根据标题，在你迫切地想如何如何增加自信前，你首先要明白的是，自信的定义是什么，先理解自信的本质是什么。
Have you ever paused and asked yourself ,what is the definition of confidence?
根据牛津词典对自信的定义，第一层含义是：你有所依靠或依赖的东西；第二层含义是你能有把控感。
The first definistion is the mental attitudes of trusting in or relying on a person or thing .
the second definition is ,the feeling sure or certain of a fact or issue.
即自信来源于信任和确定。
它会让你确信会得到一个可实现的结果，或者是你在演讲时，会确认有5个朋友会为你鼓掌。
自信并不是我们真的可拥有或是没有拥有的事物，它更是一种在关键时刻点上的一种可感受的东西。
例如:科比是世界上最伟大的篮球运动员之一，他以强大的信念和自信而出名，在篮球场上，我们并不怀疑，可是
当他换一个未知的领域是什么什么情况呢？
Kobe Bryant has been said to be one of the best basketball players of all time,and he is known for his inner
beliefs and confidence within himself.
but,what if we put Kobe in an environment where he is not as experienced .?
让我们来看一个片段，科比在谈论会计和金融时怎么说的。
（主持人问）：你能很好地读懂资产负债表和利润表吗？
-Are you getting good at reading balance sheets and income statements?
(科比回答）：不，但我正在变得更好，因为这不是我的强项。
No,I'm getting better at it ,but is is not my strength.
以上听起来，科比还是一个自信的人吗？当然不是，因为科比在金融方面比起在他30年篮球生涯来说，没有更多的实操经验。
Does that sound llike someone who is confident?
Of course not !He isn't confident ,because he does not have much experience in that area,opposed to the basketball court.
where he has 30 years of experience.
但经验只是自信的一个方面，除了经验，自信还来源皇——结果。科比在篮球方面的自信，是因为他获得了篮球方面的大满贯，也是公认的最有
价值的球员。
Kobe is so confident on the basketball court because he has five championship rings and he even was voted the most valuable player in the entire league .
因此，你要想在一个领域获得足够的自信，你唯一要做的事就是得到正向的结果。
If you want to become that incredibly confident man that everyone admires,(仰慕），the only thing you need to do is get
results in the area where you want to be confident.
大部分人对于自信都有一种误解，认为自信就是善于与人相处或社交。
I think many men associate confidence with being good with people and dating .
但善于约会，并不等于在其它方向自信。
But being confident with dating women will not make you confident in everything that you do .
不过，总的来说，如果你想在某个领域自信，你就必须要有经验和成绩。
If you want to become confident in something ,then you have to get experience and results in that certain area.
自信与自大的区别是什么？
自信来源于可靠真实的感知，而自大来源于不安全感。
Confidence comes from a very authentic and whole place ,Cockiness is not authentic and it's based in insecurity.
（当不同意他的观点时）自大通常说话声更大，倾向于压制他人，试图让他人服从。
When someone disagrees with a cocky自大 person，they will try and overpower and intimidate them by being loud with the hopes
that the other person will simply submit 服从 to them
一个自信而谦虚的人，在获得奖项时，总是感谢那些帮助过他的人；
When a confident and humble person accepts an award ,they will almost always acknowledge the people that helped
them get there.
另一个重大区别是，自大的人从来不承认他们的弱点
Another big difference between being cocky and confidence is that cocky people never like to acknowledge their weaknesses.
一个典型的情形就是，当自大的人做错时，他们总是叨唠不休，为他们的错误说一堆合理化的理由，并试图指责他人，而不是
承认他们自己的错误
A great example of this is when a cocky person is incorrect about st.They will tell themselves stories ,ratinalizing why they thought
the way they did ,and they will often find someone els e to blame instead of just admitting when they are wrong.
而自信的人并不这么做，因为他知道错误没什么大不了的，犯了错也并不能减少他们自身的价值和别人对自己的价值。
Confident people do not need to do this because they know it's okay if they are wrong ,and they know that being wrong will
not reduce their self -worth or their value to the other people around them .
如果你是一个自信的人，你会诚实地评估自己的技能和自我价值。
When you are confident ,you can evaluate your own skills and self -worth honestly.
你会对自己说，我需要提高在这个领域，我会继续投入
You can say to yourself :"I need to improve in this area,"and you will put the work in ,in order to improve.
.你对一些话题有自己的观点，但同时对他人的观点也持开放的态度
Of course ,you have opinions of certain topics ,but you're always open to the opinions of others.
征求他人的意见，不仅加强你自己的信念，也在一定程度上修正自己观点。
Getting another person's opinion will either strengthen your own belief or make you change your own opinions into one that
is more correct.
自信力并不是一夜之间就获得的，它需要你不断陶冶自己，推动自己走出舒适区。
Confidence is not st. that you just get overnight,it's st.that you have to cultivate over time by pushing yourself to go outside
of your comfort zone.
你越害怕的想法，越要去做
If the idea of approching someone during tha day is terrifying ,then you should do it .
在大街上，你想问个人现在几点了，立刻去做。
If the idea of asking someone on the street what time it is ,then you should do it .
你不能用你想的方式去证明有自信，你要用你的行动来感觉到自信。
You cannot think your way to confidence ,you have to feel your way there.
用美国哲学家爱默生的话说，你应该总是去做你不敢做的事。
In the words of the great American philosopher,Ralph Waldo Emerson ,"May you always do the thing you are afraid to do ."
英文资料摘自：《每日英语听力》APP - 《男性自我提升小技巧》
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