It seemed I had everything I wanted. I had a stable job, good education, very supportive family, a wonderful husband who always tries to meet my needs and two adorable kids. But deep down, I still felt it was not enough. I knew there is a hole and darkness in my heart that made it so easy for me to get angry and I often complained about everything. I was not happy with myself and I knew my anger and anxiety hurt the people I loved. So, I wanted to change. I wanted to find an eternal power that I could rely on to give me peace. So I started looking for something or someone who could help me and give me hope. I tried attending different religious groups, like Baha’i and Buddhism. But none of them worked out for me. Something was just not right. Then, I believe, it was God’s Holy Spirit that led me to Jesus Christ. (The Bible says, “God has put eternity into man’s heart”.(Ecclesiastes 3:11) We can’t be in peace until we find Him or should I say He found me!)
It was last year when a friend of mine would occasionally bring me to Bethlehem Baptist Church. Every time I stepped in the church, attended a worship service or joined small group Bible study I felt peaceful. I became eager to know God and his word. And the more I learned about God, the more it made sense to me. I finally understood what had been torturing me from my past. It was my sin of pride, insecurity, self-sufficiency…. I confessed my sins to Jesus. Most importantly, I understood that God loves me unconditionally. His love is endless so that he could even die for me on the cross. Romans 5:8 says, “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
As I look back on my life, I believe God has been there for me all the time. Everything that has happened in my life has been his work. He is the true God but I just could not see him or hear him until He opened my eyes to see the spiritual things. Before coming to Christ, I felt lucky for the good circumstances in my life, but I didn’t appreciate God’s love and his power until I finally accepted him as the Lord of my life.
Now, whenever I feel insecure, I pray. Through prayer, the Lord has been bringing me calm and peace. It’s so good to know Jesus will be always there for me when I am weak, when I need support, and when I am hurting badly. It’s wonderful to know that I can always rely on him. Although life is still full of challenges and unexpected obstacles, I am becoming more humble. I kneel down in front of God. I trust God is doing the best for me. And I know he is helping me to change, to adjust my attitudes and my character. He wants me to become a better person to myself and to the people I love. He is making me more and more like Jesus. (Rom 8:29)
Believing in Jesus Christ has helped me to recognize my sins and has given me the opportunity to do more self-examination. I try to learn to love the way he showed us. It is difficult and I am still struggling, because God’s character is amazing, perfect and unattainable, and I, as a human, am so weak, so sinful, and so easy to lose myself. But, then, every time when I feel I can’t do it, he once again uses his powerful words and his people to encourage me, to heal me.
Thank you Jesus, my Lord. You are the true God. May you heal me and live in my life with me forever.
The reason I want to be baptized today is because I want to put my trust and faith in him completely. Jesus has given me a new life and from now on I will not be afraid because he has become my Lord and my savior.
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