第一个障碍叫“自我（ego）”。
When I refer to your "ego barrier", I am referring to your subliminal defense mechanisms that make it hard for you to accept your mistakes and weaknesses. Your deepest seated needs and fears-such as the need to be loved and the fear of losing love, the need to survive and the fear of not surviving, the need to be important and the fear of not mattering - reside in primitive parts of your brain such as the amygdala, which are structures in your temporal lobe that process emotions. Because these areas of your brain are not accessible to your conscious awareness, it is virtually impossible for you to understand what they want and how they control you. They oversimplify things and react instinctively. They crave praise and respond to criticism as an attack, even when the higher-level parts of the brain understand that constructive criticism is good for you. They make you defensive, especially when it comes the subject of how good you are.
上面这段话很好地解释了为什么当别人和我有不同意见时，我会激动，我会自动进入防御状态，因为在我大脑深处，我希望得到认同和重视，害怕变得无足轻重。因为在我大脑深处，我渴望被表扬，害怕被批评，即使我知道“忠言逆耳”的道理，我还是下意识的把批评当成攻击，，在遇到攻击时，人自然而然就会进入防御模式。
我们每个人都是被这样编程的，即使非常聪明的人也逃不出这个模式或者习惯。
要逃出这个模式，首先要意识到模式的触发点，比如当别人批评你的时候，然后你自己需要在这个触发点之后插入一段代码，这段代码用来提醒自己“忠言逆耳利于行”，防止自己自动进入“防御模式”。
当然自己给自己编程是相当难的，需要持续的思考、练习和反思。
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