使女的故事

Atwood, the author of The Handmaid’s Tale, shows off her token snark in this very short story, which takes the reader through all of the different ways in which a fictional couple, John and Mary, could possibly end up. Hint: It’s not so happy.

阿特伍德，也就是最近大热的《使女的故事》的作者，在这篇短小精悍的小说中尽情炫耀了一把自己标志性的讽刺手法，带领读者体验了一对虚构夫妇约翰和玛丽可能经历的各种不同结局。温馨提示：这些结局并没有那么幸福。

《幸福结局》

Happy Endings

by 玛格丽特·阿特伍德

Margaret Atwood

John and Mary meet.

What happens next?

If you want a happy ending, try A.

约翰和玛莉邂逅了，

然后会发生什么？

如果你希望一个幸福的结局，尝试A。

A.

John and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile and remunerative jobs which they find stimulating and challenging. They buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they can afford live-in help, they have two children, to whom they are devoted. The children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and challenging sex life and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations together. They retire. They both have hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging. Eventually they die. This is the end of the story.

约翰和玛莉堕入了爱河，结了婚。他们都有一份称心如意，报酬不错的工作，不乏刺激和趣味。买了一间不错的屋子后，房地产升了值。最后，当他们付得起家务费用时，他们生了两个孩子，并专注地照料他们。孩子茁壮成长。约翰和玛莉的夫妻生活刺激有趣味，也不乏称心如意的朋友。他们一起度过有趣的假期。然后他们退休了。他们都有自己的爱好，不乏刺激和趣味。最后，他们终老。这就是故事的结局。

B.

Mary falls in love with John but John doesn't fall in love with Mary. He merely uses her body for selfish pleasure and ego gratification of a tepid kind. He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner, you'll notice that he doesn't even consider her worth the price of a dinner out, and after he's eaten dinner he fucks her and after that he falls asleep, while she does the dishes so he won't think she's untidy, having all those dirty dishes lying around, and puts on fresh lipstick so she'll look good when he wakes up, but when he wakes up he doesn't even notice, he puts on his socks and his shorts and his pants and his shirt and his tie and his shoes, the reverse order from the one in which he took them off. He doesn't take off Mary's clothes, she takes them off herself, she acts as if she's dying for it every time, not because she likes sex exactly, she doesn't, but she wants John to think she does because if they do it often enough surely he'll get used to her, he'll come to depend on her and they will get married, but John goes out the door with hardly so much as a good-night and three days later he turns up at six o'clock and they do the whole thing over again.

玛莉爱上了约翰但是约翰不爱玛莉。他仅仅是利用她的身体自私地玩乐，以一种温和的方式自我满足。他每周去她的公寓两次，她给他做晚餐，你会发现他甚至觉得她连一顿晚餐都不值。等他吃过晚餐，他和她上床，然后他睡自己的觉，而她去洗碟子，以使他不会觉得她邋遢，把脏碟子摆那，她还重新涂上唇膏，等他醒来时样子看上去不错。但等他醒来，他什么也没留意，他顺序穿上他的短袜，短裤、裤子、衬衫、戴上他的领带最后穿上他的鞋子，与脱掉它们的顺序正好相反。他从不亲自脱玛莉的衣服，她自己来，她每次都表现得非常渴求。倒不是因为她喜欢上床，而是想让约翰以为她喜欢。只要他们经常一起睡，他会习惯她，依赖她，然后和她结婚。然而，约翰连一句晚安也没说就打开门走了。三天后，他在六点准时现身，然后和她重复做之前做的事。

Mary gets run-down. Crying is bad for your face, everyone knows that and so does Mary but she can't stop. People at work notice. Her friends tell her John is a rat, a pig, a dog, he isn't good enough for her, but she can't believe it. Inside John, she thinks, is another John, who is much nicer. This other John will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a Jack from a box, a pit from a prune, if the first John is only squeezed enough.

玛莉几近崩溃，哭只会让脸色难看，人人都知道，但玛莉就是控制不了，在工作的人都留意到她。她的朋友劝她说约翰猪狗不如，配不上她，但她听不进去。

使女的故事