I kept thinking about the questions:when talking with foreigners, they ask questions like this:Where're you from?Why do you come here? And I have no idea about how to take things from the "acquaintances" stage and build relationships.Since being able to start conversations is the starting point to making friends… and being able to keep a conversation going is the key to building relationships and making friends, I figure it’s as good a place as any to start talking about.
I 've found two important ways to help you keep your conversation,get people to make friends with you and like you. 1)have something interesting to say when you speak.First let's take time to understand what's interesting and what's boring in the dictionary:
Interesting: engaging or exciting and holding attention or curiosity; arousing a FEELING of interest.
Boring: not interesting; tedious; so lacking in interest as to cause mental weariness.
So Being interesting literally means arousing a FEELING of interest inside another person to hold their attention. The first thing you need to do is make sure you’re interesting by making sure you’re stimulating people’s EMOTIONS when you’re talking to them.
The next question is how to make your conversations or what you talk about more interesting?
2) Tell stories during the conversation.
Here’s the first rule about stories:Our brains think in pictures.For example, if I say the word beach, a picture of a beach forms in your mind, and you can build a story off that by putting people in it, and talking about how they were all swimming together as the waves came crashing down over their heads.But you've got the word'productivity'?Since your imagination and the pictures you form in your head are what cause the feelings you experience in your body, you can’t hold a person’s attention for very long.
If you can’t build a picture in a person’s head, you can’t make yourself or the other person FEEL anything… and you can’t, by definition, be INTERESTING.
For this reason, when you’re talking to people, you want to use vivid DESCRIPTIVE words that build a picture in the other person’s mind, and always be focused on telling a progressive story that has a theme and is always leading somewhere, creates curiosity, interest and keeps a person focused on what’s happening.This use of storytelling and emotions is how a television show can hold your attention for HOURS without any hesitation, how it keeps your attention, and how it makes you feel focused and captivated on it (and tune out everything else)… that’s the effect you want to have on people socially with your words.
Another example is sports… all sports do is to make people feel emotions to get them involved in the game and hold their attention, and if you can do this when you talk to people, you can make them instantly like you and want to be friends with you.As an example of this social principle, think about Facebook, it’s another perfect example right in front of our eyes of how socializing works:People post something that has debate or opinion value, and other people respond by posting their thoughts/opinions/feelings on the subject… that’s the core of what socializing, and two-way communication, is all about.So make sure you keep them interested in whatever you’re talking about by focusing on telling stories, generating feelings by using visuals to create the story when you talk, and letting people know that, like a TV show, you’re interesting and entertaining, can hold their attention for long periods of time, and you’re someone they would FEEL GOOD around by being friends with.
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