这是Ivy在CHIC的第n个演讲，灵光乍现，提前三天稿子一气呵成，排练和现场都把自己感动哭了，最后的message余音绕梁，也成了最近的座右铭，演讲促进深入思考，真是美好的心流体验，争取下次再提前2天，周六写稿。
title: When grandma disagrees
project: vocal variety
message:
punchline: judge less, love more.
beginning: calling home
ending: judge less, love more.
Ladies and gentlemen,
How often do you talk to your parents? Me, every other week. The rate is low, I know. But when it comes to grandparents, it is even lower.
（照片）My grandma was born in 1940s and indeed a beautiful women of very curious mind and sharp critical thinking. Last week, I called her up.
（右手）"Hi dear grandma, how is everything going?" (My general way of saying when I don't really know what's next.)
（左手）"Baobao, I had a great day. We hung out today tried the new restaurant."
"Wait, you mean during the epidemic period? You eat in the public restaurant?"
"Yes, no worries, there were so many other people in it. "
(捂嘴OMG)"So many people gathering is the problem. It's so dangerous to expose to the virus " I almost shouted.
"Relax."
Ding...To break this embarrassed long pause, grandma tried to give me some constructive feedbacks on my work.
"Baobao, I watched your latest video online. In it, you said something not really appropriate."
"Really, what's that?"
"You said 99% of Chinese pronounced wrong. You are too young too naive, the elder teachers would hate you."
"Grandma please, 99% might be a little exaggeration, but it is quite true that most people made mistake on this point."
"If you said others are wrong, how did prove you are right?"
Ding... On the edge of losing control, my grandma did her last try to talk about some current events. That is not relative to both of us, safe choice.
"Baobao, you know a lot of Chinese living in foreign countries are carrying Coronavirus back. We should ask them to stay where they are. They are not welcomed."
"Don't say that, they are victims themselves. It's racism, one of the 4 taboos in my TM club" (举牌头马)
"Emm, what kind of horse you are talking?"
After several rounds, I secretly made up my mind to call her even less .
Ladies and gentlemen, did you find this scenario familiar in your family. The gap there is obvious, so I often choose an easy way to solve the problem, avoid them.
However, I was not always like that. Ten years ago, I left home for college and flied back only 7 days a year.
Year after year, grandma's hair looked grayer and grayer. I need to talk to her louder and louder. Recently, she bought herself a new toy, a walking stick.
If there is anything never changes about grandma, it's that every time I left home, she cried like a kid, exactly the way I did when I left her at 3.
At that time, we were really close. I felt panic when she was not around. She always said "You are the person I love most for my entire life." I never doubt that.
She cooked me my favorite dish, made me the warmest sweater in winter, and transported 2000 kilometers to send me to college.
Yet at some point, I started to avoid her physically and mentally. Because I thought I know better than her about this dangerous Coronavirus, I thought she had no idea about my professional career, I criticized her irrational judgement on the foreign Chinese. However, what I've been doing was nothing but judging her. When Judging begins, there is no space for love.
Ladies and gentlemen, judge less, love more. Researcher said, we only left 2 years or so to spend with our families after 18. So why we spend these precious time being a debater, a professor, or a toastmaster at home. Those roles facilitate us in society but blind us in family.
Thinking of here, tears blurred my vision.
On the other end, grandma smiled "Baobao, I know you are busy, call me once a month is enough, remember I love you"
"I love you too, grandma, so much. Call you soon" (and next time, judge less, love more.)
Toastmaster.
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