《盖茨是这样培养的》，作者是比尔盖茨的父亲，老威廉·H·盖茨，通常被称为老比尔盖茨。
这本书的英文名其实是《Showing up for life》，乍一看上去和中文书名完全没有关系。
老比尔盖茨写这本书的原因是，在比尔盖茨创建微软后，总有人问他，是如何培养出这么优秀的儿子的。于是他想到如果把他的孩子成长时期的家庭生活和经历分享给大家的话，可能对那些感兴趣的家庭有所启发和帮助。他写到“We are all in this life together and we need each other”。
因此，这本书其实是老比尔盖茨对自己家庭生活的分享，通过对过往经历的回忆，展现他和家人的家庭关系，亲子关系，家庭教育观念以及他的家庭的邻里关系和社会责任。
所以，书的内容并不是像中文书名看上去，写他是如何培养比尔盖茨的。只是非常偶尔的提到了比尔盖茨的一些想法和作为受到了家庭影响，仅此而已。
今天，我想分享的是书中的一个章节“Mary’s Wedding Toast”，这是比尔盖茨的母亲Mary写给比尔盖茨的妻子Melinda的婚礼祝酒词。
其中一些文字是触动了我的，能够感受到一个母亲对未来儿媳的一些叮嘱和美好的祝福。因此，也分享给你。
Mary's Wedding Toast
I remember helping Mary prepare a toast to Trey and Melinda that took the form of a letter to Melinda, based on the wedding vows. We cherish a picture of her delivering the toast, looking vibrant and beautiful. Here is Mary's letter.
注：比尔盖茨的家人叫他Trey。Melinda是比尔盖茨的妻子。
Dear Melinda:
In just a few hours you will be married and you and I will share the same name!
Although Bill and I have been married forty-two years, we continue to learn what it means to be married.
“To love and to cherish”
Celebrate his good points and remember you don't have to love everything about him. If you see some things about him that you simply have to improve upon (things his mother did not get just right) recognize… reforming a husband is a long term project and it doesn't always work out. Sometimes it is better to reform one's own expectations.
去爱去珍惜
称赞他的优点
爱对方但不用爱对方的一切。
改变对方是个大工程，而且很有可能会让你失望。
比起改变对方，不如改变自己的预期。
“For better or for worse”
Don't expect calm waters. Pray for courage. Keep your sense of humor. No man and woman ever had a perfectly harmonious marriage. A good marriage takes effort, resilience and suppression of personal ego, but the fundamental requirement is living with the fixed vision that your relationship is permanent and forever.
生活不总是风平浪静的。
要鼓起勇气面对。
保持幽默感。
不存在完美和谐的婚姻。
好的婚姻需要努力，需要适应，需要抑制以自我为中心
这一切的基础是要坚信婚姻是永恒和永远的
“In sickness and in health”
As you know in the last few months, we have had a chance to reflect quite directly on promises to stand by one another in sickness and in health. This challenge has brought a new depth to our relationship.
Mary在写这封信的时候已经身患癌症，因此这里说到“在过去的几个月里，我们有机会充分的感受有福同享有难同当的誓言”。患难见真情。
Of course, the waters have not always been smooth, but I can't imagine not being married to Bill! I hope you will have this same feeling 42 years from now about your Bill Gates.
生活当然不总是一帆风顺的，但是我无法想象如果没有嫁给老比尔盖茨生活会怎样。我希望未来的你也和我以一样，对你的比尔盖茨有这种感觉。
这绝对是一个婚姻幸福的长辈，对晚辈最好的婚姻祝福。
Love,
Mary
In delivering this toast orally Mary shared a quote from the Bible, the Gospel of Luke XII 48: “For unto whom much is given, of him shall be much required.” This has become the basis of one of the two main values of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
这里引用了圣经里的一句话“那些被给予很多的人，应该被要求的更多。”这也是比尔及梅琳达·盖茨基金会建立的两个基本价值观之一。
Mary passed away on June 10, 1994.
祝酒词虽然不长，但能感受到，这是一个生活幸福的长辈对婚姻的真实感悟。
用自己42年的生活经历和对婚姻的思考，告诉孩子们，生活不总是风平浪静的，但我仍然很爱我的伴侣。
相信永恒。
最后，让我们看看有哪些可以学习的英语词汇和表达：
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prepare a toast to…
准备向…祝酒
toast
祝酒；干杯
Now, if you'd all please raise your glasses, I'd like to propose a toast to the bride and groom.
现在请大家都举起杯来，我提议为新娘新郎干杯。
Champagne corks popped and the guests drank a toast to the happy couple.
香槟酒瓶砰地打开了，客人们举杯为这对幸福的伉俪干杯。
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wedding vows
结婚誓言
vow
誓言；誓约 She took/made a vow never to lend money to anyone again.她发誓再也不借钱给别人了。
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celebrate his good points
赞扬他的长处
celebrate
赞扬，赞美；歌颂
His work celebrates the energy and enthusiasm of the young.他的作品赞颂年轻人的活力和热情。 point
特点；特质；特征
There are various points to look out for when you're judging dogs in a competition.在比赛中要根据各方面的特点对狗作出评判。
He's boring, but I suppose he has his good points.他很乏味，但我认为他也有长处。
I think her kindness is one of her strong points (= one of her good qualities).我觉得为人和气是她的优点之一。
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it doesn’t always work out
(改变对方)不总是有进展
work out
发生；发展
How is the new monitoring procedure working out?新的监督程序运行得如何？
Let's hope this new job works out well for him.希望这项新工作会非常适合他。
📖
A good marriage takes effort, resilience and suppression of personal ego,…
好的婚姻需要努力，需要适应，需要抑制以自我为中心
suppression
抑制，忍住，压抑；查禁
the suppression of free speech对言论自由的压制
the illegal suppression of evidence非法扣留证据
ego
自我评价；自我中心；自负；自尊心
That man has such an enormous ego - I've never known anyone so full of themselves!那个人自负得要命——我从来没有见过这么自以为是的人。
I'm glad she got the job - she needed something to boost/bolster her ego (= give her confidence).我很高兴她得到了这份工作——她太需要点什么来增强她的信心了。
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stand by one another in sickness and in health
不论健康与疾病，都互相支持
stand by sb
站在（某人）一边，继续支持（或帮助）She has vowed to stand by her husband during his trial.她发誓在丈夫受审期间会一直支持他。
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