相亲交友，如何用几个问题，比较快速的筛选出自己心仪的候选对象？这真的是很有趣，也很有用的课题。
对方的经济状况、外貌长相、家庭基本情况，都可以比较清楚的了解到，这些是表面的资料。但是一些关键的内在特质，需要花一点心思来了解，怎么快速了解，不至于浪费你的宝贵时间，错过了对的人，耽误你的美好前程，成了你关注的焦点。
这些内在特质是你需要关注的：比如对方的心理健康状态，人际沟通能力，乐观还是悲观倾向，情绪的稳定性，三观怎么样。
稳定而美好的婚姻是怎么样的？首先大家是相似的，这是基本的要求，然后双方在需求上有互补，这也是很重要的。如果有这两点，双方又能用心经营，结果必然是相亲相爱，百年好合。——这是心理学家们的研究结果哦。
怎么在陌生的人中去挑选出自己心仪的候选对象。我在此贡献下我的方法。
一、用教练式的提问方式。
借用7个层次：行为、环境、能力、价值观、身份、愿景、使命。来提问，可以逐步深入，从对方的回答中，可以看出对方的兴趣、动机、价值观、能力、应对方式的多样性，是否较能考虑他人等。
比如，你把自己遭遇过的难题拿出来问对方，看看他会怎么去解决。从7个层次中选出5个层次来提问，基本可以了解对方的一些特点了。
二、一些有趣的问题，能够引发讨论。
我搜到了很好玩的36个问题，从网上找的，但具体出处不知道在哪里了，抱歉。
1.Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
如果你可以选择世界上任何一个人，你想让谁做你晚餐的客人呢？
2.Would you like to be famous? In what way?
你想出名吗？以哪种方式？
3.Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?Why?
在打电话之前，你有没有排练过你想要说的话？为什么？
4.What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
你的完美一天由什么组成？
5.When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
你最后一次独自唱歌是什么时候？最后一次和别人一起唱歌是什么时候？
6.If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body ofa 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
如果你能活到90岁，在你人生最后60年里，你想拥有30岁的大脑还是身体？
7.Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
你有想过你会怎么死吗？
8.Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
举出你和我的三个共同之处。
9.For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
在你的人生中什么让你最感激？
10.If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
如果你能改变你成长的方式，你会去改变什么？
11.Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail aspossible.
用四分钟，尽可能详尽地告诉我你一生的故事。
12.If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, whatwould it be?
如果你明天一觉醒来，拥有了某种新的品质或者能力，那会是什么呢？
13.If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, thefuture or anything else, what would you want to know?
如果水晶球能告诉你关于你自己、你的人生、未来或者任何其他事情的真相，你想知道什么？
14.Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’tyou done it?
有没有某样东西/某件事让你魂牵梦绕很久却没有实现的呢？为什么还没做呢？
15.What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
你一生最大的成就是什么？
16.What do you value most in a friendship?
友谊中你最珍惜的是什么？
17.What is your most treasured memory?
你最珍贵的记忆是什么？
18.What is your most terrible memory?
你最糟糕的记忆是什么？
19.If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anythingabout the way you are now living? Why?
如果你知道一年后你会突然死去，你会改变现在的生活方式吗？为什么？
20.What does friendship mean to you?
友谊对你意味着什么？
21.What roles do love and affection play in your life?
爱情和感情在你的人生中起了什么作用？
22.Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of yourpartner. Share a total of five items.
分享你认为我身上的5个优点。
23.How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than mostother people's?
你的家庭多亲密？你觉得自己的童年比大多数人都快乐吗？
24.How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
你觉得你和母亲的关系怎么样？
25.Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this roomfeeling ... “
分别造三句“我们”的句子。例如，“我们同时在这个房间，感觉……”
26.Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
完成这句句子：“我希望我有一个能和他分享……的人。”
27.If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share whatwould be important for him or her to know.
如果你想和我成为亲密的朋友，请分享你认为很重要并一定要我知晓的事情。
28.Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, sayingthings that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
告诉我你喜欢我的什么；一定要中肯诚实，不要说那些和第一次见面的陌生人就能说的泛泛之谈。
29.Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
分享给我你一生中一个尴尬的瞬间。
30.When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
你最近一次在别人面前哭是什么时候？被谁弄哭的？还是自己哭的？
31.Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
告诉我你已经喜欢我的一点。
32.What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
什么样的玩笑不能开？（如果有的话）
33.If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone,what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told themyet?
如果今晚你要死了，却没有机会和任何人交流，你最后悔没有告诉某人什么事？你为什么到现在为止没有说呢？
34.Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving yourloved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any oneitem. What would it be? Why?
如果你的家（包括你的所有财产）着火了。在救了爱的人和宠物外，你还有时间安全地再冲进去捡回一个东西。会是什么呢？为什么？
35.Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing?Why?
家中所有的人中，谁的死会让你最不安？为什么？
36.Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she mighthandle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to befeeling about the problem you have chosen.
我会和你讲一个很私人化的问题，请你换位思考告诉我如果是你、你会如何处理。你觉得我在面对这个问题的时候是什么感觉呢？
三、可以查看对方微信朋友圈
微信圈虽然常常晒一些好看的，修饰过的内容，但认真地去看，通过这些日常，可以很好的观察一个人的兴趣爱好性格及价值观。
那么，以上的3个思路，你都可以试试。
难点是什么？你会不会通过对方的回答做出比较靠谱的分析。如果有难度，怎么办？简单哦，找懂的人不就行了！
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