30th.

The good part of being 30th, it is that you have already known what do you like and what do you want. You knew yourself better, and you can see the human or world more profound by the different perspective. Through the small things, you can find more meaning in it, and also more understand the situation or people by considering the bigger picture.

You would have more control of life for realizing that if you have set up a good schedule, it will be much easier to keep things running well, like a pattern, naturally continues. You used to be so frustrated with handling too many things, it was so hard for you to put it all together. It was too easy to destructed by various conditions, by the new fascinating things or anything that just jumps up on you. It is always unexpecting disturbs going on, the fear, the worries, the hurt, the lost, the past, temptations like cigarettes, alcohol, sex,  tv shows, anything that keeps you from concentrate.

When things get out of control, it would drive people to drown in the pain and desperation of the difficulties to make the effort of changing, even to change yourself is not easy. You make up a plan and try so hard on it, ''boom''!  you failed, again and again. Next session is you get into self-deny，you feel disappointed and useless,  then you start to build up yourself control, willpower and confidence again, and you will do better, might as well last longer, till next failure，it feels like playing back to zero to zero again.

It is better to views on the bigger picture, you have been changed and grew so much, even though the outside environment hasn't changed a thing, but most of the time of the moment you woke up or you went to sleep, you just feel so peaceful and joyful, and you were thinking you are truly the happiest and lucky person in the world, you are so grateful for it.

Just a few years ago, you would never imagine this kind of feeling, that you are independent both in spiritually and materially. There were so many times when you were walking on the street, you just can't help the tears falling out, for you feel so lonely, even though you had so many friends, but when you needed someone, you realize there was no one could be there,  everyone was busy and stuck in their own life, and you can't blame them.

Now You are comfortable to be in any circumstance, surrounded by people or just being alone, it's all good.  From your heart, you are happy and in peace, slowly enjoy the 3oth.