This weekend, I have a deeper understanding of the psychological conception"boundary".
A lecture about parenting told me one have to know the boundary. You could lead a horse to river but cannot force it to drink. This is a godsend to me. Often I find it difficult to balance. Do I really accept that my child is a unique individual and has diffierent life lessons? With this premise, parenting skills can be effective. I reflected on my past experiences which unfortunately turns out no. I'm commading, directing, even trying to take over. I use parenting skills but they don't always work well. That's the problem.
Since he is himself, he needs someone to help him, not take over . What I need to contemplate is how to facilitate his mature in cognition, how to inluence his way of understanding the world, interpreting experiences.
We had a family talk yesterday about our respective roles and duties. Allen is a pupil now but he doesn't fully realize it. That's what I can do next.
Allen is developing an habit to talk against anything out of self-esteem or something. He wouldn't stop with persuasion. That means I need to change. What's the psychology of him doing this? Maybe I need to delibrate on it.
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