奥林匹斯山的猫

累呀要申请参加一个“经典大赛”（classics conference），申请表格、文件一大摞。她问我，她有什么光辉事迹可以证明她自幼热爱经典。我说，您8岁时在一次旅途中创作的一个以威利、玛丽二猫为主角的穿越剧，整个一希腊故事大串烧啊，从奥德赛到金羊毛，从黄铜骑士到独眼巨人，从波斯战争到宙斯神庙，一样不拉，还能有比这更好的证明？

她依言把这事迹填了上去，随后入选了，兴高采烈。却死活不肯读“小时候”的作品，觉得会让自己难堪。

我翻开读了读，想起她写作时的种种情景。

那天是在维也纳西班牙马术学校排队等候进场，她站在队伍里，手里拿个小本儿不停地写。排在我们后面的一家人大概来自北方，金发碧眼，两个大人都身长六尺余，三个小子对着累呀手里的本儿，探头探脑，一副“what the heck are you doing？”的表情。直到累呀抬头冷冷看了他们一眼，美少女睥睨混小子，威而不怒。傻小子方自知，有多远我最好滚多远，不再造次。

事隔多年，我重新翻出来读，敝帚自珍，乐不自胜，屡次笑倒。遂译之，并将原文（含拼写、标点错误）一并附上。

奥林匹斯山的猫

第一场

威利，是一只猫，同时也是恶作剧之神，他这时饿了。寻思不知道宙斯那儿的猫粮是不是已经吃完了，于是决定去宙斯神庙投诉食品状况。忽然，他听见从神庙方向传来一声坍塌的巨响，赶快跑过去一看，神庙已经变成废墟。他想，这一定是波斯人干的，因为这时波斯和希腊正在打仗。于是威利决定去找奥德修斯，这位比谁都害怕他的恶作剧。有一次他趁奥德修斯打盹时，给他脸上泼了冷水。

奥德修斯此时正站在他的轮船甲板上得意洋洋，过往的人都向他的船投来崇敬的眼光。然而当他一眼看见威利，立刻开始疯了一样地发抖。威利对着奥德修斯走过去，喵了一声“带我上地中海一趟，捕鱼。”奥德修斯乖乖地服从，他怕要不然威利又要捣乱。

第二场

到这时，他们已经抓上来十条鱼，奥德修斯问“可以走了吗？”威利坚持要至少抓到二十条才行，这意味着他们必须在船上过夜。这一夜对于奥德修斯可真是煎熬。一开始，因为他没有醒来喂威利，威利一怒之下把他对奥德修斯玩过的把戏对所有船员又都玩了一遍，害得大伙齐声尖叫。接着，他又说要金羊毛，因为他太冷了！于是船员们不得不凌晨 一点就起来开船向科尔喀斯进发，金羊毛正是藏在那里。

第三场

路上，他们经过了独眼巨人的洞，奥德修斯对于自己曾经弄瞎了独眼巨人十分自豪，于是在这岛上停下来要带威利去看。威利看了一眼那巨人，并没有被震住，打了个呵欠，便踱步回到船上。

第四场

当他们终于抵达科尔喀斯以后，海员们搭了个临时的篷帐，并且在威利和奥德修斯四处寻找金羊毛时，开始找食物。在一块空地的树枝上，威利和奥德修斯找到了那张金羊毛，上面躺着一只小黑猫，在睡觉。小黑猫醒过来看见他们，喵了一声“我是玛丽，金羊毛守护者，你们可以叫我蜜碧。想要拿走金羊毛，得先猜三个谜语。”威利最喜欢猜谜。他在自己的神庙里都布置了一个秘密机关，事实上是一个下面放了一桶冷水的暗门。“第一个谜语，一个颜色，多个尺寸，粘在地上，又很会飞，在阳光下现身，在雨中消失，不害人，也不会疼。”威利仅仅想了几秒钟“影子”，他说。玛丽点了点头说“下一个：石壁像奶一样白，流出来像丝一样软，晶亮的泉水中，躺着一个金苹果。坚硬的墙上没有门，可贼来了还会把墙穿破，偷走黄金。”这次威利又只想了几秒钟，“鸡蛋”他说。“正确”玛丽答道，“现在最后一个谜语，小小南希.艾迪蔻蒂，穿着一件白色的裙衣，长着一个红鼻子。她站得越久，个子越矮。”威利挠了挠头，找到了答案“蜡烛”。

后来宙斯听说威利居然有本事取走了金羊毛，他决定要惩罚玛丽，因为她出了这么容易猜的谜语，他的惩罚是，让玛丽跟着威利一起上路，他知道，这旅途将会十分艰辛。可是玛丽是个凡事往好处想的小猫咪，这一次，她想的是，威利肯定在什么地方藏了好多猫薄荷，而且她还可以用金羊毛给他织一张毯子，可以挣点钱。再说还能去看看大海，想吃多少鱼吃多少鱼，还可以去看很多很多她从没见过的地方，她从生下来就没有离开过科尔喀斯。

忽然，一声闷响，乌云开始堆积，暴风雨转眼就来了。天空一下子黑下来，他们完全迷失了方向！

第五场

不久，他们被海浪冲到一个奥德修斯也不知道的岛上。宙斯教过威利几乎所有的地理知识，所以威利知道他们在哪儿，但他决定不说出来，气气奥德修斯。

就在这时，一阵迷人的气味传到两只猫的鼻子里 — 猫薄荷。“哦....猫薄荷！”他俩同时寻着那气味的方向去，来到一尊巨大的铜像前，气味正是来自铜像所站立的平台上。威利找到了入口，两人都以闪电般的速度钻了进去。

第六场

那里面真是猫的天堂啊。到处都是成堆的猫薄荷！他们一人占了离自己最近的一堆，开始准备吃一吃，闻一闻，再舔一舔。没过几分钟，这猫薄荷开始令他俩神志狂乱。忽然，奥德修斯听见一声闷响，“啊，威利大人，”他说，“你一定要看看这个。”，“还有什么能比猫薄荷更好的呢，可我还是来了。”威利回答说。

第七场

他从平台下面走出去，想看看发生了什么事。奥德修斯指着铜像，那铜像正在动！“是塔罗斯！”威利叫了起来，“让所有人赶紧离开，现在！”尽管威利发出了这个警告，可是因为刚才吃的那些猫薄荷，他依然神不守舍，所以他忘记了让奥德修斯杀死塔罗斯。奥德修斯想尽一切办法要把它弄出来，可最终还是靠泼水才成功了。威利走到塔罗斯的脚踝处，咬了一口，塔罗斯唯一的一根血管就露出来了。

第八场

他们一回到船上，威利便说，“我们赶紧回奥林匹斯山吧。”玛丽很想去看奥林匹斯山，所以她就同意了。可奥德修斯说，天开始黑了，他们必须得找一个岛，好好睡一觉。于是他们任由轮船漂浮，直到眼前出现了一座岛。登陆后，船员们找吃的，威利、玛丽和奥德修斯找栖身之所。

第九场

那一整夜，威利都听见一个声音在喵“喵——猫薄荷，喵——猫薄荷，我们这儿呦喵——猫薄荷。”他饿极了，船员们带回来一些兔子、浆果什么的，都让奥德修斯抢着吃了，于是他决定要去找这个声音。可一直到天亮，他也没找到那声音是从哪里传来的。奥德修斯发现威利不见了，慌了神，便让玛丽寻着威利的气味去找他。可当他们找到他时，他竟然一见他们就跑开，他们追遍了整个小岛才抓住他。

第十场

他们把他带上轮船，可刚一上船，他立刻又跑回岛上。无奈他们只好又去追赶，这一次，当他被带上船后，立刻被捆了起来，以免他再次逃跑。

第十一场

当离开那岛渐渐远了，他们给威利松了绑，他大发了一场脾气，说自己最恨被绑起来，后来终于也理解了他们绑自己的一番苦心。后来的旅途中，两只猫一直睡了过去。

第十二场

到了雅典，威利带着玛丽一起下船，陪她四处转转，给她介绍。来到奥林匹斯山脚下时，威利、玛丽和奥德修斯一起往山顶望去。“咦，这可怎么上得去？”玛丽问到。“我们只能爬。”威利回答说。说完就动身向上爬去。忽然奥德修斯问“我们是不是应该彼此拴在一起，这样安全一些呢？”威利和玛丽都瞪着他。“所以你以为你可以把威利拴在我身上，而不会勒死我吗？！”玛丽十分震惊地问道。“是啊，如果你走在最后，我走在最先。”他回答说。玛丽和威利俩人都认为这是个坏主意，于是他们继续上山，没绑任何绳子。爬了半天，大家终于同意歇口气。

第十三场

正当他们仨忙于欣赏眼前的美景时，忽然传来一声嘶嘶声。三人回头一看，美杜莎正冲他们跑来，因为他们此刻在她的地盘上停留了。奥德修斯一面跑，一面吓得直叫唤，扔下威利和玛丽独自面对美杜莎。威利立即开动脑筋来想一条对付美杜莎的计谋，有了！“你很擅长猜谜是吗？”他问美杜莎。“是啊，我特别擅长，我几乎知道所有的谜语。”她回答说。“好，如果这一条你答不上，你就不能杀了我们，好吗？“威利喵了一声。“玛丽，拿一条你最难的来问她。”玛丽把她知道的谜语在脑子里过了一遍。“山满，洞满，却装不满一碗。”美杜莎想了好一阵，最后她终于放弃，让他们走了。奥德修斯藏在树丛后面看见了整个这一幕，此时跳出来祝贺他们。

第十四场

他们爬了一两天，奥林匹斯终于出现在眼前。正要跨过那大门时，来了一只巨大的长着蛇尾的鸡，一屁股在他们面前坐下。

“你们是谁？”它问。威利开始想，这会不会是宙斯想出来的安保措施。“我是威利，恶作剧之神，这是奥德修斯，那个小黑猫是玛丽，金羊毛守护者。”大鸡只是瞪着他们。忽然，奥德赛又叫唤着跑了。“真是个怂包”威利想。威利舔了舔嘴唇。“这是好大一块香甜的鸡肉啊！”他想。于是向着玛丽斜过身子，悄声对她说“这可以做一顿盛宴，你不觉得吗？”玛丽点了点头。于是他们俩一齐向鸡走过去。

“别！！！！猫！！！”这只大鸡尖叫起来。他立刻就让他们通过了。

“谢谢你。”威利礼貌地说。

第十五场

他们进了奥林匹斯，受到了宙斯的欢迎。宙斯此刻还在为他坍塌的神庙难过。玛丽见这里一切都这么干净，惊讶万分，她习惯了森林野外的生活。“这些人都是谁？他们怎么看上去都那么傻？他们在干什么？”众神一听，都大吃一惊。阿波罗厌恶地瞪着玛丽。“你是谁，敢说我们傻？嗯？”玛丽走过去，在他身边不知做了一件什么很邪恶的事，他立即恐怖地叫了起来。“看见了？你真的很傻！刚才跟你说了！”阿波罗脸红了。“我看上去傻吗？”波塞东问，“是的，你们所有人看上去都傻，我刚才不是说过了吗！你是聋子吗？”她回答说。威利把她从广场上拉出来。“别冒犯宙斯，否则他会让所有神庙都倒塌，那样我所有的猫薄荷都会被埋在废墟下面了。”他悄声说。随即把她带到一家酒店，给她订了个房间。

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注：威利的恶作剧和聪明，玛丽喜欢羊毛以及性情，都来源于实际生活中这两只猫的个性，尤其是玛丽成天躺在一整张羊皮上懒懒地不挪窝，可能给了作者灵感，索性让她成为金羊毛守护者。

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The cat from Mount Olympus

By Laia B

Scene 1:

Willy, who was a cat as well as the god of mischief, was very hungry.He wondered if Zeus had run out of cat food.He decided to go to Zeus's temple to complain about the food situation.Suddenly, he heard a crash coming from Zeus's temple's direction.He rushed over and found the temple in ruins.He guessed the Persains did it, since there was a war going on in between Persia and Greece.So Willy decided to go to Odysseus, who feared his pranks more than anyone else because of the time when he poured cold water on Odysseus's face while he was napping.

Odysseus was on the deck of the ship looking all proud because everyone who passed stared at his ship.But as soon as he saw Willy, he started shivering like mad.Willy walked up to Odysseus and meowed “Take me on a fishing trip in the Mediterranian.” Odysseus obeyed because he thought that if he didn't, then Willy would play a prank on him again.

Scene 2:

When they had caught ten fish, Odysseus asked “Can we go now?”, but Willy insisted on staying until they had at least twenty fish, which meant they had to stay overnight on the boat.The night was a torture to Odysseus.First, when he wouldn't wake up to feed Willy, Willy made all the rowers scream by playing the same prank he played on Odysseus.Second, he asked for the Golden Fleecebecause he wascold!The rowers had to wake up at one in the morning to row to Colchid, where the Golden Fleece was hidden.

Scene 3:

On the way, they passed the Cyclops's cave, and Odysseus was so proud about blinding the Cyclops that he stopped at the Cyclops's island to show Willy.When Willy saw the Cyclops, he didn't seem very impressed. He just yawned and trotted back to the ship.

Scene 4:

When they finally reached Colchid, The sailors made a refuge and looked for food while Willy and Odysseus searched for the GoldenFleece.They found it hanging on a tree in the middle of a clearing, with a little black kitten sleeping on it.When the kitten woke up and saw them, she jumped off the tree and meowed “I am Mery, guardian of the Golden Fleece.You can call me Mibb.To get the Golden Fleece, you have to answer three riddles.”Willy was good at riddles because his temple even had a riddle to enter a “secret passage” which was actually just a trapdoor with a bucket of water at the bottom. “Here's the first riddle:Only one colour, but not one size, stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies, present in sun , but not in rain, doing no harm, and feeling no pain.” Willy only thought for a few seconds “A shadow.” He said, Mery nodded and said“Here's the next riddle:In marble walls as white as milk, lined with skin as soft as silk, within a fountain crystal clear, a golden apple does appear.No doors are there to this stronghold-yet thieves break in and steal the gold.” Again, Willy only thought for a few seconds “An egg” he said “Correct” Mery replied “Now the last riddle:Little Nancy Etticoat, in a white petticoat, and a red nose.The longer she stands, the shorter she grows.” Willy racked his brain for an answer and eventually found it “A candle”.When Zeus heard that Willy had been able to take the Golden Fleece, he decided to punish Mery for choosing such easy riddles by making her go with Willy to continue the trip since he knew that it was dangerous.But Mery was a positive kitten who always looked on the bright side, and in this case she figured that Willy might have a load of catnip hidden somewhere, and she could knit his blanket from the Golden Fleece so that she would be able to get paid, and she was going to the sea, so she would be able to eat as many fish as she wanted, and she would be able to see other places, since she had never been off Colchid.Suddenly, they heard a deep rumbling, and the clouds darkened.Soon it became a storm.It became so dark and confusing that they barely knew where they were going!

Scene 5:

Soon enough, they got washed up on an island that Odysseus didn't know about.Zeus had taught Willy all about geography, so Willy knew where they were, but decided to annoy Odysseus by not telling him.All of a sudden, a wonderful smell reached both cat's noses – catnip. “Ooooh.....catnip!”they both followed the scent.They ended up in front of a huge bronze statue of a man, and the smell was coming from the platform it was standing on.Willy found the door to go in, and they both rushed in at top speed.

Scene 6:

Inside, it was heaven for cats.There were piles and piles of catnip everywhere!They both up scrambled up the nearest pile and started trying to eat, sniff and nudge all the the catnip in the pile.In a few minutes they were both going crazy because of the catnip.Sunddenly, Odysseus heard a rumbling sound. “Uh, Master Willy,”he said “You might want to see this.” “There's nothing better than caaaaaatnip, but I'm coming.”Willy answered.

Scene 7:

He walked out of the platform to see what was going on.Odysseus was pointing at the bronze statue, which was moving! “It's Talos!”Willy cried “Get everyone off the island, NOOOOW!”.Even though Willy had given out the warning, he was still mind-absent because of the catnip, so he didn't tell Odysseus how to kill Talos.Odysseus tried everything to get it out, and eventually succeeded by pouring water on him.Willy went to Talos's ankle, bit it, and Talos's only blood vessel came out.

Scene 8:

Once they were on the ship, Willy said “Let's get back to Mount Olympus.” Mery wanted to see Mount Olympus, so she agreed.But Odysseus said that it was getting dark, so they had to find an island where they could sleep peacefully.They let the ship drift around until an island came in sight.When they landed on the island, the rowers went off to look for food while Willy, Mery and Odysseus looked for shelter.

Scene 9:

That night, Willy heard a nice voice meowing “Caaaaaaaaatniiiiiip.Caaaaaaaaatniiiiiiip.We have caaaaaatniiiiiip.” he was pretty hungry, since all the rowers brought back was a rabbit and some berries that Odysseus hogged, so he decided to follow the voice.Morning came, and he still didn't find where the voice was coming from.Odysseus panicked when he had found Willy missing, and he made Mery follow his scent.When they found him, he started running away, so they had to chase him all over the island before they caught him.

Scene 10:

Once they put him on the ship, one moment he was on the ship, the next he was running off on the island.They had to chase him around the island again.This time, when they put him on the ship, they tied him to the mast so that he wouldn't escape again.

Scene 11:

When they had gone far enough from the island, they untied him.He had a temper tantrum because he hated being tied up but eventually realized the reason they had tied him up.Both cats slept for the rest of the trip.

Scene 12:

When they reached Athens, Willy got off the boat with Mery and showed her around.When they reached Mount Olympus, Willy, Mery and Odysseus looked up. “Geez, how are we gonna get up?”Mery asked. “We have to climb up.”Willy answered.They started to climb. Suddenly, Odysseus asked “Shouldn't we tie ourselves to each other for safety?”Both Willy and Mery both stared at him. “So you think that you could tie Willy to me without strangling me?!”Mery asked, shocked. “Yeah, if you go last and I go first.”He replied.Willy and Mery both agreed that it was a bad idea, so they went up the mountain without any ropes.They climbed for half a day and finally agreed to take a break.

Scene 13:

They were busy enjoying the view when suddenly they heard a hissing sound.They turned around and saw Medusa running straight at them because they were on her territory!Odysseus ran off screaming, leaving Willy and Mery behind with Medusa.Willy quickly thought of a way to defeat Medusa.He had it! “Are you good at riddles?”he asked Medusa. “Yes, I'm very good since I know almost all of them”She replied. “Fine, then if you don't answer this one right, then you don't kill us.OK?”Willy meowed “Mery, ask her your most difficult one.”Mery thought about all the riddles she knew. “A hill-full, a hole-full, you cannot catch a bowl-full”Medusa thought for quite a while.Finally, she gave up and let them pass.Odysseus had been watching from behind a bush, and jumped out to congragulate them.

Scene 14:

They climbed a day or two and then finally Olympus came in sight.They were about to cross the gate when suddenly a huge chicken with the tail of a snake plopped down in front of them.

“Who are you?”it asked.Willy wondered if this was Zeus's idea of a guard. “I am Willy, god of mischief, this is Odysseus and that little black kitten is Mery, guardian of the Golden Fleece.The big chicken just stared at them.Suddenly, Odysseus ran off screaming again.'Such a coward'Willy thought.Willy licked his lips.'That's a lot of tasty chicken!'He thought. He leaned over to Mery and whispered “That'll make quite a feast, don't you think?”Mery nodded.They both charged at the chicken.

“NOOOOOOOOO!!! CAAAAAATS !!!”, the big chicken screamed. He immediately let them pass.

“Thank you.” Willy said very politely.

Scene 15:

They entered Olympus and were welcomed by Zeus, who was still quite upset about his collapsed temple. Mery was amazed at how clean everything was, since she was used to the forest. “Who are all these people? Why do they look so dumb? What are they doing?” Then all the gods gasped in shock. Apollo glared at Mery in disgust. “Who areyouto say we look dumb? Hmm?” Mery just walked over and didsomething vilenext to him, who screamed in terror. “See?You are quite dumb!Told you so!”Apollo's face turned red. “Do I look dumb?” Poseidon asked “Yes.You all look dumb.I just said so!Are you deaf?”She replied.Willy dragged her out of the square. “Don't insult Zeus, otherwise he's gonna make all the temples collapse, and then my catnip collection will be ruined.”He whispered.Then he took her to a hotel booked her a room.(but he made her pay).