昨晚挂好蚊帐，大宝在屋里哄阿宝睡觉，我关上卧室的门，退了出来。
下意识地拿起手机，看见T同学的老公发来一条微信，问是否有空通话。我连忙回了信息过去，电话很快打了过来。接通后，首先听到的是话筒那边的一声长叹。原来，T同学的墓地已经选好，追悼会的日子也暂定在下周日，让我可以正式通知MSE的同学们了。
放下电话，我先和几个早先已经知道她死讯的同学们说了一声，然后在犹豫要不要在中元节的这个时候在大群里发通知给大家。后来想来想去，还是没有等待到第二天，直接发了出去。传统中，中元节本也是祭祀的日子，在这一天把消息告知同学们，或许也是T同学冥冥之中的心念也说不定。毕竟，无论是「中元节」、还是「死亡」本身究竟意味着什么，我们知之甚少，甚至可以说是一无所知。
今天早上一起身，就看见几段克里希那穆提（J.KRISHNAMURTI）的话：
What is death? Surely, it is the complete cessation of everything that you have know. If it is not the cessation of everything you have know, it is not death. If you know death alreay, then you have nothing to bie frightened of. But do you know death? That is, can you while living put an end of this everlasting struggle to find in the impermanent something that will continue? Can you know the unknowable, that state which we call death, while living? Can you put aside all the descriptions of what happens after death which yo have read in books, or which you unconscious desire for comfort dictates, and taste or experience that state, which must be extraordinary, now? If that state can be experienced now, then living and dying are the same.
Suffering is a shock to awaken you, to helpo you to understand life. When you experience death, yo feel utter loneliness, the loss of support; you are like the man who has been deprived of his crutches.
But if you immediately seek crutches again in the shape of comfort, companionship, secruity, you deprive the shock of tis significance. Another shock comes, and again you go through the same process. Thus, though you have many experiences during your life, shocks of suffering that should awaken your intelligence, your understanding, you gradully dull those shocks by your desire and pursuit after comfort.
死亡是一切已知的终结，面对死亡所带来的苦痛，是唤醒智慧的一次冲击。然而我们常常会下意识地逃避这痛苦。
想起这两天在看《活出生命的意义》时，一直翻阅到最后，急切地想知道，作者的妻子究竟有没有在奥斯维辛集中营幸存下来。可是，维克多在之后的文字里，再也没有提及过这件事。他只说了，根据统计数据，他所在的集中营里幸存的概率是1/29。再看别人写的后记，才知道，他在从集中营获救的第一天，就已经知道了自己怀孕的妻子，因为被折磨与饥饿，早就惨死于集中营。
或许，他妻子去世的那一天，正是他感觉他妻子就在他身边，几乎可以触摸到的那个时刻吧。
「死亡」究竟是什么，或许谜底就藏在「生命」之中吧。他们本来就应该是一体两面的事物。
「未知生，焉知死」、「未知死、焉知生」
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