This is the first time that I discover this issue. For quite a long time, I have been persuading myself that English is the subject I love. I still remember that extensive reading course when our class teacher asked us why we chose English major, and my answer was “out of hobby”. But now, it seems that I need to check and review such a confident, or even haughty opinion (satirically the word “haughty” escaped my mind for a while—my vocabulary building has long been still).
Why I came up with such an idea? That’s because one of my classmates, Carina Wong, went Nanjing for the provincial competition of interpreting. I took part in the same contest last year, but did not get through the school level. This time Carina lived through, and if her information was correct, she would won the second prize.
I have to confess that I do envy her, a lot. Everyone knows that oral English has long been my strength, yet I did not achieve much accomplishment except for the competition last November (and Carina did better than me I have to say). As time goes by, I began to discover that fellows around were showing some transcendent talents in English, like my roommate who won the spelling contest, the cosplay lover who got 7.0 in IELTS examination. And now, one more—a girl who is good at interpreting. Oh perhaps there are not only one girl.
I checked Carina’s blog and Moments, and found that she is the kind of girl who never show off her hard work yet always moving forward, towards her dream of going abroad to Australia for undergraduate. She is always saying that I am better than her, and according to her own accounts, her ultimate goal is to be a teacher in her hometown. I think she must have a high demand on her boyfriend—she has been working so hard just for the occupation of a teacher in Nanjing. It is really, to some degree, awful. I could see that she does love English, and seeing this as her lifelong pursuit. She loves American TV series, phubbing instagram , and practising basic skills. It seems that her time everyday on study is not long—shorter than me at least, but she does progress every day. Practising interpretation, reciting glossary...and now we are clear to see that my level could hardly catch up with hers, if not far left behind.
I cannot help but to ask myself: do I really love English? Is my hobby , the subject that I chose to be the lifelong pursuit, really something I fancy? I hate listening to newscasts, and reciting words. Yet these are the elementary procedure to acquire a language.
Perhaps I love nothing that could actually benefit my future. I simply get lashed, and feel the pressure of moving forward, yet I would rather not had I had the choice. Admit that, poor Gavin: you like electronic games, browsing web pages, and toying with your poor “efficient apps”. Others use apps to make themselves more efficient, and you simply study how to use apps. Thanks! You made the way for others to choose their apps more quickly and conveniently!
I know that distractions, or to be more exact, blocks and obstacles in my way towards a better man : dorm, phone, games, and porn. But I simply cannot resist.
So pathetic. I may as well rest now.
2018-04-16, 17:16
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