No one is coming

We are going to do a lot of believing in ourselves.

I believe in you. You can do well. You can succeed.

Take responsibility for your life.

Stop blaming. Stop blaming the government.

Stop blaming your teachers. Stop blaming your parents.

It is up to you to succeed.

Marva Collins

“Positive Learning”

I think I did pretty wonderful. (我想我做得很好)

I think I’m bright. I think I am unique. (我想我很聪明 我很特别)

And I’ll teach every child of me to think that. (我会教每个孩子这样想)

When they misbehave,(当他们不守规矩的时候)

Their punishment is they have to write 100 reasons (他们的惩罚就是要写100个原因)

Why they are too wonderful to do what they are doing. (说明为什么他们棒到要做那样的事)

And they have to be alpha order. (而且它们要按字母顺序写)

I am adorable. I am beautiful. I am courageous. (我很可爱 我很漂亮 我很勇敢)

I give them the first ones until they get the hang out of it. (我给他们例子直到他们明白)

I am delightful. I am effervescent. I am fabulous. (我令人快乐 我很兴奋 我很厉害)

I am heavenly. I am idolized. I am just wonderful. (我很棒 我是榜样 我无与伦比)

I am a kindred spirit. I am lovable. I am momentous. (我很热情 我很可爱 我很重要)

I am never, never under line. (我从不调皮)

And it goes on to z.And if they do it again, (一直写到最后一个字母 如果他们再犯)

Then they have to use another synonym. (他们必须要用另一个同义词)

They can’t use adorable any more. (他们不能再用可爱了)

Now the children will say to a new student, (现在孩子们会对新学生说)

I know why you don’t behave. (我知道你为什么不守规矩了)

Coz I’m tired of telling Ms.Collins how wonderful I am. (因为我厌倦告诉Ms.Collins我有多棒了)

She herself is the message as a role model. (她本身就是榜样)

And she studied with her kids, role models. (她和孩子们学习榜样)

They read fiction books. They read historical books. (他们读小说 历史书)

They read books about heroes and talk about heroes. (他们读关于英雄的书 谈论英雄的事)

They all identify role models. (他们都认清了谁是榜样)

They identify role models in their neighbourhood, (他们从社区里挑出榜样)

in their families, constantly doing that, (在家庭里挑出榜样 不断地这样做)

which is exactly what you need to cultivate resilience. (这就是你培养适应力要做的事)

First an foremost, she herself is the role model. (首先 她就是榜样)

She has high expectations. (她有着很高的期望)

We are going to do a lot of believing in ourselves. (我们要大量练习自信)

We are going to do well, succeed. (我们要表现优秀 我们要成功)

She expects a lot. She sees the potential. (她有很多期待 她能看到潜力)

She appreciates that potential in each individual. (她欣赏每个人的潜力)

Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for your life. (停止抱怨别人 承担自己生活的责任)

Marva Collins is no push-over. (Marva Collins并不是软弱的人)

If you see her in the classroom, she is tough. She is demanding. (教室里的她要求很严格)

At the same time, she respects each individual. (同时 她尊重每个人)

She is not one of the Pollyannish ”feel-good”, (她不是不切实际的“感觉良好”)

“let’s make them all feel good” at all cost. (我们不惜一切代价让他们感觉良好)

Not at all.(根本不是)

She believes in them. She respects them. (她相信他们 她尊重他们)

And she is tough and demanding—(而且她要求很严格)

important combination for leadership. (这是领导的重要因素)

It’s why I mentioned earlier (这就是为什么我之前提到)

in the context of great leadership book. (它是一本好的领导书籍)

There are many very nice ex-CEOs (有很多非常和善的前总裁)

whose primary aim was to be nice and to be liked, (他们的主要目标就是和善和受欢迎)

the keys to get he job done, (完成工作的关键)

to get the work done, (完成事情的关键)

while being respectful. (同时也要尊重他人)

Sense of optimism. (她有乐观精神)

You can do well. (你可以做好)

You are going to do well, (你会做得很好)

helping them set goals for themselves and for community. (帮助他们为自己和社区设立目标)

And finally, (最后)

from focusing on deficiencies to focusing on strength. (从专注缺点到专注优点)

Howard Gardner from the ED(Education)school here talks about (来自教育学校的Howard Gardner)

multiple intelligences, says that we need to stop asking (谈到了多元智力 他说我们要停止问)

whether or not a student is smart. (一个学生是否聪明)

What we need to ask is what is the student smart at. (我们要问这个学生有什么优点)

And when we identify what that student is smart at, (认清这个学生的优点)

strong at, virtuous at, good at, then we appreciate it. (长处之后 我们便欣赏它)

And when we appreciate it, (当我们欣赏它的时候)

it and the whole person appreciates. (优点和那整个人都会增值)

What would happen to a seed—seed is potential—(假如有一粒种子…种子是有潜力的)

flower, tree—what would happen to a seed, (它会长成花草树木…假如有一粒种子)

if it is not watered, if no light is shed on it? (如果它没有受到灌溉 没有阳光照耀会怎样？)

It will wither and die. (它会枯萎死去)

The exact same thing with human potential. (人类的潜力也是这样)

If we don’t water it, if we don’t shed a light on it, (如果我们不灌溉它 如果我们不照耀它)

it will wither and die. (它会枯萎死去)

The same with interpersonal relationship potential. (人际关系也是这样)

If we don’t—we’ll talk a lot about relationships: (如果我们…我们会经常谈到关系)

how to cultivate healthy long-term relationships—(如何培养健康长期的关系)

if you don’t water it, if you don’t shed light, (如果你不灌溉它 不照耀它)

if you don’t appreciate the good, the good will depreciate. (如果你不欣赏它的好处 好处就会贬值)

Essentially, (本质上)

what Marva Collins does is create for students—(Marva Collins所做的)

what the research in resilience does is (也就是适应力的作用就是)

create a very different model than the conventional wisdom. (缔造一个与传统智慧不同的榜样)

The paradigm shift essentially is from being a passive victim (范式转移实质上是从被动接受者…)

because the government is not putting enough money, (也就是政府没有投入足够资金)

which is an issue, not belittling it. (这是一个问题 应该重视)

It’s important to have those external (用外部条件 比如资源)

affect the internal like more resources. (影响内在性格很重要)

But that’s not enough. (但那并不足够)

From an inactive, from a passive victim, (从一个不积极 被动的受害者)

she changes her perspectiveto be an active agent. (成为一个主动地人 她改变了看法)

You are not “unteachable”. (你并非“不可教”)

You can thrive. You can do well. You can succeed. (你可以发展 你可以做好 你可以成功)

And what she does, essentially, (而她所做的实质上)

is take them to the extreme of continuum, because every event, (就是把他们带到连续体的极点)

every person can be situated somewhere along this continuum, (因为每件事每个人都处于连续体的某处)

I mean different places with different things. (我是说 不同的地方和不同的事物)

Think about your own life. (想想你自己的生活)

What are you? (你是哪种人？)

passive victim in different situations or an active agent? (各种情况的被动受害者还是主动者？)

But let’s say my girlfriend leaves me. (但是假如我女朋友离开了我)

If I am the passive victim, what I experience is self-pity. (如果我是被动受害者 那我只会自怜)

Feel sorry for myself. Roominate—remember the word? (为自己感到难过 思考)

Roominate about the situation and how terrible it is. (思考这种情况以及他有多糟糕)

From a passive victim, I then move to blame: she’s terrible; (我从一个被动受害者变成抱怨者 她很糟糕)

it’s her fault; I blame her; (都是她的错 我怨她)

I blame my parents, the way they raise me; (我抱怨我的父母 他们养育不当)

I blame her parents, I blame President Bush or whomever. (我抱怨她的父母 我抱怨布什总统)

And after I blame, I experience frustration as well as anger. (抱怨之后 我变得沮丧和愤怒)

Anger toward her, toward my parents, her parents, (对她生气 对我父母生气 对她父母生气)

President Bush, Hilary, whoever it is. I feel anger. (布什总统 希拉里 总之我很愤怒)

And results—very few results. (结果呢 很少结果)

Because I wallow in illumination and self-pity. (因为我沉迷于反思和自怜中)

Let’s take the other extreme of the active agent. (我们再反观积极主动者)

First of all, by definition, I take action. (首先 从定义来看 我会行动)

I take responsibility. (我承担责任)

I go on to places after experiencing the pain—(经历痛苦之后我会到处走走)

it’s painful, and next time we are going to talk about (它很痛苦 下节课我们会谈谈)

theimportance of experiencing the pain of giving ourselves (经历痛苦的重要性)

what I called the permission to be human, (谈谈允许自己人性化)

but once I experience it, I take action. (但是我经历痛苦之后 我会行动)

I go out there to places where I will meet someone. (我去能认识他人的地方)

I go to Pinnochio’s(Pizza place at Harvard), (我去匹诺曹（哈佛的比萨店）)

Or another meeting place, the Stax in Whitener (?) (或者另一个约会地点)

Well I guess things have changed (我想时世变迁了)

at Harvard since I was an undergrad. (现在的哈佛和我毕业时的不同了)

I take responsibility for it. (我承担责任)

And then as a result of that—(这样做的结果是…)

and we’ll talk about research on self-perception theory, (我们会谈谈自我认识理论)

research by Darl Bem. (它是Darl Bem的研究)

I’ll take action and action will increase our level of confidence (我会行动 行动会增加我们的自信)

And then morehopeandoptimismis a result. (结果是更多的希望和乐观)

As we talk about belief in self-fulfilling prophecy lecture, (就像在自我应验预言课程中所说的)

hope and optimism become a self-fulfilling prophecy. (希望和乐观会变成自我应验预言)

I’m much more likely to find someone. (我更容易找到伴侣)

I’m certainly much more likely to be happy. (我更可能变得开心)

Once again, being an active agent (重申一次 作为积极主动者)

does not mean not giving ourselves the time, (并不意味着不给我们自己时间)

the space, the permission to experience painful emotions, (空间去让自己感受痛苦的情感)

to go through the emotion. (以及摆脱这种情感)

Yes, by all means, we go through it. However, (没错 我们一定会摆脱它 然而)

what it is also saying is that we need to find the right time—(我们要在适合的时间)

it could be immediately, it could be a day or two later—(它可能是现在 可能是一两天后)

to take action, to take responsibility, to do things so that (去行动 去承担责任 去做事情 这样)

our confidence levels in our hope and optimism increase. (我们对希望和乐观的自信就会增加)

Nathaniel Branden talks about six pillars (Nathaniel Branden谈到了六根支柱)

Six important pillars in self- esteem.(自尊的六根重要支柱)

One of those pillars isself-responsibility. (其中一根就是自我负责)

People who have high self-esteem take responsibility. (自尊心强的人会承担责任)

People who want to cultivate high self-esteem (想培养高自尊心)

and create confidence, take responsibility (培养自信的人会承担责任)

for their lives and so on. (承担生活的责任等等)

--Understanding that you have to (明白你必须)

take responsibility for you life is recognizing understanding (为生活承担责任就是理解)

that no one is coming. (没人会来)

No one is coming to—the knight in shining armour (没人会来…穿着闪亮铠甲的骑士)

who will take you to the happily-after land. (不会来带你到幸福乐园)

No one is coming to make your life better for you. (没人会来让你的生活更美好)

No one is coming. (没人会来)

You are responsible for your life, for your self-confidence, (你为自己的生活负责 获得自信)

for your self-esteem, for your happiness. (自尊 幸福)

No one is coming. (没人会来)

So he was talking about this in one of his workshops (他在研讨会上谈到了这个)

that’s a three-day workshop. (那是一个为期三天的研讨会)

And this was already on the third day (这已经是第三天了)

and the workshop was going well. (研讨会进展顺利)

The participants were getting a lot out of it. (参与者都学到了很多)

And he said, he told them about this idea that no one is coming. (他说 他告诉他们没人会来)

And one of the participants raises his hand and says, (其中一名参与者举手说)

“Dr.Branden, that’s not true.” (“Branden博士 事实并非这样”)

And Nathaniel Branden asks him,”What do you mean?” And he says, (Nathaniel Branden问他“为什么” 他说)

“Dr.Branden, you came”, to which Branden responded, (“Branden博士 你来了” Branden回应道)

“Yes, I came. But I came to tell you that no one is coming.” (“没错 我来了 但我是来告诉你没人会来”)

No one is coming. (没人会来)

It’s up to you to make the most out of this experience, (能否最大限度地从这次经历中获益全在于你)