My road rages
After being a paper driver for 5/6 years, I got my car, then felled into daily driving nervous, and random lightly or heavy rage for a long time. I think, in most of time, I do not realize it, and keep a memory on that.
Then, After 3 years, my Mom came to Beijing to enjoy the Autumn season, since, you know, the Beijing are beautiful and famous for her Autumn. And, we drove to everywhere we want. One day, She said to me : "What's wrong with you? boy”.
I said “I am fine.”
“But, I have been looking at your for long time, you look like angry and unhappy every day!”
“How could you tell that? My dear Mom.”
“ When we drive out. You keep on blaming the others or complaining some things in English!”
I said: “Err……”
“ I am glad you can speak and read English. But I am sure you are speaking something bad. Remember, English bad words are still bad words. The anger and unhappiness, it just leads you to be ugly day by day and little by little in your small car.”
“Don’t preach, my lady. ”
“ I am so happy to see that you finally became a handsome guy after you grew up. And It’s a wonderful gift from the God.”
“Can you repeat the first sentence? Mom, you never say a word like that, I just want to double confirm.”, Mom is a strict lady, and never give me a praise or encouragement like that.
“But, when you are driving on the road, you are so easy to run into a frequent rage, just like abusing somebody . By this way, after few years, you are sure to became so ugly that I could recognize you, even with a magnifier."
Mom has a firm believe, that, when one is easy to run into angry and losing the manner, he/she tends to become ugly, because the frequent rage changes the muscle on face little by little, then it finally persists constantly. Mom is a strict and critical Chinese woman.
“Mom, you know there are so many driving rubbishes on the road.”
“They are not rubbish, they are human.”
“……”
Reviewing my daily spoken wording, I think something does happen unconsciously. I dot not say Chinese dirty words for lots of years, and I do hate that. But, after joining in IBM, I got a workaround: I just say it in English, and learned some “frequently used” 4-letter words. Also, I have taken it as granted also feel it’s cool and ease: When the vehicle before changes the route suddenly without any light, Or when they brake suddenly, when they roll down the window and throw a cigarette butt, when they do not change the headlight beam and just drive toward me at night, even when the neighbor parks in front of the entry and left very narrow space for me to pass...... I say something dirty or even give a middle finger to the driver, then just lose temper for a while.
The Libra person always cares himself smugly. I am afraid that , one day, when I look into mirror, I will hate the man in the mirror. So, I need to change and I need a solution to avoid this tragedy. There are so many de factors in BJ' and this world, and the road of China as well. Less I can do to change them. So, I have to co-exist with all the people and things by changing myself. I need conquer the habit come into being unconsciously, coz, it hurts myself also my close persons.
There are more solutions than problems. First, I sleep and get up early to avoid the jam. 2nd, , I make lots of very deep breath to smooth the anger, and imagine exhaling the anger out of the body. The 3rd, I keep on listening the classic world famous novel or story. In following 8 months , I finished listening most of the classics fiction books I have been longing for years by Himalayan. Such as <as 3-body problem> by Liu Chi Xin, <The Miserable> by Hugo, Also, most of book of Mo Yan such as <Tan Xiang Xin>, <Wa>, and so on. Someday, I suddenly find that that it’s not so difficult for me to write a long and interesting article already. A Magic surprise, isn’t it? By comparing the miserable story in the Miserable, I think driving in BJ, is also of happy.
The BJ seems to have no chance to change and improve to be the same level as LA (Los Angeles ) where the highway and road are first class free and fast in short time. But we have to live here for long time, and even whole life time long. So, the driving should not put us into a dilemma.
This is my stories, you have my best wishes to drive ease in coming years.
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