小作文
自己写
The chart compares the difference between male students and female students when choosing their major at university in Australia in 1995.
第一段
Male students prefer to choose Engineering as their main subject,accounting for 19%.(和女性有个鲜明的对比,前面需要提到这是最大的差距,the biggest gender difference was observed in Engineering,~.后面需要与女性形成鲜明对比:in marked contrast to 2% of female students.)
The gender gap was also clear in Computing,where 10% of male students chose this subject,while only 4% of female students study computing.(对比女性的可以改成compared with 4% of female students.)
原文范例:只提了男性的最多的两个专业,未提女性。
with:with around 14% and 10% of male students pursuing a degree in these two fields.(pursue a degree;with sb doing)
第二段
Female students' favourite subject was Art and Humanities,accounting for 19% of females.But only 13% of males chose this subject.(前面可以加上,in contrast。最好不用accounting for,因为主语为subject。修改:后半句为where they outnumbered men(19% to 13%).where 19% of females chose this subject.)(另一种修改方式,将A变成主语,A and H was the most popular subject among females,accounting for 19%.)
Health was another popular subject among females,accounting for 15%.(要对比男性,书上例句是:more than three times the figure for men(only 4%).)
Women were also more likely to study education than men(10% and 6% respectively).
第三段
两个性别差异不明显的
The gender gap was narrow in accounting and Economics.Where 13% of females and 11% of males chose to study.(可以变换句式:which was selected by 13% of men and 11% of their female counterparts.)
同样在B,性别差异也不明显
Likewise in Business Studies,~(书上例句背诵)
最后一段,总结:
Overall,scientific subjects male dominated
be popular with women
business related subjects
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