A Letter to Helen

Hi Helen,

I couldn't remember when was the last time I wrote you, but as I said I've been thinking about to write you for the recent 2 months, only being lazy and have not idea where should I start to write this email.

So I'll start with some words from you and I've been recalling these words very frequently since I lost my last job :p  I remember once you told me that you had changed 5 jobs in 2 years since you came back to Mongolia. Now Im in the same situation... hahahaha.... I've been unemployed in total of 4 months in this year by now, graduated without a job is very scary, so I'd suffered a lot, the worse moment I had thought about suicide, but now Im enjoying every single day :D

I am going to write you a long, long email, you can divide it in few parts and read when you got time slot :D

I lost my last job because of bad luck, my line manager was a 5 months pregnant lady and flew globally all the time during my probation period, I only saw her in person 2 times in office. Then one day suddenly our department got announced that our MKT director had changed to somebody else, it was an office politics, and a week after half of my department got fired including me who was still in probation period :D    First time got fired in my life, even though I knew it was not really my fault but still I started doubt about myself a lot. Bad time started here :)

This year the economy of China is very bad, which has deeply influenced the job market. I started to get nervous after 2 weeks when I didn't get any interview call, part of the reason was that I had more than 2 months unemployed experience before my last job. Beside, there was sth happened to my family too, then I fell into deep anxiety, couldn't eat well, couldn't sit still, suffered insomnia, stopped talking to ppl too. The good thing was that my salary was pretty good in my last job so I saved a bit and I also got 1 month extra compensation, hens I had money to travel. I went to my sister in the south for a week, flew back to shanghai for an interview and then left for the middle part of China the next day because I could not stay in Shanghai for a single mins. That was my worse period. But after that I came back to shanghai again for interviews and then flew to Inner Mongolia and stayed there for another wee, now Im planning going down to another city tomorrow. So I have to write this email now, otherwise, I'll be lazy and procrastinate on this email again :D

Now, Im going to show you some pics of my trip and tell you the related stories too. I wish one day you could visit these places, they are very beautiful. If I have money and time, I will go with you and show you around.

This is the city called "Guangzhou" almost the southeast area in China. 

This is the city view of Guangzhou, people there speak very beautiful Cantonese and the food here is of the major 4 cuisines in China.

Pics below are the middle part of China. These areas are very rural, there is only one road to drive in, so the nature is protected very well and it's very popular for backpacker, I wish one day I could go back there again.

You can see 4 seasons in one road trip.

This pic was taken in Youth hostel I lived. I met lots of teenagers there, some of them are from other countries. They are very independent and full of new ideas. You are married now, otherwise you will like it, but now, I guess you only think about earning money, cos you need to raise your lovely daughter.

The whole middle part of China trip, I was all alone, that time I suffered so called Depression and thought about suicide. I called my friends and my families, talked hours, then too tired and fell a sleep. It was strange, after that night, I finally found my inner peace wanted to go back to Shanghai. Since then, I became very calm, like I can enjoy every single day now, I read books, watch dramas, sleep days and nights, and enjoy my life even I think Im wasting it haha.

Is it boring to read so many "my" stuff? hahaha....  Before, I always want to be rich, like a quote says "get rich or die trying", but now, I think enjoy life is very important too. I really wish we are living in the same city, we could have a cup of coffee when we are free, or I go to you play with your daughter a bit. I speak fluent english since my last master semester, I didn't really know the reason, just happened to me like that  :p  haha (feel shame here)  what I am trying to say is that I feel so sorry for you that you'd suffered my poor english for such a long time, and that was actually an obstacle between our friendship :D  I liked your personality and I knew your stories, but I was unconfident and immature, so I missed the best time to build a deep friendship with you. But now I am able to exchange every idea with you freely, speaking is garanteed too :p    more important, Im calm now. But we are very far nowadays and busy with our own life, I don't really know how to manage these kind of long distant friendship, so I think maybe start with telling you my real life stories? But I feel it could be so boring for you to read so much. let me know you real thoughts. hahahahaha....

oh, btw, I dated a SA white guys for a short time, he was the most outgoing boy (5 years younger than me) that I've ever met in my life, but very soon I found he was a piece of shit. hahahaha...  But I really appreciate that I had met him so I know being single is such a nice thing and what is the relationship I want in the future.

My dear, so now I am expecting to hear all kinds of your stories!!!  :D

One last thing, I had met few Swedish friends here in Shanghai, they traveled to here. I really wish one day I could see you here in Shanghai, I saved some very cool places for you, I will take you there when you visit <3

A swedish Chinese was here yesterday, I show you a pic. Miss you!

Big hug and Muwah...