Hello everyone, this is Helen Huang @ Organizing, based in Beijing, China. In order to better learn and practice the YiXiaoNeng Time Management System, after finished publishing 100 Chinese articles, I decided to continue writing and publishing a daily English article in another 100 days based on the "YeWuBin Time Management 100 Episodes" audio program. Today is the 196th day.
Today's topic is: Always Strive to Live the Online Life
If time management is based on energy management, then we must learn to manage our emotions to improve our efficiency.
Some people say that sometimes we are angels, sometimes we are devils. So today, we are going to talk about our emotions, which consist of online and offline emotions. We have talked about how to understand online and offline habits. Today, we will discuss two types of emotions.
The first is offline emotion. Offline emotions are made up of negative emotions, including criticism, worry, accusation, fear, complaint, comparison and so on.
Online emotions, on the other hand, include love, peace, and joy.
And some emotions are both online and offline, such as forgiveness. This is called a dividing line.
Our emotions cannot always be either online or offline. Our emotions are always in a constant state of change… constantly transforming from one stage to another, often crossing over the dividing line.
Our emotions can transform from negative to positive, that is upward; or from positive to negative, or downward. And sometimes our emotions remain unchanged, that means online. So online emotions refer to having a stable emotion – one that is balanced between positive and negative forces.
When something happens, then your reaction is your choice.
When faced with criticism, when faced with accusation, when faced with complaint, if you react defensively and negatively, this conflict will persist, and may even lead to a chain reaction of negative emotions.
If you choose to be online, this situation will gradually reverse. When one thing happens, if the other person is offline, and you are online, the confrontation may linger for a short period of time. But one thing I can confirm is that if you remain online, while the other resists with offline emotions, sooner or later, he will be online.
You will be tempted to respond negatively to the other person's offline reaction. That is why you must practice your online behaviors until they become habit and you must train your thoughts to be neutral and stable, otherwise your emotions will destabilize, your reaction will further prolong the situation and you will falter towards an offline set of emotions. The situation will then persist rather than end quickly.
Today I want to tell you that if you are able to remain in a stable, balanced, online emotional state, the other person will calm down and come online just like you.
Emotions don't just change within a person but they also act between people. If we think of relationships as being either strong or weak, we can say that strong relationships bring us emotions, while weak relationships bring us information. People who have strong relationships with us include our parents, brothers, sisters, spouse, and business partners. We love them and want them to be happy, so we are more willing to persuade them to change, rather than to convince ourselves of changing.
But I want you to remember, that you are the root of all things. If we cannot change ourselves, how can we ask others to change? So we have to make a decision, that is, we have to change ourselves before changing others. We have to live online, and guide our parents, brothers, sister, spouse and business partners to change themselves from offline to online.
This is a long journey. This is difficult to do. Are you ready？Are you ready to control your emotions?
If you have a clear understanding of this, you will have a very important sense of purpose and direction for your emotional management. You will have a goal that you want to achieve.
Decide, purposely decide in each heated moment that your response will be online, that your response will be one that you have control over, and that you will feel comfortable with. Choose, consciously choose to stabilize a situation rather than prolong it.
You will not be perfect and you will be drawn to the offline mentality by others. Emotions are difficult to manage and it requires tremendous discipline to control. If you can control your emotions and remain in an online mentality even half of the time, you are doing an excellent job. What matters is that you know your purpose and you keep disciplined. That you are forming a habit.
Every morning, when you wake up, your mood is neither good nor bad. It is neutral. As soon as one thing happens to you, your mood will be affected. In that moment you have to be prepared and disciplined enough to control your mood and have a deliberate response. You choose your mood. This is very important for you to remember and remind yourself. You choose your mood. Start practicing today.
Bijan Anjomi, the instructor of a training course I attended, wrote a book which I recommend you read. He is an American that is well-known in both China and America. The book is called Absolutely Effortless Prosperity -30 Simple Yet Profound Lessons That Will Transform Your Life in 30 Days. I read it long time ago, before it was published. For the past two years, I have read a single chapter of that book every day. There are 3 versions of the book, so when you finish the first one, you can read the second and third if you like. He is the one who taught me the concept of the online and offline life. So I owe him a debt of gratitude.
At the same time, when I practice controlling my online and offline emotions, I strive to improve the control and my ability to maintain my online state. The reward for this is huge. And if you can succeed in this habit, then you will see these rewards in your life will come fruitfully. So get started today! Don't delay!
That's all sharing today. Thank you being with me together. Have a wonderful day!
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