[正式台词剧本]
自恋镜1：
像我这样的逆天颜值
Handsome man like me,
有什么发型是我驾驭不了的
I absolutely can handle any F-A-S-I-O-N hairstyle.
受不了
Oh my god,
我真的好帅
I really look like Daniel Wu.
点奶茶镜2：
服务员
Waiter
您好先生
Hey, sir
可乐雪碧柠檬茶
Cole, sprite, lemon tea
亲爱的帅哥
Dear cool boy
喝点啥？
Drink some?
珍珠奶茶
Zhenzhu milk tea
要特制吗？
I hear you want ♂ something different?
少冰少糖
Less ice, less sugar
调你*
♂uck you
你快点去做吧
You quick quick go to do
行吧
Whatever
嘲讽镜3：
你们看，这就是我刚刚跟你们说的那个哈皮
Hey gays, look. that guy is the hape i just say
不会啊
NO NO NO
你看那位帅哥清爽帅气
You look that pretty, Cyan cool and handsome
看帅哥的发型清新有型
Look his hairstyle, just aoligei
他用的一定是清新飘蝇啫喱水
He must use the qingxin piaoying zheli H2O
牛逼阿郝靓仔
You really cowboy, hoo-liangzad
这TM你TM都能看得出来
You even know what underwear color is that gays right?
内心镜4：
那三位的容貌竟然让我感到一丝丝威胁
That three let me feel a little threat, how is that possible?
(深哥独镜)
先看着一位的长相清爽帅气
Frist look this guys, look Cyan cool and handsome
再看他的发型清新有型
And look his hairstyle is fashion like me
他肯定跟我一样用的是清新飘蝇啫喱水
He must be use the same H2O like me
(周总独镜)
再看这位头发胶得一丝不苟的
Look another guys, his hair YING BANGBANG
就算苍蝇在上面都落不住脚吧？
I think even the dust still can't stand in there
(班长独镜)
最后来看这位从打扮上来看屌丝中带着一点点
Look the last one, his must a van player.
不可抹灭的贵气
Look like A sha mate
一看就是久居高位的少年
I really like this man
(回主镜)
有点按耐不住我这激情澎湃的内心了
I can't stay here
我要去认识一下这三位人才
i must to meet these guys
这样我理想中的绝世容颜四人组就组成了
So i can play PUBG with them
可能这他妈就是美貌的吸引力吧
I thought it must be fate, they just like magnet sucking my heart
结识镜5：
我见你们骨骼精奇是万中无一的装逼奇才
I see you gays so strong, is that 10000 tiao 1 man
我这里有一系列的装逼大计就便宜你们了
I have many lovely plan wanna play with you gays
我们一起嘬一个下午的珍珠奶茶共商大计如何
We just sit here and talk about the grils all this xiawu, you guys think this ok?
装逼什么就找他吧
He is a van guys
你好
Ley hou a
郝靓仔
hoo-liangzad
我知道啊
Hai yong ni shuo
不是我说我叫郝靓仔
♂uck no! I say my name is hoo-liangzad
庄猛叫我小庄就好
Zhuang gengfeng, you just call me little zhuang
坐
Just stand there
兄弟你叫什么名字
Hey bro, what's your name?
我叫史蒂芬·淝宅叫我史淝宅就好了
My name is steve · gaylao, you can just call me dead fat house
你是装的我是真的
You are jiade meng, I'm real
斟猛
Really meng.
回宿舍那一镜要加段内心戏再回宿舍
你们的老爸回来啦
You big son is back!
看什么
Look what?
唉呀看小房书啊要不要一起看
I'm looking a little story after the rain, wanna join me?
勾搭上哪个妹子啊
Witch girl so lucky?
我跟你说今天遇到那女的真的劲不跟你吹牛逼
I don't lie you, today that girl bigger than me, I am s♂ happy
握草迪奥
WOC Dior
真是我们这些有女朋友的看到美女都不敢多看一眼
Really? I'd like to meet this girl, sounds so yellow
港那么多还是游戏好玩
You talk too much, game is my girlfriend
你看我在网上又撩了个妹子
I have a new apple pan
你别说那么多你像个卯一样
You like an egg
我去冲凉啦
I gonna get a shower
今晚买哪一队啊
Witch team will win tonight?
西班牙丹麦信我
Spanish and danmark, trust me
你可拉倒吧
You drag Justin bieber down man
跟你反着买的话我现在就已经别墅靠海了你知道吗
If i trust you i maybe will become a poor guy
不行我信我杰哥今晚赢了请你们吃饭
No, i trust my Zhuang-meng brother, if i win the game i wanna buy a ferrari
我先出去咯晚上回来一起看球
I gonna meet my boyfriends, see you later
哼现充的丑恶嘴脸
Maybe this is dalao
大卡司镜：
那史淝宅呢
Where is si fei zhai
跟女朋友约会去啦
papapa with girlfriend
他那样子都有女朋友啊
fei zhai as well as spring?
别人有点东西的啊
he very have ￥￥￥
人家有特长的啊
he have long long long
有什么特长
what long long long
别人会单手开法拉利你会吗
Drive a ferrari with one hand
你说有钱多好我要有钱我也这样子搞
I have money i am stronger than him
你看那女的还可以噢
See the girl have an unconventional look
这样的你都看得上
You dlind?
不会呀还可以呀
She's old bag
去要微信啊
ask for WeChat
我们还有事那就先走咯
We should roll
我都说啦凭我的颜值没有要不到的微信
I'm ♂ucking cool so ask for WeChat so easy
大家都是九年义务教育为什么每次听你讲话都特别优秀呢
You have a lot of nerve
我留过级啊
I fail to go up to the next grade
过来看一下我怎么撩她
come over look me pretend to be something
怎么回事不应该是这样子的啊
what the hell ?what the ♂uck
兄弟撩妹不是你这样来的啊
bor failure
唉真**丢人 他*的
TM shame on
跟他学一下史淝宅就是他教出来的
U can be god, cause steve·feizhai is his apprentice
不行我这么帅肯定不是颜值的问题
I can't, i am so handsome, not my problem
我先走啦今晚世界杯要开始了
I gotta go, i still have a romantic meeting with my boyfriends
======终止======
用文字过掉剧情，放首悲惨的音乐
由于剧组经费不足，后续剧情无法进行拍摄。
后面的剧情大家就看字幕8
西班牙0:1俄罗斯
克罗地亚点球大战4:3丹麦
庄猛在这一次的赌博中输了精光，第二天只能穿内裤去上学。
后来在三人组的帮助下，庄猛重新做人，改掉了性格上的缺陷。
庄猛的故事告诉我们，做人要低调，不要太轻浮，而且赌博有害身心健康。
彩蛋：
我是庄猛，没想到吧，我又回来了。虽然上次那场赌球输到只剩内裤，但是我还是凭着我惊人的厚脸皮活过来了。
I’m Zhuangmeng, I am back, surprise m*ther *ucker.
Even I lose my underwear, but I still find a way to make my dream come true.
事情是这样的，在输钱当天，我找史蒂芬小借了20亿，全部压在了德国输，最后没想到真的翻身了。哈哈，真是太刺激了。现在我已经有了3000亿的积蓄，我首先干的第一件事就是把学校买了下来。
Here’s the thing, in the day I lose my money, I sell my kidney for play again football guess, I trust deyizhi zhancar, so I win.
Hahaha, this is so cijizhanchang, now me is not the old me, the first thing I’ve done is bought my evil school.
哈哈，这就是老子的江山，哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！
Wakaka, this is my own Jiang-shan, I am the king now!!
还有之前那个女的，我单手开兰博基尼上学的时候碰到了她，现在她是我的小秘了。
And the gril that I chase, she also become my own little mi, because I am so *ucking rich.
所以，兄弟们，搏一搏，单车变摩托~
还要再说一句，本电影纯属虚构，如有雷同，告辞。
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