I’m feeling quite down in this long long day.
Like a balloon blowing in my brain and generally leak its gas, then space vanished, a hole was left. That’s mostly how I can discribed the moment I got the news: I am out; what’s worse, the pain and regret come up not immediately but hours later ,finally, like old friend you lost in mind.
The only reason I put my experience into English because such a fool mistake I made and so shamed to share this three years' marching, meanwhile I badly need a tunnel to spit it out. Or I may got sick for rethinking it again and again.
Third year trying to be a teacher in a middle school, second time challenge the same position, and failed in the same part of testing. That’s the frustration caught me at June 10th.
When time rolled back to August 2014, I migrate to Quanzhou, the city I will call it home years later. A good antique city, special affect to youth who like culture environment.
The year I arrived, me and my wife got the ergency trying to be proved (actually only me), by entering a public school and be a teacher who were thought stable at work.
Three times means three years, I am not good at preparing this kind of test. I may say, didn’t got the mood to be a public teacher at all. I didn’t past the paper exam first time. Then comes the second year’s studying, failed again cauz not working hard and not familiar. Third year I switched my job and been a primary school teacher. Felt relaxed for a while, but we two are clear that is not a good position fit me. So another year was spend on the same boring books. Of course “studying” wasn’t the only thing I finished through the year. But pitty and lost still drowned me, at the moment I know my time was proved to be nothing again.
I tried through this weekend to correct my mind.People persuade me that pls just forget it, let it go and march on. Satirically the words are familiar because they were used to comfort others by me. Ha!
What I am facing was not only an examination and face interview, it’s my two years’ spare time donating to this project, all the uneasy moments I met and gettin through. Experience shows his power upon person who are lack of it. People tried to comfort me, but I just wanna stay in my time zone and be occupied by the feeling. Dam!
Well now, feeling better.
With this article I can spit my experience out, hoping that I will not be too sad and weak to march on，Today is a good sunny day, hot though.Look into myself again.
I am Richard, a primary school IT teacher now, always a Hi-Tech lover, like to read, write and photographing. I need to set clear goals for the days following. Not good and strong enough, but I will make it better.
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