Why You Shouldn’t Be So Freaked Out About Your Future
You’re scared of the future. Admit it. You always have been. In middle school, you were scared of all your friends going to different high schools and never speaking to each other again. (You were right. Living in a different school district spelled death for many tween friendships but you survived it, didn’t you?) In high school, you were fearful of college, of moving away and adjusting to ‘adult life” (LOL at you for thinking college resembled anything close to adult. At best, it was a very expensive summer camp that lasted for four years!) but then, would you believe it, you did that too. You stuck it out, never dropped out, never buckled under the pressure. Your future quickly became your present and you didn’t run away screaming.
Now you’re scared of what exactly? Your friends marrying and leaving you behind, of once a month catch up lunches with someone you used to call your best friend, of not finding somebody to love you in time and missing out on these so-called important life changes, of being the only one in the room who wants another drink, of getting fired and being taken back to the dreaded feeling of post grad unemployment, of your limbs failing you, of your anxiety keeping you frozen, of never feeling enough pride in your answer when someone asks you “What do you do for a living?” at a party?
Yes, okay, I see your point. Those arevalid fears. Those would be things that keep you up at night. But here’ssomething to consider the next time your fears lead to insomnia and your brainbecomes a personal torture chamber: all of those fears you had in the past,those “vintage” anxieties that kept you up in 2004, where are they now?
That’s right, they’re gone. You killed allof them. You got over it. You lived.
I’ve never been a Zen type of person. Quitethe opposite, actually. I’m always thinking far ahead, planning and taking thenecessary steps that will lead me to where I need to go. It’s a hellish way tolive because you’re incapable of enjoying anything in the moment and are, in away, permanently dissatisfied.
“Where you need to go.” Think about what thateven means. It indicates a discontent with your present life, a desire forsomething else. But, honestly, the kinds of people who are always talking about“where they need to go” are the ones who will never be happy with anything intheir life. There will always be another high to reach, a new destination to goto. And if that’s the case, if you can’t even enjoy things as they’re happeningto you, what the hell is the point of even existing? You’re never going to sitback one day and be like, “Yup. This is exactly where I need to be. I’m donesearching now.” Life will always be about needing that unattainable somethingelse in order to complete the puzzle. It’s a crutch, an excuse to be unhappyand not go after what you want. “I’ll have time to date when this happens, I’llbe better and happier when I can move out of this apartment’ blah blah blah.Stop fooling yourself. Your misery is not circumstantial, it’s a permanentstate of being.
The best gift you could give to yourself isperspective and the ability to enjoy today without worrying about tomorrow.Take your anxieties on bit by bit, thus making everything more manageable, andrealize that your future is not out to murder you. It’s not a shadowy ghostfigure wielding a chainsaw.
Besides, the only way you can ensure havinga good future is by living a good present. That’s it. That’s the secret togetting exactly what you want out of life. So start paying attention to what’sgoing on around you. Otherwise, you might miss everything and give yourself areal reason to be unhappy.
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