小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，马竞战胜皇马勇夺欧洲超级杯，切尔西赢下了与阿森纳的焦点之战，曼联爆冷输球，而曼城、巴萨等球队则纷纷顺利取胜。好了，话不多说，和摩羯君一起看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧
焦点之战
切尔西3-2阿森纳
Shriek(阿森纳球迷)：这次我不会受伤了，因为我的心已经麻木了。(Can't feel pain if we're already numb.)
J_A_Y_x(阿森纳球迷)：看看我厂的新后防线，感觉和皇帝的新装差不多吧…(Meet new Arsenal defending, I think the Emperors new clothes look quite like this.)
SleepyDani(阿森纳球迷)：看我厂比赛的感觉就像是养孩子，你盼望他能好好学习，但每次都给你带来学渣一样的成绩。但这又能怎样呢，难道还能放弃他咋地？(Watching arsenal’s match is like when you have a child and you really want him to be smart but he just keeps bringing Cs and Ds Home, but you know you can’t and shouldn’t give up on him.)
AyRhu(阿森纳球迷)：这么踢下去，埃梅里恐怕12月就得被炒了！估计那时候洛佩特吉也差不多下课了，正好来执教我厂…(Emery will be out by December if it goes like this, replaced by Lolpetegui who will be leaving Madrid about same time.)
Saichander(切尔西球迷)：莫拉塔去年还是切尔西的托雷斯，但现在已经变成利物浦的托雷斯了！(Morata was the Chelsea Torres last year now he's the Liverpool Torres.)
Lookattheclock(未知主队球迷)：埃梅里当然不会满足一场平局！所以他就输给切尔西了…(Emery didn't want a draw so he just saw a winning Chelsea.)
阿圭罗带帽
曼城6-1哈镇
Domaldinh0(未知主队球迷)：看来丁丁受伤对曼城的影响很大啊，你看这场比赛得分都没上双！(You can see City are really missing De Bruyne today, they even cannot score 10.)
Bobby_Goaldado(热刺球迷)：就是，要不是勉强进了6个球，曼城不就0-1输给哈镇了吗？(Yes, if you ignore the 6 bare goals they conceded then Huddersfield won 1-0.)
J_Briggs_3(曼城球迷)：看我城比赛的感觉就像在嘿咻，如果它不像，那就说明我真的是在嘿咻。(It’s always like sex except I’m having it.)
Hardingnat(切尔西球迷)：曼城应该先给对手发一个健康和安全警告才对…(Man City need to come with a health and safety warning to their rivals.)
LiptonBlackTea(利物浦球迷)：讲个笑话：曼城的替补席上还坐着斯特林、马赫雷斯、萨内和沃克…(Sterling, Mahrez, Sane, Walker that city bench was a joke.)
AggravatingPickle(莱斯特城球迷)：啊？他们的水平有那么菜吗？(Oh they're not that bad.)
爆冷输球
曼联2-3布莱顿
Idintronexondna(马竞球迷)：曼联看到了曼城6-1的比赛，所以他们自己也想来一场…(United saw City’s 6-1 line and wanted one of their own.)
SolomonCleft(布莱顿球迷)：那我们能每周都踢曼联吗？(Can we play Man Utd every week?)
hgo-(热刺球迷)：现在可以说曼联就是英格兰的阿森纳了！(They are Arsenal of England now.)
MattSR3(曼联球迷)：坏消息是上半场就丢了3个球，更坏的消息是我们下半场好像踢得更烂…(Bad news that we conceded 3 goals in the first half and worse news that we were worse in the second.)
Lolkac(利物浦球迷)：最坏的消息是，曼联下场就要踢热刺了…(The worst thing is you are playing against spurs next.)
Naryn(阿森纳球迷)：太好了，这样曼联就能连续输给小球队了！(Lol the trend of losing to small clubs can continue.)
加时赛连进2球
马竞4-2皇马夺超级杯
Darthvader(巴萨球迷)：每个赛季不都这样？皇马开局踢成了一坨翔，最后发现这翔里竟然有座欧冠奖杯…(Same story every season: Madrid start like shit, end up winning the CL.)
merger3(曼联球迷)：反正皇马最后都能混个欧冠冠军，那干嘛还费心费力地去争个西甲亚军呢？(Knowing Real they'll probably accidentally win the Champions League again while trying focusing on fighting for second in La Liga.)
r1senn(AC米兰球迷)：卡塞米罗下场后，皇马踢得简直就像一只没有头的老母鸡…(RM looked like headless hen after Casemiro went off.)
LosTerminators(西班牙球迷)：马竞已经找到在欧战里赢球的秘籍了，那就是西蒙尼被罚上看台！(Atleti have found their secret ingredient to win European matches, and that is for Simeone to get himself sent off into the stands.)
JaiChandak(曼联球迷)：好在还有世俱杯，洛佩特吉还有机会去体验下踢世界杯感觉！(There's still the club world cup. This time Lopetegui has a chance to manage a team in a world cup lol.)
SonGokuecas(波尔图球迷)：你是说洛佩特吉还能坚持到12月不下课？(Implying Lopetegui will last until December?)
梅西梅开库鸟进球
巴萨3-0阿拉维斯
9asseater420(未知主队球迷)：梅西踢球时就好像球欠了他钱一样…(HE HIT THIS BALL LIKE IT OWES HIM MONEY.)
90s_george(未知主队球迷)：梅西排在你后面进了旋转门，但他还是能比你先出来！(He will follow you into a revolving door and still come out first. Indeed!!)
orionpaper(阿贾克斯球迷)：梅西的任意球+库鸟的世界波，这才是西甲联赛最好的打开方式！(Messi Free Kick + Countinho Banger = Best way to start La Liga.)
Gnorrn(未知主队球迷)：其实苏神已经是1960年以来巴萨进球最多的且名字不叫梅西的球员了 (Suarez has scored more goals for Barcelona than any player not named Lionel Messi in the modern era since 1960).
THeScArYFAcE1(皇马球迷)：虽然我支持阿拉维斯，但我还是买了巴萨3-0并且押梅西进球…(i was rooting for alaves but my money was on barca winning 3-0 and messi to score.)
Utdeka(未知主队球迷)：如果我是上帝，我会觉得梅西就是我失散多年的亲兄弟…(If I was a god, I would seriously think that Messi could be my long lost brother.)
卡瓦哈尔贝尔进球
皇马2-0赫塔费
Harkoncito(皇马球迷)：如果解说员每提一次齐达内、C罗或内马尔你就喝一杯酒的话，那你差不多就得酒精中毒而死了…(do you want to die for alcohol today? take a drink every time Zidane, Cristiano or Neymar are mentioned today.)
OtherwiseEcho(未知主队球迷)：既然都不看VAR一眼，那你装上VAR的意义又是什么呢？(Why even have VAR if you aren't going to use it even once ffs.)
JackVS1(阿森纳球迷)：你们是怎么忍受暴力的英超联赛的？快来看看这美妙的西甲赛场吧！诶，等等…(How can people tolerate the sanguinary PL games when something lovely like the La Liga begin? oh wait…)
Muluspublius(皇马球迷)：赫塔费的哥们好像搞混了这到底是足球比赛还是摔跤比赛了…(Getafe mate might have been confused between a football match and a WWE practice.)
好了，亲爱的伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”播报就到此为止了，咱们下周继续！
为迎接欧洲五大联赛新赛季，让更多彩友享受竞猜国际顶级赛事的乐趣，竞彩足球每周选择5-10场重量级比赛进行推荐，为广大彩友提供更准确的选择。各位伙伴们快和摩羯君一起看最纯粹的比赛，玩精准的预测，享受足球的乐趣吧。专业赛事预测，尽在摩羯体育！
网友评论