The nature of the play — whether short or long — is for the director to decide. The director will also decide whether your role is one of a poor person, a rich person, a cripple, a king, or a commoner. You as an actor do not decide these things. Like an accomplished actor you need to perform the role assigned to you in life skillfully. The responsibility for deciding what role you play rests with someone else.”
The first time I read that, I found it a bit sad. I thought every person was the director of the play, and also the actor. But we need to see things for what they are. There are some things in life that are handed to us, and we can’t change those things. I always appreciate the humility of Warren Buffett when he’s asked about how he became the most successful investor of all time.
But the truth of the ovarian lottery will never change. Where you’re born, what year, your family’s socioeconomic status, your physical shape, what your natural talents are, and so forth; that’s all written the day you came to this earth. But we can still make the best of what’s given to us. We can see ourselves as actors in a play. And we play that role the best way we can.
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