为方便家长们学到最原汁原味的正面管教知识，我从国外找来一些正面管教资料。以下为正面管教英文站的译文（注：本人英文水平有限，以下内容是谷歌在线直译得来的，欢迎英语水平好的家长校正，我只是知识里的搬运工），更多详细的内容可以参考早期学习正面管教网友分享的正面管教揭密内容。
赢了孩子是大人用控制、惩罚的手段战胜了孩子；
Winning a child is that adults defeat a child by means of control and punishment.
而赢得孩子是指大人维护孩子的尊严，以尊重孩子的态度对待孩子（和善而坚定），相信孩子有能力与大人合作并贡献他们的一份力量。
Winning children means that adults safeguard their children's dignity, treat children with respect (kindness and firmness), and believe that children have the ability to cooperate with adults and contribute to them.
赢了孩子，孩子就成了失败者，而失败通常会导致孩子反叛或盲目顺从。
If a child wins, the child becomes a loser, and failure usually leads to rebellion or blind obedience.
赢得孩子则意味着孩子心甘情愿的合作。
Winning a child means that the child is willing to cooperate.
那如何赢得孩子呢？
So how do you win children?
《正面管教》一书里给出了四个步骤：
Four steps are given in the book Positive Discipline:
第一、要表达出你对孩子感受的理解。一定要向孩子核实你的理解是对的。
First, express your understanding of how your child feels. Be sure to verify to your child that your understanding is correct.
第二、要表达出你对孩子的同情，而不是宽恕。
Second, express your sympathy for your children, not forgiveness.
同情并不表示你的认同或者宽恕孩子的行为，而只是意味着你理解孩子的感受。这时，你如果告诉孩子，你也曾有过类似的感受或行为，效果会更好。
Compassion does not mean that you agree or forgive your child's behavior, but that you understand his feelings. At this time, if you tell your child that you have experienced similar feelings or behaviors, the effect will be better.
第三、告诉孩子你的感受。如果你真诚而友善地进行了前面两个步骤，孩子此时会更愿意听你说了。
Third, tell your child how you feel. If you take the first two steps sincerely and kindly, the child will be more willing to listen to you at this time.
第四、让孩子关注于解决问题。问孩子对于避免将来再出现这类问题有什么想法。如果孩子没有想法，你也可以提出一些建议，直到你们达成共识。
Fourth, let children focus on problem solving. Ask your child what he or she thinks about avoiding such problems in the future. If the child has no idea, you can also make some suggestions until you reach a consensus.
在赢得孩子的过程中，我们一定要注意说话的语气。孩子往往都是观察力的专家，而我们说话的语气往往最能准确地表达出我们言语背后的感觉。
In the process of winning children, we must pay attention to the tone of speech. Children are often experts in observation, and the tone of our speech is often the most accurate expression of the feelings behind our speech.
当一个人问“你从这件事中学到了什么？”时，既可以是一种责备和羞辱的口气，也可以用一种表达同情和兴趣的语气。
When a person asks, "What have you learned from this?" It can be a tone of reproach and humiliation, as well as a tone of sympathy and interest.
切记，只有以友善、关心和尊重的态度对待孩子时才能赢得孩子的合作，孩子们只有在感受到你的倾听之后，他们才会更可能听你的。
Keep in mind that only when children are treated with friendliness, care and respect can they win their cooperation. Children are more likely to listen to you only after they feel your listening.
当孩子觉得你理解他们的观点时，他们就会受到鼓励。一旦他们觉得自己被理解了，也会更愿意听取父母的观点，并努力找出解决问题的方法。
Children are encouraged when they feel you understand their point of view. Once they feel they are understood, they will be more willing to listen to their parents'opinions and try to find solutions to their problems.
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