“一年好景君须记,最是橙黄橘绿时”,眼下正是“好景”时节,遂与“美丽的景色”为题,让学生写写心中的美景。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/b1d9583b2a2495e8.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/86bed053d544dff0.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/b65e679106437bdc.jpg)
从题目的要求来看,写作的重点应该放在自然景色上,写人的活动只是次要部分。这样内容才能更加切题。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/8f384a585b9552b2.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/3f28a811a6ee2fc6.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/917df5e6b10e0131.jpg)
这篇作文写得很好,文章开门见山,交代自己要写的景色。然后️以行踪为序,步步写来,把沿途的景色写得美丽动人,读来引人入胜 。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/0f86bdbd4e4e3bdb.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/885d15c3993562d4.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/b694aabdd430d8b9.jpg)
这篇文章内容很充实。但有一点小瑕疵,全文读来,景虽美,却有一些程式化,家乡最有特色的风景没有写出来,文章韵味不够淳厚。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/e885f636a01e87aa.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/ed510d6d33fafc46.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/5923ea336cf2e3a8.jpg)
本文写秋景,注意从自己的生活中获取材料,这是可取之处,读来挺真实,如果把景色再写细致一些,并用上恰当的修辞手法,文章的效果会更好。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/059ffa4658494065.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/e3cb32a1d2301659.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/6815c1d661448c63.jpg)
这篇文章的内容有点乱,写的景色是哪个季节,从内容看,秋、冬、春都要,季节间缺乏相应的衔接与过渡,削弱了文章的表达效果。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/39b7b3f0d683a4c8.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/54c9952c2c745e90.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/1c748dd03b9f073c.jpg)
这篇文章以凤凰湖为对象,极写湖之美,内容自然、充实,很有感染力。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/659e14e02dae2abb.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/2a73501d2512af2b.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/2132dcdd29d55d21.jpg)
本文的内容有点乱,开头写秋,很快又转到春天、夏天,最后又回到秋天,景物虽多,却不够深入,建议就只写秋天的景色,这样效果会更好。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/f455ceb3cf220a3c.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/01f95d1dea3c4755.jpg)
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/da2acefdf55fceed.jpg)
写一个季节反而更好,这样才能写得更加深入。
![](https://img.haomeiwen.com/i4949827/49592f38ee1e19cd.jpg)
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