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段子集锦:你也是佛系球迷?

段子集锦:你也是佛系球迷?

作者: 0e77ccc94dff | 来源:发表于2018-08-22 16:36 被阅读10次

    小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,马竞战胜皇马勇夺欧洲超级杯,切尔西赢下了与阿森纳的焦点之战,曼联爆冷输球,而曼城、巴萨等球队则纷纷顺利取胜。好了,话不多说,和摩羯君一起看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧

    焦点之战

    切尔西3-2阿森纳

    Shriek(阿森纳球迷):这次我不会受伤了,因为我的心已经麻木了。(Can't feel pain if we're already numb.)

    J_A_Y_x(阿森纳球迷):看看我厂的新后防线,感觉和皇帝的新装差不多吧…(Meet new Arsenal defending, I think the Emperors new clothes look quite like this.)

    SleepyDani(阿森纳球迷):看我厂比赛的感觉就像是养孩子,你盼望他能好好学习,但每次都给你带来学渣一样的成绩。但这又能怎样呢,难道还能放弃他咋地?(Watching arsenal’s match is like when you have a child and you really want him to be smart but he just keeps bringing Cs and Ds Home, but you know you can’t and shouldn’t give up on him.)

    AyRhu(阿森纳球迷):这么踢下去,埃梅里恐怕12月就得被炒了!估计那时候洛佩特吉也差不多下课了,正好来执教我厂…(Emery will be out by December if it goes like this, replaced by Lolpetegui who will be leaving Madrid about same time.)

    Saichander(切尔西球迷):莫拉塔去年还是切尔西的托雷斯,但现在已经变成利物浦的托雷斯了!(Morata was the Chelsea Torres last year now he's the Liverpool Torres.)

    Lookattheclock(未知主队球迷):埃梅里当然不会满足一场平局!所以他就输给切尔西了…(Emery didn't want a draw so he just saw a winning Chelsea.)

    阿圭罗带帽

    曼城6-1哈镇

    Domaldinh0(未知主队球迷):看来丁丁受伤对曼城的影响很大啊,你看这场比赛得分都没上双!(You can see City are really missing De Bruyne today, they even cannot score 10.)

    Bobby_Goaldado(热刺球迷):就是,要不是勉强进了6个球,曼城不就0-1输给哈镇了吗?(Yes, if you ignore the 6 bare goals they conceded then Huddersfield won 1-0.)

    J_Briggs_3(曼城球迷):看我城比赛的感觉就像在嘿咻,如果它不像,那就说明我真的是在嘿咻。(It’s always like sex except I’m having it.)

    Hardingnat(切尔西球迷):曼城应该先给对手发一个健康和安全警告才对…(Man City need to come with a health and safety warning to their rivals.)

    LiptonBlackTea(利物浦球迷):讲个笑话:曼城的替补席上还坐着斯特林、马赫雷斯、萨内和沃克…(Sterling, Mahrez, Sane, Walker that city bench was a joke.)

    AggravatingPickle(莱斯特城球迷):啊?他们的水平有那么菜吗?(Oh they're not that bad.)

    爆冷输球

    曼联2-3布莱顿

    Idintronexondna(马竞球迷):曼联看到了曼城6-1的比赛,所以他们自己也想来一场…(United saw City’s 6-1 line and wanted one of their own.)

    SolomonCleft(布莱顿球迷):那我们能每周都踢曼联吗?(Can we play Man Utd every week?)

    hgo-(热刺球迷):现在可以说曼联就是英格兰的阿森纳了!(They are Arsenal of England now.)

    MattSR3(曼联球迷):坏消息是上半场就丢了3个球,更坏的消息是我们下半场好像踢得更烂…(Bad news that we conceded 3 goals in the first half and worse news that we were worse in the second.)

    Lolkac(利物浦球迷):最坏的消息是,曼联下场就要踢热刺了…(The worst thing is you are playing against spurs next.)

    Naryn(阿森纳球迷):太好了,这样曼联就能连续输给小球队了!(Lol the trend of losing to small clubs can continue.)

    加时赛连进2球

    马竞4-2皇马夺超级杯

    Darthvader(巴萨球迷):每个赛季不都这样?皇马开局踢成了一坨翔,最后发现这翔里竟然有座欧冠奖杯…(Same story every season: Madrid start like shit, end up winning the CL.)

    merger3(曼联球迷):反正皇马最后都能混个欧冠冠军,那干嘛还费心费力地去争个西甲亚军呢?(Knowing Real they'll probably accidentally win the Champions League again while trying focusing on fighting for second in La Liga.)

    r1senn(AC米兰球迷):卡塞米罗下场后,皇马踢得简直就像一只没有头的老母鸡…(RM looked like headless hen after Casemiro went off.)

    LosTerminators(西班牙球迷):马竞已经找到在欧战里赢球的秘籍了,那就是西蒙尼被罚上看台!(Atleti have found their secret ingredient to win European matches, and that is for Simeone to get himself sent off into the stands.)

    JaiChandak(曼联球迷):好在还有世俱杯,洛佩特吉还有机会去体验下踢世界杯感觉!(There's still the club world cup. This time Lopetegui has a chance to manage a team in a world cup lol.)

    SonGokuecas(波尔图球迷):你是说洛佩特吉还能坚持到12月不下课?(Implying Lopetegui will last until December?)

    梅西梅开库鸟进球

    巴萨3-0阿拉维斯

    9asseater420(未知主队球迷):梅西踢球时就好像球欠了他钱一样…(HE HIT THIS BALL LIKE IT OWES HIM MONEY.)

    90s_george(未知主队球迷):梅西排在你后面进了旋转门,但他还是能比你先出来!(He will follow you into a revolving door and still come out first. Indeed!!)

    orionpaper(阿贾克斯球迷):梅西的任意球+库鸟的世界波,这才是西甲联赛最好的打开方式!(Messi Free Kick + Countinho Banger = Best way to start La Liga.)

    Gnorrn(未知主队球迷):其实苏神已经是1960年以来巴萨进球最多的且名字不叫梅西的球员了 (Suarez has scored more goals for Barcelona than any player not named Lionel Messi in the modern era since 1960).

    THeScArYFAcE1(皇马球迷):虽然我支持阿拉维斯,但我还是买了巴萨3-0并且押梅西进球…(i was rooting for alaves but my money was on barca winning 3-0 and messi to score.)

    Utdeka(未知主队球迷):如果我是上帝,我会觉得梅西就是我失散多年的亲兄弟…(If I was a god, I would seriously think that Messi could be my long lost brother.)

    卡瓦哈尔贝尔进球

    皇马2-0赫塔费

    Harkoncito(皇马球迷):如果解说员每提一次齐达内、C罗或内马尔你就喝一杯酒的话,那你差不多就得酒精中毒而死了…(do you want to die for alcohol today? take a drink every time Zidane, Cristiano or Neymar are mentioned today.)

    OtherwiseEcho(未知主队球迷):既然都不看VAR一眼,那你装上VAR的意义又是什么呢?(Why even have VAR if you aren't going to use it even once ffs.)

    JackVS1(阿森纳球迷):你们是怎么忍受暴力的英超联赛的?快来看看这美妙的西甲赛场吧!诶,等等…(How can people tolerate the sanguinary PL games when something lovely like the La Liga begin? oh wait…)

    Muluspublius(皇马球迷):赫塔费的哥们好像搞混了这到底是足球比赛还是摔跤比赛了…(Getafe mate might have been confused between a football match and a WWE practice.)

    好了,亲爱的伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”播报就到此为止了,咱们下周继续!

    为迎接欧洲五大联赛新赛季,让更多彩友享受竞猜国际顶级赛事的乐趣,竞彩足球每周选择5-10场重量级比赛进行推荐,为广大彩友提供更准确的选择。各位伙伴们快和摩羯君一起看最纯粹的比赛,玩精准的预测,享受足球的乐趣吧。专业赛事预测,尽在摩羯体育!

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