The four mantras[1] are magic formulas that can be practiced in daily life to help us connect with others, especially our loved ones. A mantra has the power to transform the situation—but it only works if we are really present and available for the other person.
The first mantra is “I am here for you.” The greatest gift we can give to others is our true presence. This establishes real connection.
The second mantra is, “I know you are there, and I am very happy.” To be truly present and know that the other is also there is a miracle. When you are really there, you are able to recognize and appreciate the presence of the other—the full moon, the magnolia flowers, or the person you love.
The third mantra is, “Darling, I know you suffer.” When you are mindful, you notice when the person you love suffers. Your presence alone will relieve a lot of their suffering.
The fourth mantra is the most difficult. It is practiced when you yourself are suffering and you believe the other person is the one who has caused your suffering: “I am suffering. Please help.” Many people cannot say this because of the pride in their heart. In true love, there is no place for pride. Hearing your words, the other person will come back to themselves and look deeply. Then the two of you will be able to sort things out, let go of wrong perceptions, and reconcile.
All from How to Connect by Thich Nhat Hanh
- 有我在呢, I am here for you.
- 有你在,正开心 I know you are there, and I am very happy.
- 你的苦衷,我懂的。Darling, I know you suffer.
- 我很难受,帮帮我 I am suffering. Please help.
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咒语。 ↩
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