Can wisdom protect against lonel

Jeste offered advice on how to break a pattern loneliness by increasing wisdom.

Start with self-reflection, what Jeste calls the most important part of wisdom. This means “honestly looking inside yourself and thinking about your strengths and your limitations,” he advised, providing an example. “I may have five friends, and I feel lonely because I feel that I need twenty friends. However, you may have five friends, and you’re more than happy with having five friends. So, you don’t feel lonely.”

Jeste explained that the person who feels lonely with only five friends do one of two things. “I can find opportunities to increase my friendships from five to twenty; an older person could move into senior housing where there are organized social activities or find friends through Facebook. Alternatively, I can reduce my expectations.”

To reduce expectations, said Jeste, “I can think, ‘Why do I feel I need twenty friends, and not five? What is making me want twenty friends? Is it because I lack self-compassion? Is it because I’m not decisive?” Self-reflection, Jeste added, helps in adjusting expectations to the reality.