day23-The road less traveled

       Even the speech patterns of neurotics and those with character disorders are different.The speech of the neurotic is notable for such expressions as "I ought to,"I should,"and "I shouldn't," indicating the individual's self-image as an inferior man or woman,always falling short of the mark,always making the wrong choices.The speech of a person with a character disorder,however,relies heavily on "I can't ," "I couldn't," "I have to," and "I had to," demonstrating a self-image of a being who has no power of choice,whose behavior is completely directed by external forces totally beyond his or her control. As might be imagined,neurotics,compared with character-disordered people,are easy to work with in psychotherapy because they assume responsibility for their difficulties and therefore see themselves as having problems.Those with character disorders are much more difficult,if not impossible,to work with because they don't see themselves as the source of their problems;they see the world rather than themselves as being in need of change and therefore fail to recognize the necessity for self-examination.In actuality,many individuals have both a neurosis and a character disorder and are referred to as "character neurotics," indicating that in some areas of their lives they fail to take realistic responsibility for themselves.Fortunately,once having established the faith and trust of such individuals in the psychotherapy process through helping them with the neurotic part of their personalities,it is often possible then to engage them in examing and correcting their unwillingness to assume responsibility where appropriate

            甚至神经质的人的言语模式与那些性格障碍的人也是不同的。神经质的人的说话值得注意的是这样的表达方式比如“我应当”，“我应该”，以及“我不应该”，表明个人的自我形象是低等的男人或女人，总是达不到目标，总是做出错误的选择。有性格障碍的人的说话方式，然而，严重依赖“我不能，”“我不会，”“我不得不,"以及”我不得不，“显示一个自我形象是没有选择能力的人，他的行为完全是外力引导的，完全超出了他或她的控制。可以想像得到，神经官能症患者，和有性格障碍的人相比，心理治疗很容易起作用因为他们他们为自己的困难承担责任因此认为自己有问题。治疗那些性格障碍的人则更加困难，如果不是不可能的话,因为他们不认为自己是问题的根源；他们认为世界而不是他们自己需要改变因此没有认识到自我检查的必要性。实际上，许多人既有神经官能症又有性格障碍因而被称为性格神经病，表明在他们生活的某些领域，他们没有为他们自己承担现实的责任。幸运地，一旦建立了信仰以及这些人对心理治疗过程的信任通过帮助他们性格中神经质的部分，通常有可能让他们参与进来在检查和纠正他们的不愿意从而去承担适当的责任。