嗨 Charlie 快看看你
Hi, Charlie, there you are.
才九个月大 多可爱啊
Nine months old and look how cute you are.
再看看我多么可爱啊
And look how cute I am.
我是你的姐姐 Teddy
It's your big sister Teddy here,
我在拍视频日记
And I'm making this video diary
来帮你立足于我们这个
To help you survive our...
特别的家
Special family.
嗨 看来爸爸已经教了你怎么吃香蕉了
Oh, hey. Looks like dad taught you how to eat bananas.
哦 这是妈妈
Oh, and there's mom,
今天早上看起来最可爱了
Looking lovelier than ever this morning.
没那心情和你开玩笑
Not in the mood.
好了 我觉得你已经吃够香蕉了
Okay. I think you've had enough bananas.
我们改吃点甜豌豆吧
So we're switching to sweet peas!
你会喜欢吃的 快看 妈妈认为它们很美味哦
You're gonna love them. Look, mommy thinks they're so yummy.
非常聪明 一定要让妈妈先尝 懂吗
Very smart. Always make mommy try it first, okay?
哦 那是你的大哥 PJ
Oh, and there's your older brother PJ
像往常一样在最后一分钟赶今天的家庭作业
Doing today's homework at the last minute as usual.
这才不是今天的家庭作业
It's not today's homework.
这是昨天的家庭作业
This is yesterday's homework.
你可能有机会和你哥哥
There's a chance you two will be
一起念高中哦
in high school together.
哦 那是爸爸在准备下一天的工作
Oh, and there's dad preparing for another day's work.
他靠杀虫来赚钱
He kills bugs for a living.
宝贝 拜托 我们已经说过这个了
Honey, come on. we've been through this.
我不是杀虫
I don't kill bugs.
我是害虫防治专家
I'm a pest control specialist.
还不都一样
Either way...
现在你已经见过所有家庭成员啦
So now you've met the whole family.
忘记某人了吧
Forgetting somebody?
Gabe 不是 不是的 我没有忘记你
Gabe! no no no. I didn't forget about you.
我只是打算拿你来压轴
I was just saving the best for last.
Charlie 那是你的小哥哥 Gabe
Charlie, that was your younger older brother Gabe.
你想对 Charlie 说点什么吗
You want to say something to Charlie?
你毁了我的生活
You ruined my life.
好了 看来 Gabe 还需要点时间
Okay, so it's taking Gabe a little bit longer
来适应你 因为你有点像个惊喜
To get used to you. You were kind of a surprise.
我还以为惊喜是好事呢
I thought surprises were supposed to be good.
好了 就到这里了
And... cut.
好了 大家听着
Okay, gang, listen up.
我今晚要回到医院工作
I'm going back to work tonight at the hospital
这是从 Charlie 出生后我第一次上班
For the first time since Charlie was born,
所以我想让你们今晚全都留在家
So I want everyone to stay at home
- 帮你爸爸照顾宝宝 - 等下 不行 妈妈
- and help dad with the baby. - Wait-- no, mom.
我今晚不能待在家里
I'm not gonna be here tonight.
我已经和人约好去图书馆学习了
I have a study date at the library.
你的意思是借学习之机
Don't you mean "studly" date...
和 Spencer 约会吧
With Spencer?
哦 留着亲你的枕头吧
Oh, save it for your pillow.
我很抱歉 Teddy 但是你得重新安排你的计划
I'm sorry, Teddy, but you're just gonna have to reschedule.
但是 爸爸
But, dad--
- Bob - 嗯 爸爸现在也不管用了
- Bob! - Uh, dad's not available right now.
妈妈 别误会我的意思
Mom, don't take this the wrong way,
但是你们为什么非得生第四个宝宝呢
But why did you guys have to have another baby?
那个嘛 因为三个孩子太好养了
Well, because three kids was just too easy.
胆小鬼才只生三个
Three's for quitters.
Teddy 你已经懂事了 不至于去和
And Teddy, you know better than to schedule
一个我从来没见过的男生约会一起学习吧
a study date with a boy I've never met.
拜托 作为你的爸爸
Come on. as dad, it's my responsibility
知道我孩子的每个生活细节是我的责任
to know every detail of my kids' lives.
是吗
Oh yeah?
那我的学校校名是什么
What school do I go to?
嗯 和某个总统名字一样
Um-- the one named after that president.
嗨 快点吧 我得开车送你们去学校了
Hey, you know what? I've got to drive you kids to school.
-
我们走吧 - 等下 我还没吃早饭呢
-
Let's go. - Wait, I haven't had breakfast yet.
-
快点 我们走 - 一天中最重要的一餐
-
Come on, let's go. - Most important meal of the day
-
我从没吃到过 - 我们走吧
-
Never got it. - Let's go!
-
我还得载你去罗斯福小学呢 - 是林肯小学
-
I've gotta get you to... Roosevelt? - Lincoln.
记住了
Got it.
Bob 亲爱的 我去上班了
Bob honey, I'm leaving for work!
好了 老公 这是 Charlie 的生活安排
Okay, honey, here's Charlie's schedule.
这上面写着什么时候喂她
It tells you when to feed her,
什么时候换尿布 什么时候睡觉
When to change her and when to put her down.
宝贝 放轻松
Sweetheart, would you relax?
一切尽在全能老爹的掌控之中呢
Big daddy's got this all under control.
好了 不要以为你的烧烤围裙上写着全能老爹
Okay, just because that's on your barbecue apron
你就真当自己全能了
Doesn't make it true.
如果 Charlie 哭闹了 她的橡胶鸭子可以让她安静下来
Now if charlie gets fussy, her rubber ducky will calm her down.
它们到处都是 拜托你小心点
They're all over the place. Please be careful--
- 它们到处都是 - 亲爱的
- They're all over the place. - Honey...
你似乎忘记了我已经事无巨细地
You seem to forget I was fully involved
养育了三个孩子
in the raising of three kids.
哦 是吗 我生日是什么时候
Oh, yeah? When's my birthday?
- 5月12号 - 11月23号
- July 12th. - November 23rd.
记住了
Got it.
祝你好运 Charlie
Good luck, Charlie.
拜拜
Mwah! Bye.
拜拜
Bye.
嗨 爸爸
Hey, dad?
- 什么事 - 我有个家庭作业的问题问你
- Yeah? - I have a homework question.
好吧 说吧
Okay, fire away.
一般人能舔到自己的腋窝吗
Can the average human lick his own armpit?
- 可以 - 谢了
- Yeah. - Thanks.
那是什么作业 科学问题吗
So what was that, like a science question?
不是
Nope.
我来开门 我来开门
I'll get it. I'll get it.
我来开 其他人都不许碰
I'll get it. Nobody else get it!
- 你好 - 你好
- Hi. - Hi.
好啊
Hi!
我是 Teddy 的爸爸
I'm Teddy's dad.
很高兴见到你 先生
Nice to meet you, sir.
嗯 Spencer 和我要学习了
Uh, Spencer and I are studying
- 我们得准备明天的生物测验 - 真的吗
- for our biology test tomorrow. - Are you, now?
是的 没错 所以请大家都离开好吗
Yes. yes, we are, so can everyone please leave?
除了你
Not you.
- Teddy - 什么事
- Teddy. - Yeah?
我记得你妈说过今天不许学习约会的
I thought your mom said no study date.
是啊 不能在图书馆
Yeah, at the library.
哦 是的
Oh, right.
那么你和她说了在家里学习的事吗
Okay, so then you've talked to her about this?
我当然说了
Of course I did.
我的意思是 我 我非常确定我说过了
I mean, I'm-- I'm pretty sure I did.
只不过我每天和那么多人
It's just I talk to so many different people
说那么多不同的事
about so many different things.
你们家为什么要摆个这么巨大的虫子在这
Why is there a giant bug in your house?
朋友 那个
That, my friend,
叫做沙螽
is the jerusalem cricket,
外行通常管它叫马铃薯瓢虫
Better known to the layman as the potato bug.
- 我是个害虫专家 - 又来了
- I'm an exterminator. - Here we go.
嗨 你看过我在本地有线电视台做的广告吗
Hey, have you seen my ad on local cable--
“Bob 赶走了所有害虫”
"Bob's bugs be gone"?
是吗 我们怎么才能赶走 Bob
Yeah, how do we make Bob be gone?
好吧 你们要做家庭作业
Okay. you've got homework to do.
我也要去换尿布了
I've got a diaper to change.
给她换 不是我
Hers-- not mine.
我还没老到那地步呢
I ain't that old!
我还是上楼去吧
I'm gonna be upstairs.
- Gabe 出去 - 好吧 知道了
- Gabe-- out. - Okay, fine.
不过那个帅哥什么时候才会来啊
But when's that hot guy getting here?
出去
Out!
- 真是小孩子 - 嗯
- Kids. - Yeah.
哦 惨了 我把书忘在学校了
Oh man, I left my book at school.
没关系 我们看一本就行
Oh, that's okay, we can just share mine.
- 可以吗 - 正合我意
- Is that okay? - Perfect.
很好
Good,
因为这一切都是为了学习
Cause I'm all about the learnin'.
- 我去拿根铅笔 - 哦 我有一根
- Let me just grab a pencil. - Oh yeah, I might have one.
我想我的铅笔忘在学校了
I think I left my pencils at school.
我也是
Me too.
女士们 先生们
Ladies and gentlemen!
有请 PJ 和感应乐队
PJ and the Vibe!
哇 听起来像是你就住在那个古怪的小子PJ的隔壁啊
Wow, sounds like you live right next door to that weird PJ kid.
嗯 不过他不在隔壁
Hmm. Yeah, he's not next door.
他在楼下
He's downstairs...
而且他是我哥哥
And he's my brother.
哦 哦 不好意思哈
Oh! oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.
我也是
Yeah, me too.
等下 等下 等下 停 停
Wait wait wait! stop stop!
Emmett 开头的时候你该用强拍的
Emmett, you were supposed to open with the downbeat.
伙计 我演奏的是打击乐器
Dude, I'm percussion,
你得让我“打击”
Let me "percush"!
拜托了 两位
For crying out loud, guys!
什么事
What's up?
你们能小点声吗 我们正在学习呢
Can you please turn it down? We're trying to study.
不能 妹妹 在摇滚乐里只有一种境界
No can do, sis. There's only one level in rock 'n' roll.
那就是大声唱
And that is loud!
等等 我想我们该体谅一下你妹妹
Whoa whoa. I think we can accommodate your little sister.
拜托
Excuse me,
这个组合可是叫 PJ 和感应乐队
But the band is called PJ and the vibe.
那又如何 感应乐队就没有发言权了吗
So what, the Vibe doesn't get a say?
我 我就是感应乐队
I-- I'm the vibe.
是啊 看出来了
Yeah, I got that.
所以你和我产生心灵感应了哈
Oh, so you got my vibe, huh?
我还是回去吧
I'm gonna be over here.
- 关小声点 现在 - 你不能阻挡我对艺术的追求
- Turn it down now. - You will not censor my art.
我不会安静的
I will not be silent!
嘿
hey!
如果再逼我下来的话
If I have come down here again,
我就把这个插你身上
this gets plugged into somewhere else
明白了没
Okay?
对了 她和谁一起学习呢
Yo, who's she up there studying with anyway?
是不是又一位美女
Is there a second fine lady in the house?
和她迷恋的某个男生一起
Some guy she's totally into.
我不敢相信她居然对我不忠
I can't believe she's cheating on me.
她没有对你不忠 她都不知道有你这个人
She's not cheating on you. She barely knows you exist.
不对 我们只是关系进展地比较慢而已
No, see, our relationship is just developing slowly.
-
不 你们根本没关系 - 不 我们有关系
-
No, there is no relationship. - Yes, there is.
-
没有 是你自己在臆想而已 - 不
-
No, it's all in your head! - no,
不是的 连我妈妈都知道我们两个的关系
it's not, 'cause even my mum know about it
好了 我们学到哪儿了
Now then, where were we?
知道吗 其实 我记得你刚才坐得更近些的
You know, actually, I think you were a little bit closer.
好了 细胞呼吸作用
All right-- cellular respiration.
- 你介意吗 - 一点也不
- Do you mind? - not at all.
趁这个时候
While we're at it--
-
你们干吗呢 - 噢 Gabe
-
What are you doing? - Oh! gabe!
-
你想怎么样啊 - 吃晚饭
-
What do you want? - Dinner!
一整天都没人给我做饭
Nobody's fed me all day!
我仍然还是这个家的一员 对吧
And I am still part of this family, right?
冰箱里还有个吃了一半的三明治
There's a half-eaten sandwich in the fridge
自己去吃吧
Knock yourself out.
现在好了 所有兄弟都搞定了
All right. Now my brothers are all taken care of.
-
太好了 - 那就再也不会有人打搅我们了
-
Good. - And there will be no more interruptions.
-
Teddy - 哦 天呐
-
Teddy! - Oh, god!
-
你想干嘛 - 我需要你
-
What do you want?! - I need you
照看下宝宝
to watch the baby for a sec.
不
No!
不
No!
谁也不准告诉妈妈
Nobody tells mom!
到这儿来 Charlie
Come here, Charlie.
好了
Oh, yes.
- Charlie 没事 - 哦 但是我有事
- Charlie's fine. - Ooh! But I'm not.
嗯 Teddy
Uh, Teddy,
叫 PJ 去启动卡车
Tell PJ to fire up the bug truck,
我想我得去趟医院
I think I gotta go to the hospital.
还有 Teddy 接下来你得照顾下宝宝
Oh, and Teddy, you're gonna have to watch the baby.
不 好吧
No! Okay.
放松点 十分钟后就到医院
Relax, be the hospital in 10 mintues
知道了 拜托尽快
Okay, just please please hurry.
噢 哇 我的屁股像被火烧了
Oh, wow! My butt is on fire!
真是奇怪
That is so weird!
上周 Emmett 和我写一首歌
Last week, Emmett and I wrote a song
正好就叫这个名字
With that exact same title.
那太好了 儿子 不过拜托你千万别唱
That's great, son. just please don't sing--
- 我的屁股像被火烧 - 别唱了
- My butt is on fire! ? - Stop it.
面积和轮胎一个大小
It's the size of a tire!
别唱了
Stop it!
- 拳打甲壳虫 - 噢 你在干嘛
- Punch buggy! - Ow! What are you doing?!
（Punch buggy 为一种车内游戏，谁先看到甲壳虫汽车便可打对方一拳，对方不能还手）
拜托你好好开车行不
Could you drive, please?!
- 你想玩认车牌游戏吗 - 不想
- Hey, you want to play license plate game? - No!
密歇根州
Michigan.
- 也许我该走了 - 不
- Maybe I should go. - no!
嗯 她马上就喝完这瓶了
Um, she's almost done with bottle
然后她就会睡觉了
And then she'll go right to sleep.
我们就能约会了 我意思是学习
Then we can studly-- I mean study.
看看我们学到哪儿了
Now, uh, where were we?
好了
Okay.
- 哦 - 什么是细胞呼吸作用
- Yeah. - What is cellular respiration?
就是葡萄糖及其他化合物
That's when glucose and other compounds
发生氧化反应释放化学能
oxidize to produce chemical energy,
- 还有水和二氧化碳 - 嗯哼
- water and carbon dioxide. - Mm-hmm.
也被称为屁
Also known as poop.
哦 老天
Oh, boy.
忍着点 老爸
Hang in there, dad.
哇哦 屁股火区扩散了
Wow! Butt fire spreading.
- 医生在哪里 - 我去找找
- Where's the doctor? - I'll go see.
等等 等等 等等
Okay, wait wait wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
等等 我们可不想让妈妈发现我们在这儿 是不
Wait. wait. We don't want mom to know we're here, right?
所以小心点
So please be careful.
尽量别引人注意
Just try and blend in.
老爸 拜托
Dad, come on.
这样帅气的脸怎么可能不引人注意
It's hard for this to blend in.
那就想个办法
Just figure something out.
想办法
"figure something out."
想个办法
"figure something out."
妈妈
Mom!
你是医生吗
You're the doctor?
是的
Yes.
我是
I am.
我是医生
I am doctor...
是 Chandrasooleewan 医生
Shh-- Chandrasooleewan.
- 你是印第安人吗 - 我们更愿意被称为美国原住民
- Are you Indian? - We prefer to be called Native American.
你真的是个医生吗
Are you sure you're a real doctor?
你看起来太年轻了
You look kinda young.
你说话口气跟我老婆一样
You sound like my wife.
好了 嗯
Okay, uh--
你哪儿出问题了
What seems to be the problem?
有个鱼钩扎在我嘴唇上了
I have a fish hook in my lip!
- 怎么搞成这样的 - 我爸爸不是很擅长钓鱼
- How'd this happen? - My dad is not a very good fisherman.
嘿 我爸爸不是很擅长上下楼梯
Hey, mine's not a very good walking-down-the-stairs man.
那么
So--
我猜你得有九十七磅吧
I'm guessing you're a 97-pounder.
嘘 乖宝宝
Hush, little baby
快睡觉
Go beddy-bye
Teddy想吻那个很帅的男孩
Teddy wants to kiss a really cute guy.
怎么样了
How's it going?
不错 孩子快睡着了
Well, we're getting there.
啧啧啧 看看这是谁啊
Well well well. What have we here?
Emmett 你怎么还在这儿
Emmett, why are you still here?
我在找厨房
Well, I was looking for the kitchen,
但是我好像不小心进了舞厅
But I seem to have stumbled upon the ballroom.
- 你好 - Teddy 我是你隔壁的 Dabney 女士
- hello? - Teddy, it's Mrs Dabney from next door.
没有 我没看见你的猫
No, I have not seen your cat.
我叫你是因为你弟弟
I'm calling about your brother;
他要把我家都吃空了
He's eating me out of house and home
Gabe 离我的馅饼远点
Gabe! Step away from the pie!
知道了 我马上来
Okay, I'll be right there.
等下 Spencer 我两分钟后回来
All right. spencer, I'll be back in like two minutes.
千万别走 Emmett 出去走走
Don't go anywhere. emmett, go somewhere.
你对我的女朋友有何居心
So what do you think you're doing with my girlfriend?
她才不是你女朋友
She's not your girlfriend
好吧 也许我们两个该到门外
Okay, maybe me and you need to step outside...
这样你就能送我上自行车了
So you can walk me to my bike.
你是来给我做海绵擦浴的吗
You here to give me my sponge bath?
- PJ - 嗨 妈妈
- PJ? - Hey, mom.
你在这儿干什么
What are you doing here?
我告诉你我不会干什么吧
I'll tell you what I'm not doing here--
我不会给体毛旺盛的人做海绵擦浴的
Giving sponge baths to big hairy guys.
所以 妈妈 有什么事吗
So, mom, what's-- what's the happs?
有什么
What's--
嗨 亲爱的
Hey, honey!
- Bob - 干的漂亮 儿子
- Bob! - Nice work, son.
好了 到底出什么事了
Okay, what's going on here?
爸爸摔下楼梯了然后屁股开花了
Dad fell down the stairs and broke his butt.
- 你那时没抱着孩子吧 - 呃 我本来抱着呢
- You weren't holding the baby, were you? - Um, yes--
然后脱手了 再然后又抱着了
Then no, then yes again.
Bob 你答应过我这个孩子不能再摔了
Bob, you promised me you weren't gonna drop this one!
亲爱的 听着 这只是个小小的意外而已
Honey, look, it was just a little accident.
顺便说句 我那一接太精彩了 足以载入史册了
Oh, and by the way, for the record-- an amazing catch!
我就知道我犯了个天大的错误
I knew this was a huge mistake.
我真不应该回来工作的
I never should've gone back to work.
宝贝 没事的
Sweetheart, this is all gonna be okay.
不 不 才不会没事
No. no, it's not.
这也太难了 我做不来
It's too hard. I can't do this.
我意思是说 我怎么会天真到以为我可以一边全职工作
I mean, what made me think I could go back to work full time
一边照顾好四个孩子
and take care of four kids?
我真是个糟糕的母亲
I'm a terrible mother.
不 不 你不是的
No no, you're not.
听着 如果真要追究责任那也只能怪我是个糟糕的父亲
Look, if anything, I'm a horrible father.
我知道
I know!
你们两个冷静点好吗
Would you guys chill?
你们是很棒的父母
You're great parents.
我 Teddy Gabe 现在都很不错啊
Teddy, gabe and me turned out pretty good.
是的 别难过了
Yeah, come on.
我们还是做对了不少事情
We've got to be doing something right.
我是说 嘿 快看 我们的儿子当医生了
I mean, hey, look at this-- our son's a doctor.
我是认真的 我们两个都得忙工作
I'm serious. With both of us working,
可怜的小 Charlie 就又没人照顾了
Poor little Charlie doesn't stand a chance.
放心吧 没人会让你一个人照顾的孩子的
Come on, no one's going solo on this.
我们几个小孩都会帮你的
All us kids are gonna help out.
不管 Charlie 成长过程中出了什么差错
And if charlie gets a little messed up along the way,
我们会一起承担责任的
We can all share the blame.
Chandrasooleewan 医生 请到手术室
Dr Chandrasooleewan to the operating room.
真是忙个没完啊
It never ends!
Gabe
Gabe!
我很抱歉 Dabney 女士 但你
Sorry about that, Mrs Dabney, but you
也许不该让他进门的
probably shouldn't let him in.
我没让他进啊 他自己从猫洞里爬进来的
I didn't let him in. He crawled through the cat door.
Gabe 你有什么要对 Dabney 女士说吗
Gabe, is there something you want to say to Mrs Dabney?
有啊
Yeah.
你明天晚上打算做什么吃
What are you fixing tomorrow night?
（fix 同有做饭和修理的意思）
修理猫洞
The cat door.
我会保证锁好它的
Gonna make sure it's locked.
好了 我想我们要走了
Okay. I think we're done here.
- 晚安 - 现在确实安生了
- Good night. - It is now.
好了 我们回家吧
All right, let's go.
-
你在干嘛 - 哦 现在你突然
-
What are you doing? - Oh, so now you're suddenly
-
对我感兴趣了 - Gabe 你是我弟弟
-
interested in me? - gabe, you're my little brother.
我从来都没对你感过兴趣
I've never been interested in you.
我开玩笑呢
I'm kidding.
到底怎么了
What's going on?
自从这个宝宝来到世上
Ever since the baby arrived,
每个人都总是忽略我
Everyone's been ignoring me.
我觉得我成了隐形人
I feel like I'm invisible.
我就是个窝囊的排行中间的孩子
I'm just the loser middle kid...
就像你一样
Like you.
当个排行中间的孩子并没有让我变得窝囊啊
Just because I'm a middle kid doesn't make me a loser.
那是什么让你变得窝囊了
Then what does make you a loser?
我不窝囊 拜托
I am not a loser. Okay?
我本来也是最小的
And I was a baby once.
然后你来到了这世上
And then you came along.
开始我也不开心
And I was not happy about it.
但是后来我看到你在 PJ 身上撒尿 我就想
But then you peed on PJ and I thought,
嘿 给这个孩子一个机会吧
"Hey, give the kid a shot."
听着 总有一天你会像我看待你那样
Look, someday you're gonna feel the same way
看待 Charlie 的
about Charlie that I feel about you.
那么 你怎么看待我的
Well, how do you feel about me?
我这么说吧
Let's put it this way--
全校最帅的男生现在就在我们家里
The hottest guy in school is at our house right now,
而我现在却和你在一起
And I'm here with you.
看她多可爱啊
Look how cute she is.
我已经开始对她有好感了
I am warming up to her already!
好了 Charlie 已经睡着了 Gabe 在玩电子游戏
Okay, Charlie's asleep, Gabe's playing a video game
我们终于可以独处了
And we are finally alone.
嗨 大家好
Hey, everybody!
我尾骨撞伤了
I have a bruised coccyx.
哦 拜托
Oh, come on!
这个词太好玩了
That's a funny word.
尾骨
Coccyx!
医生给他开了止痛药
The doctor gave him pain medication.
是我吗 不好意思
Was that me? Sorry.
我那个地方还有点麻木
I'm a little numb down there.
呃 其实 是接我的人到了
Uh, actually, that's my ride.
当然是了
Of course it is.
很高兴见到你 小伙子
It's good to meet you, son.
哦 晚安 宝贝
Oh, good night, sweetheart.
晚安 先生
Good night, sir.
- 晚安 - 晚安
- Good night. - Good night.
尾骨
Coccyx!
这就是爸爸怎么抢走本属于我的初吻的
So that's how dad got my first kiss
你也第一次体验到了飞翔的感觉
And how you flew for the first time.
但是好消息是
But the good news is--
算了 根本没有好消息
Nah, there is no good news.
我收回刚才那句话 Spencer 给我发短信了
I take that back! It's a text from spencer!
他约我明天一起出去
He wants to hang out with me tomorrow night
去他家
At his house!
哦 我要去洗你吐在我衣服上的脏东西了
Oh! I've gotta go wash your puke out of my jacket.
哦 对了 还有一件事
Oh, and, uh, one more thing--
当你到了我这个年龄 遇到一个帅哥的话
When you're my age and you meet a cute boy,
在任何情况下都不要 千万不要
Do not, under any circumstances,
把他带回家来
ever ever bring him home.
因为如果你这么做的话 那么
Cause if you do, well--
祝你好运 Charlie
Good luck, Charlie.
哦 太舒服了
Oh, that's wonderful.
真是太感谢你帮我擦澡了
Thank you so much for doing this.
嗨 如果我不能为我的病人服务
Hey, if I can't be there for my patients,
那我还算什么假医生
What kind of pretend doctor am I?
那么 呃 你有没想过给你的全身
So, uh, do you ever think about shaving--
那个 剃个毛
Like, everywhere?
我剃过啊 上周剃的
I did-- last week.
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