By its very definition, a ‘wasted effort’ refers to things we spend time and energy on which could have been better deployed elsewhere. It is an opportunity cost.
Our lives are full of waste. I’ve lost entire Saturday’s going down stupid wormholes. But only a day was lost. The price can be so much higher if we don’t adequately police our behavior.
Internet tensions are a vacuum of your time
Mill was a proponent of building opinions solely on facts. He saw, one hundred years early, the futility of internet arguments. Our rationales are dangerously burdened by our emotions and sense of identity. I have yet to see an internet argument end with two people saying, “Great! I’m glad we had this discussion. We learned so much.”
I made a rule when I began writing online: no internet arguments. The mask of incognito is an enemy of civil discourse. I redirect that energy to other things. Is it really worth going through your day, angry about what a stranger said to you online?
They say the lottery is a tax on people who can’t do the math. I would say arguing on the internet is a tax on people who don’t value their time.
Personal relationships are a vacuum
We get so acclimated to unhealthy situations that we stop noticing the toxicity. When that situation finally starts to go away, as it should, we rake the ground rather than rejoice. It’s almost like a drug withdraw. We should be happy we are quitting. But there we are, itching for more of the poison. When a person, in no uncertain terms, says they want to leave — let them.
When relationships are organic and natural, they have their own sort of gravity. They stay without too much effort.
Passion is the source of very long term problems
I hate to use the word ‘problem’ while referencing a child but unintended pregnancies create other unwanted problems that last far longer than you realize. You are suddenly co-parenting with someone you can’t stand. You have daycare costs, food, and myriad unexpected things to manage. Every aspect of your life is fundamentally changed because you didn’t spend $5 on protection. After my divorce, I was stunned by the number of single parents on dating apps.
It might feel good at the moment to break the rules. But mark my words, there’s a sinking feeling that comes later on. Be willing to say no when it is most difficult.
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