Daily diary — 20th May

    My Wi-Fi connection is low , I can’t play CSGO with my friends online .
    The vocabulary of TEM-8 is really difficult to memorize , I spent 3 hours to recite 210 words in the morning , twice the time of reciting words in TEM-4 .
    It’s 20th May , not a special date for me , just as monotonous and common as the day before . One of my few friends advised me that I could apply for a salesman position in a housing corporation and try to do something different . I refused his advice and don’t want to force others to buy the merchandise through some verbal tricks . I don’t like that . It seems that I am very haughty , only do something that require others to seek me for help and never seek help from others actively . Maybe it will not be a good habit in the future and I will suffer hardships for this disposition .
    Years ago , I reckon that the book knowledges is useless and I can’t combine it with the life practice , I am bored of staying at schools for decades since I was 6 . I went to army to find a answer of a special question and to overcome the weakness of my body . 2 years later , I got stronger and realized that my opinion towards something was wrong . I got the answer and had a stronger body but lost a student’s purity and brainless sunshiny attitude towards life . I was bullied when I was young and I was eager for a strong body so I can thump the bad guys with my fists someday . When My target come true , my recognition has been refreshed too . I suddenly find it is illegal to fight with others . The boys who fight with others impulsively all obtain a similar ending— lie in a hospital or be confined in a prison . I don’t want either of them.
    I went back to my campus and finished my study , then graduated and found a job in Shanghai . Due to the experience in the army , I don’t want to communicate with others whose life experience is utterly different from mine . The less talking , the less arguments . Many people can’t control their temper when they quarrel with others . I really don’t know what I can do when they say “fuck your mother” . What I can do is escaping from that place and not to punch him angrily then send myself into prison or compensate him for a large amount of money . I am a destitute man and have no money .
    Though I am regarded as a coward frequently by some so-called brave people (men and women)and I will be angry for the criticism . I will learn to comfort myself and follow my own principle . Mouth long in  others’ face ,  it’s not my business to deal with such things , furthermore , what can I do to change others’ notions ?
    Everyone has his own road , everyone has his own achievement , not to evaluate other people randomly with our single values , it’s too narrow .