原址：https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/principles-lifelong-meaningful-relationships-ray-dalio/
雷伊·达里奥，Ray Dalio，桥水基金（Bridgewater Associates）总裁，福布斯全球第88位。
我在此写下这两条原则，是因为我想到自己的儿子和他的未婚妻马上要结婚了。同时我想到我的另外两个已婚了的儿子和他们与他们的妻子的婚姻，也想到了我和我妻子43年的婚姻生活，我和我在桥水基金合伙人的几十年的合作关系，还有我其他的长期的深厚的其他各种情谊。这些种种的关系和与人的连接，是我生命当中最美好的事情。 同时我也觉得自己也应该将我所学到的如何拥有这么多美好有意义的一生之久的关系的一些原则分享给大家。
原则1：
能够建立起和维持这样真诚和伟大关系是要靠着一个毫不动摇的信念。这个信念就是，这关系比其他任何事情都要重要。
那是因为，在所有的关系中随着时间的推移，总会有不好的时候，和有很多分歧的时候，这包括很多很重要又很大的的分歧在内。是这样的信念和双方通过实践证明了的为之付出和负责的承诺，才造就了这样的意愿，这样大家可以一起想办法解决问题，然后大家才能一起度过这样不好的和有分歧的时候。双方都需要能够给出这样的承诺同时还要能看到对方也能如此做，这样才能拥有这样的一种关系。如果你们双方都很努力的去相信确实是这样的，然后也知行一致，也是这样去做的，它就会变成真的。但是如果你们不相信它，或者是口里一套行为一套，这样它就完全没有机会成真了。而真爱就是这样被证明的。
当然，在这样的关系和感情的初期，这似乎没有理由去相信没有任何事情事情比这段关系更加重要，然后双方对这段关系的共同的承诺会自然而然的在那里。因为这个信念还没有被很好的考验和验证。然而正因为是这样，所以你就需要有一个信仰，要相信它是真的，然后也当成它是真的这样来行动，同时看对方是否也如此行。不过当然，如果其他事情本来对你来说真正比这段关系更加重要，那这个信念也就完全无足轻重了。所以，当你面临这些关系低谷时候的挑战和遇到一些分歧的时候，在需要去做重要的诸如这些关系和其他事情什么更加重要的抉择的时候，你需要真正的好好想想这段关系相比于得到你想要的其他的来说，到底有多重要。因为你在这些时候所做的决定，要么会增强，要么就会削弱这段关系。
原则2：
如果你需要评估这段关系的价值，好好想想这段关系是否和你一直所秉承的理念和原则一致。然后把更加重要的理念和原则放到前面来，其他的其次。
在这样一个评估的过程中，请记住： a) 你所能拥有的这个世界上最伟大和最美好的事务就是这些伟大的关系，尤其是那些很重要的伟大的关系； b) 如果你不能克服这些关系中的一些分歧和美中不足，是无法能够长期的拥有和维护这些伟大的关系的。
译者：原则1，其实对于我们很多人来说很难理解。Faith，即中文翻译过来的信念，但是这个概念本身中西方的差异很大。因为在西方社会宗教作为一个普世的存在，有神论者对faith的接受更为自然。那就是，去接受和相信一些摸不着看不见的东西。所以在我们看来，我并不知道这段关系是不是很伟大，甚至都不知道他是否持久，我怎么才能有这样的信心信念呢。好在Dalio在文中也提到了，没到这个时候恰恰就是考验你们的时候，这个时候你的选择就决定了这段关系后续的走向，或者是越来越紧密要么就越来越淡薄了，但这个是一个必要的过程，需要你好好去权衡和思考的，其中一个考量标准又正好是第二条。
WDYT？（What do you think？你是怎么看的呢？）欢迎留言或者私信交流~
Original Essay:
I just wrote these two principles because I’m thinking about my son and his fiancé who are about to be married, I’m thinking about my two other married sons and their relationships with their wives, I’m thinking about my 43-year marriage with my wife, I’m thinking about the multi-decade partnerships with my partners at Bridgewater, and I’m thinking about my many other long and deep relationships. These relationships have been the best things in my life, and I’m thinking that I should pass along the principles I learned about how to have such meaningful lifelong relationships.
Principle 1):
What creates and sustains truly great relationships (like great marriages and great partnerships) is the unwavering belief that nothing is more important than the relationship.
That’s because in all relationships there will be bad times and disagreements including very big and important ones, and what is required to sustain relationships through those bad times and large and small disagreements is the belief that no issue is more important than the relationship. It is that belief and the mutual demonstrated commitment to it that creates the willingness to work things out so that the bad times and the disagreements are gotten through together. Each needs to give that type of commitment and to see the other give it in order to have the great relationship. If you both believe hard enough that that’s true and operate as though it is true, it will probably become true, and if you don’t believe it’s true or you don’t act as though it’s true it doesn’t have a chance of becoming true. It is that demonstrated that is true love.
Of course, in the early stage of a relationship there is no reason to believe that nothing is more important than the relationship and that the mutual commitments are there because that hasn’t been well tested. Because of that, you just have to have faith that it’s true and act as if it’s true and then see if the other person does the same. And of course, just the belief that the relationship is more important than the issues will not matter if the issues are really more important than the relationship. So, when facing those challenging bad times and disagreements in a relationship, and when making those important calls of what’s most important, you need to think hard about how important the relationship you have really is relative to how important getting your way is because the decisions you will make at those times either strengthen your relationship or weaken it.
Principle 2):
If you need to assess the value of your relationship, think hard about whether your most important values and principles are aligned, putting the really important ones ahead of the not so important ones.
In doing that assessment, please remember that a) the greatest things to have in life are great relationships, especially your most important relationships, b) you won’t be able to have great long-term relationships if you can’t get past the the disagreements and the imperfections because all relationships have disagreements and imperfections, c) no relationship will work in the long run if your most important values and principles are not aligned, and e) it takes a whole lot of trying and figuring things out in order come up with the best path.
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