问:那幸福呢? 它真的存在吗?
答: 任何人的生命中都有“幸福”的体验，例如，第一次恋爱，结婚，或者一个孩子的诞生。
生命的每个阶段都有相应的规则和满足感。这是一个经常被忽视的事实。
你看看母亲子宫里的婴儿，待在一个那么快乐的地方，但九个月后，宝宝将无法忍受继续待在里面。如果这个孩子幸运的话，ta会来到妈妈的怀抱里，被喂养，被关爱。 再过几年，孩子会觉得这种被呵护的状态不再能满足他，孩子想要开始学习走路，想要进一步扩大自己的活动范围。然后这个孩子到了青少年，充满着对自由的向往，生命力无限的迸发。然后再过几年，那种自由的状态又变得无趣，新的阶段又一次到来： 工作，责任，婚姻，孩子。
在很多文化里，每一次的进阶都有相应的仪式作为注脚。每一个阶段被清晰的划分出来，孩童变为青年，青年变为成人。但是在我们的文化中，这些仪式是缺失的。曾经我们还有参军这个过程，是一个年轻人变为一个男人的转折，之后，婚姻又象征着下一个转折点。
Q: What about happiness? Does that even exist?
A: There are instances of happiness in the course of any life; for example, in a first love, with marriage, or the birth of a child.
Each phase of life has its own rules and its own fulfillment. That's a fact that is often ignored. Look at a baby in the mother's womb. That’s a happy place, but still, after nine months, the baby won' t be able to stand being there. If the child is lucky, he or she finds the way to the mother’s arms to be nursed, cared for, and loved. After a while, that isn't satisfying any more. The child wants to walk, to move away. The child grows to be a teenager, full of feelings of freedom and bursting out. After a while that, too, becomes boring and a new phase enters: work, responsibilities, marriage, children.
In many cultures, the progress is regulated through rites so that it is set out how a child becomes a youth and a youth becomes an adult. For the most part, these rites are missing in our culture. At one time, for example, military service for a young man marked the transition to manhood. Later, marriage marked another transition.
问：所以你觉得这些转折点的仪式是缺失的？
答：是的，在早些时候，我们还有学徒制，一个学徒跟着师傅学习，这是一个过程，然后学徒自己变成师傅，又一个转折。这些都是生命的里程碑。今天，我们似乎也有转折点，但是他们不像以前一样充满着仪式感和意义感。
Q: So we re missing the rites of transition?
A: Yes. In earlier times an apprentice went to learn with a master and it was a transition. Later that apprentice became a master, another transition. These were milestones. Today, we have some similar transitions but they aren't imbued with the same meaning
问：那我们现在对“幸福”的认知是不是有偏差？
答：我们现在认为的幸福其实是属于青春的美好。
很多人认为青年时代是一个充满美好和高光的阶段，似乎停留在青春的时间越长越好。如果我们的目标是留住青春的体验，那么我们不知道自己在人生中错过了什么。
比如，一个50多岁的还活得像年轻男孩儿的男人是一个什么状态，没有家庭，也不知道家庭意味着什么。 突然有一天，他感觉很孤独，发现自己好像错过了一些重要的事情，发现自己在正确的时间点没有经历正确的转折。
我认为幸福是一个比较复杂的东西。它不是一种迷幻的陶醉感，而是一种我在我作为一个人发展的路上，站在正确的时间点，做属于那个时间点的事情。
当我是孩子的时候，我过着属于孩子的童年，当我是年轻人时，我过着属于年轻人的生活，当母亲的时候真正的做母亲，当父亲的时候做父亲，工作的时候，真的在工作。
要在正确的时间点做正确的事情，很重要的一点是，知道什么时候该离场。 离场，面对死亡，空出位置给后来的人，是很重要的一步。
Q: Are we off base in our idea of happiness?
A: Our image of happiness is mostly an image of the happiness of youth. Many people view youth as a time of privilege that should be made to last as long as possible. If we strive for that, we re not aware of what we are missing in the process.
For example, what happens to a man of 50 who is still living like a youth--who has no family and no idea of what meaning that might have? All at once, he feels lonely and notices that he has missed some thing important along the way, the rignt transition at the right time. I see happiness as something more complex It's not a state of euphoria, but more the feeling that I'm in the right place according to the developmental phase I'm in right now. I'm right as a child, I'm right as a youth, I'm right as a woman, as a father, as a mother. I'm successful in my work, and so on. A part of that is being able to withdraw at the right time. That's also an important step to step aside and leave room for those who come after me. To turn to death.
问：那些有着艰难命运的人呢?
答：当有人面对一个沉重的负担，例如，一个母亲带着一个残疾的孩子，许多人会说，这对母子运气不好。然而，如果母亲和孩子都直面这种境况。他们会发展出一种特殊的重要性和力量，那是超越普通的幸福的。想象一下，如果世界上只有快乐的人。那会是一个什么样的社会? 有多少力量可言，有多少伟大可言?
Q: What about those who have a difficult fate？
A: When someone is presented with a heavy burden, for example, a mother with a handicapped child, then many would say that's bad luck for the mother and the child. However, if the mother faces the situation and the child faces it. They develop a very special importance and strength that extend beyond ordinary happiness. Just imagine if there were only happy people. What kind of society would that be? How much strength would be available and how much greatness?
问: 这种母亲的成就是不是具有更多的意义呢?
答:我不会这样来措辞。如果你周围有类似的人，只要认真的观察他们，你就会有答案。这样一位母亲，她有一个残疾的孩子，但她却接受了这一点，并抚养了这个孩子。你可以感受到她对整个周围环境的治疗效果。它打破幻象，并像一个能辐射很远的疗愈能量场一样工作。
Q: Is there more meaning in the achievements of a mother with a handicapped?
A: I wouldnt make that interpretation. But you only have to look at such people in your neighborhood. Look at a mother who has a handicapped child who has accepted that and raised that child. You can feel what a healing effect it has on the entire surroundings. It destroys illusions, and works like an energy field that radiates.
问：你遇见过这种人吗？
答：在我的疗愈工作中，我经常遇见类似的情况。 我观察那些父母如何处理这种境况，然后我深深的谦卑的向他们鞠躬。那种伟大是超越我所能触及的，它的疗愈效果对我也十分巨大。
Q: Have you experienced that?
A: In therapy I meet such cases all the time. I can observe how parents deal with their situations, and I bow down humbly to that. It's a greatness that is out of reach for me, but I can see it and it has a healing effect on me.
问：有些人说，我们来到世间不是为了“快乐”的，那“快乐/幸福”这个概念是不是有它的危险性？
答: 我只能说，我见过大多数所谓的幸福的人，他们并不是活得最有满足感的人。
因为真实的人生是另外一种质感。
一个真正充实的人会散发出某种光芒，这就是我对幸福的定义。在我看来，这类人是再多也不够的。这种光芒改变了人类共同生活的整体氛围，我看不出有什么危险性。当然，这与我们被媒体所洗脑的那种“我要永远开心”的感觉是不同的。
孩子们全身心地投入其中玩耍，相爱的人迷醉的幸福，这是一种。这些都很美好。但是满足感和充实感和这种沉醉的快乐是不一样的。
我说的幸福是与伟大有着和谐共振的，它包含了痛苦和死亡。它给我们一种深沉的力量，稳定，和庄重感。它是非常宁静的。它是属于“成就”的快乐，而不是迷失在一项活动或另一个人身上的快乐。它具有力量和能量。
Q: Some people claim we're not here to be happy. Is there something dangerous about happiness?
A: I would only say that the so-called happy people are not the most fulfilled. Life feels different.
A truly fulfilled person radiates something, and that would be my definition of happiness. In my opinion, there can't be enough of such happy people in the world. It changes the total atmosphere of living together as humans and I can't see anything dangerous in that. But that's, of course, a different definition of happiness than the happy-welIness-yearning-feeling that we are inundated with by the media.
There is the happiness of children who are totally absorbed in the play, and those in love are happy. That's all very lovely, but fulfillment isn't happiness in that sense of the word. It is in harmony with greatness, including suffering or death. That gives a deep collectedness, weight, and composure. It's something quite still. It's the happiness of achievement, but not the happiness of being lost in an activity or in another person. It has strength and energy.
问：成就？你是指？
答：当某人盖一座房子，盖得很好，或者拉小提琴，拉出来很美的音乐，或者能完成其他的什么事情，这种能力。
孩子是父母的成就。我们的工作里面闪耀着我们的内核，那种快乐和“我参加了一次特别欢乐的饭局”是不一样的。
Q: Achievement? What do you mean by that?
A: When someone has built a house and it turns out well, or plays the violin and the music is beautiful, or is able to achieve something else. Children are an achievement for their parents. We live in our works, and that happiness is different from the happiness of a party.
问：你的意思是，它更贴近一种灵魂的自我表达。
答：是的, 没错。幸福是灵魂的成就。
Q: It has more to do with self-expression
A: Yes, exactly. Happiness is an achievement of the soul.
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